Dear Friend, face-to-face, please !!

Recently, I attended an event organised by BeHiver, a group that says "Let's start talking again. Conversations. Meaningful conversations".....What a beautiful concept to say "humanising conversations".... (and hey, like BeHiver on facebook)..... The beauty of the event was that it had just the right number of people. In fact, just right to get to know each other and bond.  Funny story or should I say "happy story"... while I was waiting for the event to start, sitting there chatting about movies and sundry with the BeHiver team, a young boy on the next table just happily joined in our conversation. Not necessary to say that our conversation became livelier, and we shared so much and hey, I made a new friend right there.... and at the event, too. That is the magic of talking face-to-face, and that got me thinking!!!

Life has indeed become a pillar to post run that never seems to end. Everyone seems to be talking about not having the time to do things they love and putting things on the back burner. There is no time  to meet people to connect face-to-face but then thank God for the mobile and the social media, they say !!   I really wonder if that is enough. I am, however, just a big believer in face-to-face meetings that lead to friendships forever. One day I had this wild thought of writing on my face book wall "Hi, we've met here on the FB wall often, but I would like to actually see you, meet you personally. I am going to be at (place) on (date) at (time). Drop in and lets connect over tea"... Of course, a friend flew off the handle and cautioned me, calling me nuts for sending out an open invitation to not just friends but maybe other nuts out there. I wonder, if maybe I had sent that note out, then today some of my friends would have stepped out of the FB page to meet me in person.  I might have just made my connects much stronger. Besides, honestly I am one of those who can't really put a face to the voice and I think most will agree.  That voice on the phone can throw me off cause my imagination definitely runs wild and voices don't match their appearances at all. They never do!!! I have been told this about my voice too...... a number of times.... so it is better that you meet me soon, in person, and be prepared to be shocked !!!

Then it is not absolutely true that people don't meet. Walk down to any of the coffee shops and you will see all ages bonding. With long working hours, the constraints to meet are definitely there. Exhaustion after work with no inclination to dress up to go out, all one craves for is to curl up on the bed and use social media to stay connected. I've realised that it is not just about making friends or meeting people these days. The whole world is on remote, whether marketing, socialising, connecting or even friendship. You don't need to "be there" but then you are "there" too. You call someone and it may take you just five seconds to put them on "whose listening" mode.  It happens to all of us, right. That mobile in the hand, someone at the other end and hey, there you go... zoning out and doing something else.

Remote communication has become the norm today. Conversations on phone are much like marketing calls. I don't need to know what you are doing at that moment or what is going on inside that head of yours. That voice on the phone steers you, owns you and takes you sometimes to a place of no return. If that same someone had been sitting in front of you, you might have had more questions to ask...more time to look into those eyes.... maybe... just maybe you could have escaped the power of being pushed in the corner to do or concede to something you never wanted to!! Face-to-face conversations give you that power.  You don't need to wait for other person to finish before you talk. You can jump right in to debate, argue, disagree, share thoughts, stories and discuss everything that makes you want to sit around more.

My retirement days too are on remote with facebook, twitter, etc. but I make it a point to get out more than most do, attending workshops, meeting friends, etc. In fact too much but then that's just crazy me, who loves to meet and greet.  Why do you think today the gardens are blooming with happy seniors walking, talking, interacting and sitting on benches enjoying life. Everyone needs someone to talk with, to vent frustrations, to interact, to get opinions. Don't you just yearn for that see-you-again hug... I definitely do... Social media, the saviour today but tomorrow people at the other end may just not be around. Friends and family too and though some may not realise it today meeting up is as important as a meal each day. All you need is one happy face, one smile, one conversation....that warm hug goodbye and you've made a memory too with no regrets in future to say "I wish I had met him/her but it is too late now".

So, call on me....let's meet face-to-face, laugh, share, argue, disagree and crib together too....... I'm waiting !!!

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Oh no, not again she said , God! Mom

Another lecture, are you never done.

Lecture I must, Mom said, cause life is scary

Unpredictable, Tensions are many

Life for you is from pillar to post

When did you last float paper boats

Dance in the rain or take a walk

Sat by the sea with friends to talk

Watch the sunset, see birds fly

Look up and marvel at the starry sky

You've no time to hear birds sing

Life is just a big boxing ring

Facebook, Instagram, 140 characters tweets

Don't you miss your friend's voices, so sweet

Stop breathe, take a walk, sing

Say hello to nature, see what joy it brings

For when like me, you're old and grey

You'll wish you went out to play

I am a mobile addict

Can I give up my mobile for a day? I wonder. I can't even imagine my life without a mobile today, even though there are many who may not agree. I know that there are strong and disciplined people out there who detox occasionally from mobile but I am not ready to admit I need that. Staying connected to people is life itself for me. I can't imagine a day without my fingers not tapping, swiping or watching flickering pictures and staying connected. I know the world is not going to end if I put that mobile away nor are my friends going to go away either.

