Mr. Bachchan and Me !!!

The name is enough to make anyone crazy. Mr. Amitabh Bachchan.  The one actor and the wonderful human being that everyone dreams of meeting once in their lifetime. Not many are as unlucky and as lucky as me.  Let me tell you my story that reads like an old English proverb “There's many a slip between the cup and the lip.. “

It is 1972 and its Raj Kamal Studios where Jaya Bachchan is shooting for Piya Ka Ghar and we school girls are there to watch the shooting.  Standing in a line to get an autograph…which by the way is not for me? So while the girls put down their autograph books and she signs away talking to someone about Mr. Bachchan having fever, I thrust my autograph book under her nose. She smiles, signs it and tells us all to go and harass the hero Anil Dhawan, which we do.  Come 1974, the film Majboor releases and a friend and me find ourselves in the audience at the premier. I still remember that day as I dressed up in my pink and purple floral sari all excited and wondering where Mr. Bachchan was seated…and then the film ends and lo behold walking down the aisle is the man himself and I scamper after him as he begins to walk out of the door  and as I close an inevitable blooper happens…the pleats of my sari come unfold and I drop to the ground….nahin..nahiiiiiiiiiiiiin.... it is too late. Mr. Bachchan has gone out of the door and I shed silent tears. Of course, the outcome of this horrifying moment is simple. I never wore a sari thereafter without pinning the pleats, ha ha ha! 

Many years later and I mean many many years later in 2000, sitting at my desk at my bank I realise suddenly that colleagues are running to the foyer and it turns out that Mr. Bachchan is in the building.  Everyone is down in the foyer gathered to have a dekho.  The security control room has sprung into action and I being a volunteer as always find myself lining up the employees who for once had forgotten the time and the regular locals that they took home.  Every time the executive lift came down there would be a loud roar to a disappointment and then it happened.  There was Mr. Bachchan with my Deputy Managing Director stepping out of the lift.  I remember till date the look on Mr. Bachchan’s face of pure shock when he saw before him a serpentine pathway of screaming employees. He drops his head down into his chin and as I walk along side, I muster courage and say “Mr. Bachchan, please look up, They’ve been waiting for hours to see you”. A slight look at me and he walks ahead to the loudest noise I have ever heard a crowd make.  Holding hands with the security staff we walk behind Mr. Bachchan protecting him from the surging crowd of employees and as he reaches the main door, my Deputy Managing Director turns to me as the chain we have formed is being pushed against. “Hira, what is this, what is happening?” she asks while I tell her “M’am, Mr. Bachchan is saying something to you”…but she is so aghast that she keeps chiding me to control the employees... “M’am, it is Mr. Bachchan, what did you expect?’ I say as she waves him goodbye and employees disperses.

Surprisingly when the advertisement for the bank is shot in the foyer, the employees (not me) seem to have had their full of him.  Of course I watched him shoot and enjoyed every moment of that day.  During those days, I took a promise from my superiors for a photograph for my Saturday Kids Club children and yes that did happen too. Thereafter many and events and many an opportunity to see Mr. Bachchan up close on stage but none close enough for a photograph with him. Then I go on the sets of Kaun Banega Crorepati thanks to my bank and once again it is so near and yet so far… again!!!

One fine day my sister informs me that she is designing the coffee table book of Mr, Bachchan ”To be or not to Be” but I’ll be damned if she is ever going to get me to meet him. Yes, that’s my over the top professional sister for you, who would rather be damned than letting this filmy crazy keeda anywhere close to Mr. Bachchan.  No amount of pleading, threatening to disown her or begging worked and soon I gave up but then a surprise was waiting for me.  On my next birthday one of the gifts that tumbled out was the paperback with an autographed page by Mr. Bachchan ….scream… aaaaaaaa.. scream… aaaaaaa…scream….a handwritten note in the inside cover of the book wishing ME happy birthday…..again there is Mr. Bachchan but not there at all…..

 As I mentioned before volunteering for events at the bank was a done thing for me and I was known for being there at every opportunity so it was not surprising that a colleague asked me to be present to assist his team for a high profile event at the bank.  Yes, there I was being asked to escort Mrs. Jaya Bachchan to the event area. Oh, I forgot to mention here that a week before this event Abhishek Bachchan was shooting for Dhoom outside our bank walls. Of course I had to meet him and did get to him and mention that I was the other sister.  So here I am waiting and I decide to take a trip of my uptight sister and I call her and say I am going to tell Mrs. Bachchan that I am your sister to her banshee screaming and threats to disown me for a change. As I walk with Mrs. Bachchan, she very sweetly asks my name and yes I said it …I told her..... Later at dinner, my colleague shovea me in front of Mr. Bachchan to say “Mr. Bachchan I must introduce you to this very hardworking colleague ..blah blah…..” and we see Mrs. Bachchan nudging her husband to say “that’s D……’s sister” .  I can never forget those mesmerising eyes looking at me…. So there it was again, so near and yet so far….

