An invitation on a discussion on Mental Health in whatsapp from a friend
caught my eye. The words "Mental Health" meant nothing to a mad bawi like
me. It's a given (ha ha ha)........ Me being Me, with a zest of life, always wanting
to meet, greet and make more friends, I decided to go to know more about 'Mental
Health' that everyone is talking about today.... Actually, if I were to
honestly admit, it was just that there were also those two women I just had to
meet again - Meera and Sonali.
I must admit that the beautiful auditorium at Godrej's India Culture Lab, Vikhroli,
really blew my mind. A pod cast with Nikhil, Aalap and Cyrus Sahukar "Work
in Progress Episode 1 - The Anxiety of Choice" was being premiered. Aalap, Cyrus and Nikhil tackled this
paradox through some sensible and meaningful ..and some crazy banter. All my friends know that I love taking notes of points that touch me and
keeping them with me, but sadly I could not separate names and voices.. Here are some of the nuggets I jotted
listening to them, but don't ask me who said what !! They talked about how
generations had no choices earlier while today there are choices, choices and
choices (oh yes, how I agree with this one). Not to mention that according to
one of them today it is a white room with no floors and ceilings.. I totally
agreed with their point on 'everyone looks back and thinks the other generation
had it better'. As men, they agreed that while women were allowed to express
their feelings, men were not allowed to feel sad about anything and if they did
it was invalidated immediately. Nikhil made a very valid point saying that when
he lost his mobile, others seemed to think that there was more to life than losing
a mobile and more worst problems others faced.
I must admit that this really made me sit up and think. How true is it that we often disregard
someone else's problem as unimportant and insignificant without realising that maybe
for that person it means a great deal. Nikhil had not lost his mobile but he
had lost a script he had been working on that mobile. I asked him after the
event and was sad to know that he had not managed saved it elsewhere. Think
about it.... Is it not a fact that we seem to be not understanding about
how much something affects another just based on our assumptions of the
situation. Here is where each one of us needs to step up for our friend, family
and others. Don't we say one man's meat is another man's poison. Not saying
more on this, here is a link of the world premiere episode and live podcast for
you : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjisCI-ial8
.... but wait here is one message that really will stay with me forever. Everyone
seems to believe sending out messages to the Universe is a sure shot way to get
what you want. Well, one of them just
burst the bubble with, "The Universe is not like Ramu Kaka waiting to take
your order"! .... and yes, if you figure out who said that then let me
know !!
The panel on stage was Sonali Gupta, Clinical Psychologist, Ranaboli
Ray, Founder &
Managing Trustee of 'Anjali' Mental Rights
Organisation, 104.8 IshqFM RJ Meera Dhamji and Nikhil Taneja, Writer &
Storyteller. Each one of them had
battled their own demons and therefore each word that they said, is everything
you need to know. Nikhil shared
something that happens to all of us, but we don't really sit up and take notice
of it. He remembers panicking at a world
class event and how he could not just get himself out of bed to get there
thinking about the worst things that could happen like, he would not get there
in time, his suit was not right, he would say the wrong things and so on. Most of us get these panic attacks but if it
passes we are fine, but as Nikhil says when it became too difficult to handle, it
is time to take help. He also mentioned how we take "mood swings"
lightly and should not as these are triggers and must be addressed at the
earliest. As for Sonali, she shared how she had spent her childhood practically
living in hospital where her father was admitted and how she began to
understand trauma, depression and more, enough to be able to be able to help
others today. Meera shared a story of one of her listeners, unhappy and
depressed at being unable to conform to society norms of sexuality and not being
the son his mother wanted.
We all have been hearing that mental health is a big issue in these days
of stress and so when it starts affecting your personality, social interactions
and you get depressed often or get frequent panic attacks, it is time to seek
help. We don't do that do we. We pretend
all is good and then move on with our lives till one day you just break down. Did
you know that apparently there are just 2500 trained psychologists in our
country and that the number people affected by it is increasing each day. When
I retired, I knew I would have a lot of time on my hands and for me 9-5 routine
meant a great deal because it kept me busy and weekends just were my recycle
craft days. Today, all days are recycle craft days (ha ha) so I started writing,
blogging, keeping busy by attending events like this one on Mental Health, meeting
people, making selfie memories (adore this part), making friends (top on my
list) who gave me so many opportunities to do more... and I truly believe in reinforcing
belief in my capabilities cause it is my way of dealing with my time and
energies today. No, I am not preaching or saying I know best, but simply saying
that one has to understand limitations, appreciate change or make the change
and find that space that is YOU. I've
said enough, so am going to let the panel speak to us through what they
shared. Here are the nuggets from them to
help understand Mental Health....
- 'We become labels we put on ourselves..
- 'Therapy is about helping clients finding their own answers...'
- 'Embracing the fact that sometimes there are no answers..'
- 'Watch out for strained relationships, couples anxiety, loneliness and burn-out'
Sonali Gupta is a Clinical Psychologist
and Practising Therapist who works with people struggling with behavioural,depression
and emotional concerns, sexuality related concerns, Psychosomatic
issues and around the science of
intuition and self-esteem - https://www.guptasonali.com
Ratnaboli Ray says.....
- 'Self awareness... Believe in yourself.. Be the subject and the object yourself..'
- 'We talk in a language less threatening to make women in far flung areas to understand mental health..Everyday behavior should not be a label of mental health'
- 'Please make list of 5 people you can reach out to even if you have not met for years...'
- 'Coming out is a difficult task... It's about self awareness... What is your emotional landscape.. Do you not get into the trap of 'thinking'..
- 'Realising your potential, productivity, dealing with stress and somewhere opportunity also plays an important role especially for people who live in the margins of society who get no chances or opportunities.'
Ratnaboli Ray, is a leading advocate for the rights of people with
psychosocial disabilities (mental health conditions) in India. Founder &
Managing Trustee of 'Anjali' Mental Rights
Organisation - Website:www.anjalimentalhealth.org
RJ Meera Dhamji says
.......
- 'Even if we up number of mental health officials until we don't have a conducive environment, then we are not doing right'
- "On radio, I have to be the person who listens to what you are saying. Sharing personal stories help heal"
- 'Anything that keeps you from being the person you want to be'
Nikhil Taneja says
..
- Listen.. Be kinder on a day to day basis'
- 'Not every second of our time needs to be used.. Find what makes you feel the moment has purpose....
- 'Sadly, the moment you say mental health people think psycho'..
- 'Chasing the next goal.. next high.. If working its fine. The moment your plan does not work out..Pause, Feel..There is more to life...'
- 'Misplaced ideas of happiness dependent on someone else, something else. We never realise it is something we have to discover ourselves.'
Nikhil is an Independent Writer- Producer-Storyteller-
Teacher-Consultant for Digital/Film/TV/Ads