I am great at multitasking and creative thinking so what if I cut paste a wrong message to someone it was not meant for sometimes. So what if I hit auto text turning "dear" into "dead"...or "yoga" into "yoda"..and the one worst that I fear "peace" and not "pieces" (you know, the rest in peace one..I check this a 100% times over). In the morning, along with that cup of tea it's the newspaper and the mobile for me. Reading through whatsapp, facebook and the newspaper to check what happened before I woke up (well, it is another fact that I get up very late these days..retired you see!!!).  So what if the very next thing I do is to clear the chat of all those annoying good mornings, picture notifications and that one same message that pops up in each and every group like a tsunami on a particular day.... Okay, I do know it is a nice way to start a morning by wishing each other and I do appreciate your love, but no one needs a beep beep 365 days a year especially me, at unearthly hours. You are awake my friend, but my morning has not yet begun so then don't blame me for putting you on silent mode. Silent mode, indeed!!! ........ there I go checking whether you have wished me that morning. I don't want it to beep, I want it to beep, totally confused me.

You know what's funny. Let me tell you what makes me feel more sane than most mobile addicts. I don't text my family sitting in the same room or in the next room even if we are on the same group. Now that's what I call real crazy. So what if I use a missed call to my daughter, as a signal to come to my room. Now, that I think is an intelligent use of the mobile instead of shouting, is it not?

You may wonder what is it that I am missing out on by using my mobile consistently. You must also be thinking that I definitely need to be doing something else instead? That is never an issue with me. I work from home but get around a lot too doing crazy and fun stuff, in fact quite a lot than most people.....and when I am out the internet package is off because funny as it may sound, I just never seem to need it when I am with friends or out. I simply inform those I need to stay connected to during that day via sms that I am off whatsapp, etc. Simple but effective way to break away from face book and whatsapp because I become a photographer and need my mobile to stay alive through the day as I go click click. It's another story that once I am home, there I go posting all  those photos on social media. As corny as it sounds, I want to be able to watch a show without feeling the need to share a photo but then I am a pro at doing just that without looking at the screen. I know I will have that one picture of the many I went click click click looking over the mobile. Yes, I am a notorious shutterbug strong desire to capture every moment and  memory.

I love my sleep too, so switching off the internet connection the moment it is bedtime and that means the internet package of my mobile too is a done deal. Of course not the mobile calls, after all who knows who might need to call you. 

Besides I am also not one of those who think the theatre hall is the personal hall of my home. Yes, I do get up and tick off those using the mobiles in the theatre.  Silent mode indeed, but what about that annoying light that flickers in the darkness. Not to mention my counterparts who discuss menus with their cooks mid-movie or those who love to text or talk especially during a song sequence...Hello, I want to watch that song you know and I don't need additional disco lights from your mobile to enjoy it more!!!

I'm a good girl and don't text or talk when I drive even though you know, I am quite a pro and can do just that. I won't profess not to have done that before...but with a near disaster once, texting and driving is a definite no, no and even answering the phone today. My mobile definitely lies now in my purse hanging behind the driver seat completely inaccessible and away from temptation. Besides, I am just too much in love with life for that.

I just love mindlessly opening up applications, scrolling through and connecting with friends. Internet advises setting realistic limits for oneself of using the applications of not more than an hour or so in a day (not going to happen!!!) or for not longer than 15 minutes at a time (hmmmm!!).... Leave my mobile at home, switch off while on holiday. How stupid would that be in this crazy world where anything happens at anytime. 

Maybe I need to break up with my mobile..... even though I think I am doing fine.... 

My mobile is now my best friend, my love connection to my family and even more so with friends who I don't meet for months. Just maybe, just maybe, I am a mobile addict.......Maybe I do need to detoxify... May be I need to unplug from the unreal world to the world around me.. 

...........but then on second thoughts, I am already enjoying the best of both worlds... content to be on-line or off-line as I please.

Who says people have stopped reading & writing!!

Most of us like to read and some maybe some don’t... Even though reading helps understanding instructions on a jar, filling out applications and most importantly getting onto the right bus or train. Reading a book is a magical experience and happy reading to those who like to…… but who says people have stopped reading and writing? Let us leave the children out of this one.

Take me. I love to read and write. Maybe not a book but I read every morning, every afternoon, every evening and every night before going to bed? My day begins with reading the newspaper and then voila the mobile…starting with whatsapp…sms…..then face book ….then twitter and then instagram. Then everything I read and feel about, I write…I write on whatsapp, face book and sms and yes I tweet too and the cycle never stops.  I am the most well read person in the world!!! Everything I need to know is there for me to read daily and updating faster than I can keep up. Besides don’t forget the biggest bonus, I make friends and more and more each day and the reading and writing never stops.

What’s more I have realised that I have turned into the most creative person too.  I create cards for birthdays, I write messages for anniversaries, I send videos for information. I sometimes even create my own video message and send. There is absolutely no difference for me between stories in a book and the stories I share. They are more true and more from the heart each time. In fact my writings are just right for every occasion and you, my friend, get it when it needs to be shared. 

They say a book is a gift you can open again and again, but personally, why would I want to when there is so much new and interesting stuff to read with the flick of a finger. Think about it.  Reading can be quite a meditative lonely habit while reading is also an interaction that keeps the mind alive and responsive. You write, I respond. I write, you respond. The more I read, the more I will know about you and the more we will write and share.

I do profess though that till the digital world hit me, I read and read and read all the books I could lay my hands on during train journeys from office to work and back each day. Today I see the same thing but it’s not a book it’s the mobile that’s taken its place.  I do agree that books are truly a man’s best friend. So all readers of books go ahead and get lost in the wonderful world of words.  Book lovers enjoy your books, while today I enjoy being a SWIFT lover (Sms, Whatsapp, Instagram, Face book and Tweet lover, you see).  

See you sometimes on the SWIFT train. I am waiting.