It is 2012 and  Amitabh Bachchan is guest of honour at the 12th edition of River to River Florence Indian Film Festival in Italy and I am there screaming my heart out once again rushing to him and shoving a diary under his nose for an autograph (naughty me had pasted the birthday note on the page too) .....…Got it ….at last a photo in the same frame with him…. I have done it Mr. Bachchan….I have done it…..It took me so many years to get that one photo even though it is not the best one......but wait there is more……am I blessed or what?

February 2015, on the sets of Comedy Nights with Kapil Sharma deciding to behave like a good little girl for once, I am quietly watching the shoot of the Shamitabh film promotion episode unfold before me, until one girl gets up asking to dance with Mr. Bachchan. Somewhere another girl jumps and runs up ….and then another…. and another and yes, yes, I am also jumping onto that stage too…Mr. Bachchan sings to mere angaane mein  and when the song ends hugs each one of us one by one....…oh my, oh my!!! I almost fainted with joy…..I got a hug from Mr. Bachchan…....Mr. Bachchan hugged meeeeeeeeee….. yeah I did it…it happened......Janam safal hogaya ….at last …..at last….

...And that is a Bollywood grosser....

Often I wonder how a film should be judged as a success or not.  In my humble opinion today films whether they have content or not and run purely on personal likes for an actor/actress and the immense marketing strategies that make the viewer attracted towards it. Thereon making money is a done deal. That’s all that seems to matter in the long run for the makers.... and that is the definition of grosser today for me.

Belonging to an era where films were judged by the number of weeks they ran, and Silver Jubilee or Golden Jubilee were the words that announced the success of a film, compared to today where it is “x crores”. It is all about the top box office earners and it really does not matter whether the film is appreciated by the public or not. So who are the best judge on whether the film really is a hit or not. I suggest the makers who claim the crores should actually get into a local train and listen to the discussion the people have on the film trashing it from end to end if they have not been entertained enough. That’s where the truth of success lies, but that is not how it works, does it?  Once revenue from theatres is factored in it is immediately clear which film is the most successful notwithstanding the fact that the monies sometimes made are in just a week bringing in the crores by charging the public an exorbitant ticket price. Prices as high as Rs. 600 - Rs.1200 per ticket and well the public pours into the theatre even at that price because they want to see their favourite actor who can do no wrong. Some of them come out happy, some grumble searching for the lost amount under their seats. By then the film has done its deed, and the monies are made not forgetting huge amounts as satellite rights.

Just think of those stars in the 60s and 70s. Take the example of Rajendra Kumar who was considered as one of the most successful Indian Bollywood actors in the 1960s and had to struggle through 25 weeks of his film running to be declared Jubilee King. An interesting fact I read somewhere was that for the premier of one of his films, he was asked if he wanted any seats for his relatives or friends. Thinking that it would be complimentary, he asked for ten and believe it or not the money was deducted for the tickets he took for his relatives and friends from his cheque. Today which actor would allow this I wonder? Agreed times were different, but today is there any actor who can claim the title of “jubilee king” and besides 'blockbuster' or “silver jubilee” is a title not every successful film can enjoy and hence they remain just “box office grossers”.

Then there are those films that you can’t ignore. At a time when film budgets would never hit the grosser mark, Mughal-E-Azam was made at an unbelievable budget of Rs 1.5 crores and went on to gross much more. Then there is Sholay that ran for six years to a packed audience and then there was a Lagan that too ran to packed houses to a silver jubilee, which was a rarity in times when films did not run till the second week even. The key words here being ‘packed audiences’ Then here we have a Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge boasting of 20 years running in one theatre in the corner of Mumbai in a morning show making me wonder whether it is just there to make a milestone history or genuinely running to packed houses. Much as I loved the film, I am totally doubtful that it is making any money. I am guessing that the theatre owner is definitely personally in love with the movie or being paid to run it. Why otherwise? If someone explains to me, then I will fall in love with Raj and Simraan all over again. Till then I remain yours sceptical!!

