Sunday 11 June 2017

Dear Friend, face-to-face, please !!



Recently, I attended an event organised by BeHiver, a group that says "Let's start talking again. Conversations. Meaningful conversations".....What a beautiful concept to say "humanising conversations".... (and hey, like BeHiver on facebook)..... The beauty of the event was that it had just the right number of people. In fact, just right to get to know each other and bond.  Funny story or should I say "happy story"... while I was waiting for the event to start, sitting there chatting about movies and sundry with the BeHiver team, a young boy on the next table just happily joined in our conversation. Not necessary to say that our conversation became livelier, and we shared so much and hey, I made a new friend right there.... and at the event, too. That is the magic of talking face-to-face, and that got me thinking!!!

Life has indeed become a pillar to post run that never seems to end. Everyone seems to be talking about not having the time to do things they love and putting things on the back burner. There is no time  to meet people to connect face-to-face but then thank God for the mobile and the social media, they say !!   I really wonder if that is enough. I am, however, just a big believer in face-to-face meetings that lead to friendships forever. One day I had this wild thought of writing on my face book wall "Hi, we've met here on the FB wall often, but I would like to actually see you, meet you personally. I am going to be at (place) on (date) at (time). Drop in and lets connect over tea"... Of course, a friend flew off the handle and cautioned me, calling me nuts for sending out an open invitation to not just friends but maybe other nuts out there. I wonder, if maybe I had sent that note out, then today some of my friends would have stepped out of the FB page to meet me in person.  I might have just made my connects much stronger. Besides, honestly I am one of those who can't really put a face to the voice and I think most will agree.  That voice on the phone can throw me off cause my imagination definitely runs wild and voices don't match their appearances at all. They never do!!! I have been told this about my voice too...... a number of times.... so it is better that you meet me soon, in person, and be prepared to be shocked !!!

Then it is not absolutely true that people don't meet. Walk down to any of the coffee shops and you will see all ages bonding. With long working hours, the constraints to meet are definitely there. Exhaustion after work with no inclination to dress up to go out, all one craves for is to curl up on the bed and use social media to stay connected. I've realised that it is not just about making friends or meeting people these days. The whole world is on remote, whether marketing, socialising, connecting or even friendship. You don't need to "be there" but then you are "there" too. You call someone and it may take you just five seconds to put them on "whose listening" mode.  It happens to all of us, right. That mobile in the hand, someone at the other end and hey, there you go... zoning out and doing something else.

Remote communication has become the norm today. Conversations on phone are much like marketing calls. I don't need to know what you are doing at that moment or what is going on inside that head of yours. That voice on the phone steers you, owns you and takes you sometimes to a place of no return. If that same someone had been sitting in front of you, you might have had more questions to ask...more time to look into those eyes.... maybe... just maybe you could have escaped the power of being pushed in the corner to do or concede to something you never wanted to!! Face-to-face conversations give you that power.  You don't need to wait for other person to finish before you talk. You can jump right in to debate, argue, disagree, share thoughts, stories and discuss everything that makes you want to sit around more.

My retirement days too are on remote with facebook, twitter, etc. but I make it a point to get out more than most do, attending workshops, meeting friends, etc. In fact too much but then that's just crazy me, who loves to meet and greet.  Why do you think today the gardens are blooming with happy seniors walking, talking, interacting and sitting on benches enjoying life. Everyone needs someone to talk with, to vent frustrations, to interact, to get opinions. Don't you just yearn for that see-you-again hug... I definitely do... Social media, the saviour today but tomorrow people at the other end may just not be around. Friends and family too and though some may not realise it today meeting up is as important as a meal each day. All you need is one happy face, one smile, one conversation....that warm hug goodbye and you've made a memory too with no regrets in future to say "I wish I had met him/her but it is too late now".

So, call on me....let's meet face-to-face, laugh, share, argue, disagree and crib together too....... I'm waiting !!!

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Oh no, not again she said , God! Mom
Another lecture, are you never done.

Lecture I must, Mom said, cause life is scary
Unpredictable, Tensions are many
Life for you is from pillar to post
When did you last float paper boats
Dance in the rain or take a walk
Sat by the sea with friends to talk

Watch the sunset, see birds fly
Look up and marvel at the starry sky
You've no time to hear birds sing
Life is just a big boxing ring
Facebook, Instagram, 140 characters tweets
Don't you miss your friend's voices, so sweet

Stop breathe, take a walk, sing
Say hello to nature, see what joy it brings
For when like me, you're old and grey

You'll wish you went out to play