Films actually are the most vibrant medium for telling stories and that’s what seems to have been a little lost today. There is a story line in the films but the masala and the heroism overpowers the story to such an extent that all you come out remembering is the violence, the chases, car blowing up and a song that might touch your heart.  The glamour and grandeur from Mughal-e-Azam to Jodha Akbar and Bajirao Mastani, however, has not changed much if you look closely and cannot be ignored too. We also have the women centric epics ranging from Mother India, Aandhi, Arth to a No one Killed Jessica, Mardani, Dirty Picture and a Mary Kom making their mark as do hero centric films like Bajrangi Bhaijaan, Bahubali, 3 Idiots, etc.

Not to forget the immense influence songs have on the audience in sometimes deciding the films they want to watch. Songs and dance are what sometimes also make and break the film almost determining the success. Few films without any songs and dances succeed but for the exceptional ones like Itefaq, Kanoon in the past to Bhoot and A Wednesday a few years did manage to stand ground. Even then today the audience seems to have lost its patience with songs and at the end of the movie a song that the makers probably spent large monies on screens to the audience leaving the theatre before it even ends. Then there are some unfortunate films with a promise ending up putting the viewers to sleep. Films like Jai Ho, Action Jackson, Bang Bang, Happy New Year turn out to be massive let downs, leaving you with moments that defy logic and sensibility but yet surprisingly have made the bucks just on star power like most films do today.  The confusion of “so is this also a grosser” just does not go away. It rings in your head because you just can’t understand or accept it because you just don’t get the point.

Setting the bar at 100 crores wasn't just enough before a new release crossed the mark to raise the bar to Rs. 200 crores and thereon to Rs. 300 crores. Gone are the days when films make way into the audience’s heart for its meaningful content and story line. Gone are the days when a film ran for more than two weeks in a theatre. Either you saw it or just had to wait for it to make its way on television once the film is sold to the TV channels for huge amounts as satellite right. It is all about the stars and the opulence that attracts the audience to the theatre and rest is a history of clambering for that “Bollywood grosser club” by the makers, as for the audience it is just one big mystery.

An art to master - local train travel

MumMirror page 1 story of December 16, 2015 “What a Choke” claims that majority of cases by suffocation resulting in attacks and seizures are triggered by travelling by locals. In an attempt to curb this Indian Railways has come up with a brilliant resolve. Now commuters can travel in long distance trains in peak hours. 

Got it, Great for the men-folk but what happens to us women and the result of which will be what, may I ask?  According to me it is simple. The Virar local behavior will become the new Dadar /Borivili behavior on WR/ CR side long distance trains too.  Holiday and long distance travellers get ready to give up your seats as there will be no reservation till local stations are crossed. Prepare to stand till then, share the 4th seat and for the "claim lavle la aahe" fun times on long distance trains... and those getting in long distance trains at Dadar /Borivili be ready for the tension of getting into the train and remember either keep your bags on your heads or around your neck….. and bless you if you get in without "what a choke".

Things have not changed have they?Friends often say ‘you toh must have never faced the rush we are facing?’  Do you really believe that during my times things must have been much easier. Let me share my woes of travelling in the local train to work in my times.

It has been the same since I travelled to work in the 70s right up to my office moving to BKC in 2000. I worked at Churchgate and lived in Andheri (the cardinal sin of living there according to the Virar-ites).  Dare I get into a Virar local to go home to my family (which presumably I was not allowed to worry about because it’s just Andheri around the corner and besides there were Andheri locals, na!). So what if they were at intervals of every 20 minutes. I was expected to wait patiently for the most comfortable ride home, according the the Virar-ites? (an after thought is I guess they were frustrated too). Which local I decided to take did not matter as before the train rolled into the station I too had to position myself to make that flying leap into the train to aim for the jackpot .....a window seat…..and if that jump did not make it in time then- a window seat?  Lucky me if I  landed a 4^th seat with 1/4^th of my backside balancing away digging my heels into the ground lest the jerk of the train threw me off that six inch area I had managed to plonk on. Andheri locals were meant for those who had the luxury of time and no inclination to fight their way through after all there were no fast trains in our times and very few if any for Andheri?

Well then that left me with the option of the Borivili local which would get me home faster. That required another kind of skill.  Did I need to position myself to jump in here too?  Definitely, if I wanted a seat and even more if I wanted to even stand on the side of the doors to be able to get out. More than often me and a friend would take this option of standing near the door and every day there would be bickering, hair in the nose, elbows hitting your head, shoulders crunched (now I know where I developed the spondylosis). One such evening a fight irrupted and standing near the doorway we hear threats of “I will throw you off the train” and my darling scared friend goes “aarey, do something or she will throw her off” to my don’t be silly she is going to do nothing of the sort. But she would not give up and elbowed her way through to save the girl and what she got was a lashing in return for interfering and I told you so from me.

Local trains are meant for cramped compartments, sweaty women, arguments, threats, venting anger, throwing weight around and even more than that, claiming seats. That swaying onto your shoulder while dozing or peeling vegetables are also part of the game, but that “me claim lavle-la aahe” was the worst kind of torture.  If you have managed a seat in the Borivili local, the ladies will dig you in the shoulder to ask where you are getting off, and mind you Andheri meant you had better get up one or two stations prior to get to the door. Then that dig would claim your seat and disappear in the crowd while you got fingers shoved into your face at every station asking where are you getting off. Here’s where you become the caretaker of the seat for that green dress-wali flash-by almost invisible lady you just saw a second. The moment you start to get up you are shoved back into your seat while the claim lady and lady near your feet fight over the seat you are leaving behind.

Of course the cardinal sin that I could commit is getting into a Virar local.  How dare I even think about it? Never mind if I have an emergency or I need to get home soon..no excuse is good enough.  I made that cardinal sin a number of times and got away, phew!! But one day standing on the foot board to the side not daring to sit as the train left Churchgate and  as it reached Dadar, I was questioned why? A gang of ladies pounced on me with a volley of “you have the Andheri trains then why do you get into Virar? Have you no brains” while I sheepishly say I want to reach home early to their mortification of is 10 mins more going to kill someone..and then it happened…”Bahut shyaani hai…tu bagh aata..aami tula utru denaar nahin...Eh tela Virar ghevun jaanar aata” (meaning I was being too smart and they would not allow me to get off and take me to Virar). Then the unbelievable happened. The durga in me of pent up emotions of local train trauma calmly, actually calmly, replied in chaste Marathi (by the way it is the language I’ve always loved) said “take me to Virar. I have never been to Virar. I will come home with you. Have a cup of tea and take a train back”…The laughter that erupted and the backslapping that happened is a memory that’s remained. Yes, they did allow me to get off.

For all those who think we ladies had a comfortable train travel home, let me tell you there was just one ladies compartment at the end of the train back then in and later on another one added in the middle of the train and then that one compartment at the end of the train was increased by half a compartment.  Do the math. Nothing has changed since then and nothing will as numbers of women working are increasing not the compartments.

It is an art that needs to be mastered and I did and I believe the women out there have mastered it too.   So I can only pray that all you women out there enjoy safe journeys each day ........and wish that you get into the local without "what a choke"...... and to you , the authorities responsible for this awesome, crushing and choking new hair brain ideas of ruining lives of families on a long journey train, all I can say is “what a joke”.

My friends, the change makers..giving hope!!

Opening newspaper in the morning is getting scarier by the day for most. Greed, protests, intolerance and acts of hatred, abetment to suicide, murder, molestation, missing paintings, confusing justice!  Forget natural calamity- that’s something we can’t do much about but just look at negative news, one after another, about insensitive humans being thrown at us. It's a very disturbing trend. Some of these headlines in the social space make you nauseous and wonder what’s happening to society and people around us.

Is there no good news to share anymore at all? Is there no Hope?  Things seem to be falling apart in everything around us. A few days back, I get a whats-app message that says “If you take into consideration all the signs, there is no mistaking that we are living our last days and its the end of time. Surrender to the Lord.".. but where is the Lord. I thought he resided in my heart- so what next? I hate negativity and often wonder why people share messages of doom instead of hope.

So I decided, I am going to take you on a walk into the realm of hope as there is a lot of it still out there. It is in fact, I realised, right next to me in my own little world. Call them by any fancy name - activists, leaders or change makers but for me they are just my friends who give selflessness and hope a whole new meaning altogether. Let me introduce you to some of my very own awesome change makers, I call friends.

RJ Anirudh Chawla, Big FM, who saved a life by landing up at a suicidal listener’s home after receiving a call and feeling uneasy about it. Prerana Langa, Yes Foundation, spreading the hope of social change and smiles through 'Yes I am the Change' films. Shivani Khetan who started Expresso Café with a simple thought and simple beginning of getting people to share their life experiences over a cup of coffee and coming forward to inspire others. 

Then there is my unassuming shy friend Dipesh Tank who found a woman lying covered in filth with burn injuries and helped her get back to a life of dignity. He undertakes school book drive for a village and runs to the rescue of citizens in need of help at the drop of a hat.  The dedicated Sailesh Mishra with his Silver Innings Foundation and a vision is to increase the involvement of senior citizens and enhance their dignity in the community apart from working relentlessly in the field of Dementia and Alzheimer. 

Then there is Indrani Ray (and a bit of me, too) of Arunima women’s forum to interact and exchange thoughts on issues concerning women in the Lokhandwala Complex area; Remila Puravankara, Taksheel Foundation, working to educate slum children and adults  in the age group of 5yrs to 40yrs coming from neighbouring areas of Lokhandwala Complex; Ramaa Subramaniam creator of Silver Innings Helpline, first of its kind one-stop portal for seniors & Pride Club;  Anita & Anand Gurnani of '50young' bringing new adventures and learning into lives of the 50+, Raheen JJ of NGO ‘Open your Arms' healing psycho-social problems faced by children; Bindu Bhonsle working for development of the less fortunate and in need; Sona Kumar of Sona Sarovar Trust improving the living condition in the rural areas through water conservation, employment, education, health, awareness; Sapna Bhavnani involved in women empowerment projects and working for the upliftment of women and children. 

There are so many more of my friends working for education, environment, girl child, etc. In fact in every field that we begin to think is eroding and losing hope. I can go on and on taking their names. Thankfully, even though the morning paper makes me wonder each day, I am really never depressed at all and neither have I lost hope at all because I am personally already walking the path with most of them  and blessed to be around them.  After all it is up to us, isn't it, to go out there and make good things happen around us. 

Besides, when push comes to shove and things seem dark, I know for sure that  there is loads of goodness in all of us and a wonderful group of my friends out there, happy to do the good deed. I know there is Hope and true caring people that deserve a big salute.

Be the beacon of light in someone's darkness....

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile

Compilation of my thoughts and random musings....

Compilation of thoughts and random musings of mine that I have posted on face book over time…………

v  God clearly says I have charted your life and the end of the road leads straight to me; but he has never said you can't choose your path or take a new road to change your destiny 

v  Nothing is permanent. Be prepared to be thrown off track anytime anywhere. The trick to survive is to grab whatever comes along and get on board and move on

v  All it takes is one good deed and then it’s just a burst of warmth in the heart

v  Love thyself first for a happy you is a good human being and friend for others around you

v  Nothing sentimental or heartwarming can be foolish. Besides that is what makes memories in your life time

v  Who said life does not give second chances... It just is not called chances but renamed to read as new opportunities!

v  Distance never breaks a friendship or a relationship and closeness not necessarily keep a friend. If feelings are mutual, true and honest then it is  always long lasting

v  Who knows better about things better than you? If you are satisfied then nothing matters.

v  When you are down and out and feeling lower than the floor, don't let anyone get you up. Dust off and stand up yourself.

v  His hands couldn’t move, His legs couldn’t too…But the smile on his face and laughter in his voice made up for the movement in his life

v   Divinity has no colour it’s just a mix of colour of love and compassion!

v   When you are able to listen and react without getting annoyed or losing your own confidence, it is only then that you can turn it into a wake up call for yourself. You might not like what you hear but it'll bring you back to reality.

v Out of the blue sometimes comes a new dawn with a new hope. Be ready to embrace its wonders and greet it.

Tolerance, Intolerance and Me

Tolerance ..... Intolerance...a never ending debate. So what is tolerance?It is just the willingness to tolerate those opinions or behavior that one just does not like or agree with. Do I have a right to talk about tolerance and intolerance when I myself first am unable to tolerate a lot of things and can’t tolerate some in my own home and surroundings forget as far as the things happening in the country….and yes it does disturb me when things happen in the country but let me just share my thoughts.

There is a long personal list of likes and dislikes or as we call it tolerance and intolerance now….I can’t tolerate the attitude of the women who claim we Andherites can’t travel in a Virar local.  I made the cardinal sin of getting into one and standing near the door and at Dadar became the target of intolerance.  I was threatened that Andheri would not be by destination and she promised to take me to Virar.  I don’t know what part of me rose to the occasion but all I did was say “No problem at all, take me to Virar. I will come home with you have a cup of tea and take a train back”...and the laughter that filled the air defused the situation. Not only was I patted on the back but respectfully allowed to get off at my destination……small mercies….

I can't tolerate the sound of the pigeon on my window each morning (need an air gun badly)....I can't tolerate hypocrites and discrimination....people wasting their precious time and talent......grumblers....the double parking in my Lokhandwala Complex (but who cares...and yes I tried ..but rule says if driver in car - can't be towed)....and hey am I not tolerating the sometimes utterly stupid things people in my life do... wet blankets are wet blankets no matter what.....and I even have actors, films I like and dislike ...So if I say I don’t like an actor, I am allowed to say so na without being bashed or pulled up for it!  I have been waiting for that actor to stop spreading his arms out to the sky leaning over to one side or going hmmm mmmmmm while my intolerance screams out Sholay ka famous dialogue "yeh haath mujhe de de thakur".  Everyone has a tolerance level within then, and well that’s just how much I can take from him. This is just one simple immediate thing that upsets me and aggravates me so what can I say about things larger than life that are happening? Yes, I can't tolerate a lot of things happening in my neighborhood, my workplace and of course our country too...

Do we really live in a society that allows us to do what we want our way and express our opinions freely. There are norms and guidelines that need to be followed at home, workplace, etc. much to my like or dislike.  Take the simple example above about the actor and I can tell you that I lost many a friends on that one joking comment. There are so many voices out there vehemently expressing their views and saying how can you say such a thing when the whole world swears by his talent. But hey, it is just that one thing I can’t tolerate. Did I say I don’t like all of his work or that all of his films don’t work for me? Matter closed and here starts my pent up intolerance and given one little opportunity I become the first vocal voice in that intolerance movement.  That according to me is just what is happening around us.  People who are unable to express their views freely and made to shut up are the ones that look for opportunities to express when an opportunity appears. The burst of pent up emotions and thoughts then flow faster than the largest river of India.  

Issues that can change the face of the earth, our surroundings and are for our good definitely need to be supported. Movements that don’t allow me to eat what I want, wear what I want, speak the way I want (so long as it is sensible) are not to be tolerated because they are our fundamental rights. Aren’t they? Then it becomes my choice to live with it or protest. We are a democracy and in a country with so many different cultures and so many different languages that it is quite impossible for all of us to walk the same path.

What is this about “how dare you criticize the country that has given you so much?” So am I just supposed to take everything that makes me uncomfortable sitting down. Rather a silly thought because everything in life is based on an individual thought or a personal experience and that is something that matters a lot.  It has nothing to do with what others feel but just if this experience or thought matches the mob, then need I say more. I have a right to my view and it is up to the other to accept or disregard it. On the other hand, I am of the strong opinion that people in power; people whose words matter, people who are looked up to have to be extra careful with their words. Of course, they have the right to feel hurt and angry but somewhere along the line, I feel, that is way past for them, as they now shoulder the responsibility of being mentors, and idols to many and every word they say matters.

Changes and improvements are necessary. I can't tolerate a lot of things happening in our country too. I just heard that Delhi plans to allow cars to ply on roads based on their numbers - odd and even- and on particular days only. Is that the solution of traffic control? Good thought but what if I have an emergency, what if I am going to work daily by car. Please don’t say car pool, as no one’s working hours match with another and people don’t have time to wait for one another after all everyone has to get home to children, etc.  How is it going to help? The smart ones will find a way around it. Stupid me also will buy one car with odd and one with even number. Problem solved or increased? So now if this is enforced in my city will I accept it? Will I grumble? Will I be tolerant or intolerant? I need to think seriously about it.

We, Women!

There are so many posts, tweets and so many discussions on what women want from their men, women equality at work, women empowerment, etc. etc. Well, I am a woman and when I got down to thinking what is it that really matters I realised that not much but a handful of things.

Alright, just maybe about a 1000 things starting with being the only important thing of a man’s life – yes, this is the most important part......also understanding, caring, have eyes only for me (very very important!!). Tall dark and handsome.... okay…maybe, but there is now an add-on to that phrase- ‘with 6 packs’- and why not? Don’t men look for the sexy, smart, tall and beautiful? Don’t forget romance, respect, time and commitment - that’s a big bonus.  Not to forget showing interest in our careers, likes and dislikes - that goes a long way. Remembering to say that we look good as often as possible, in fact every time you see me because we never forget!!! … if we are quiet don’t think you’ve won the war cause it’s just the storm whipping up….we will be angry and moody about many things, but stick around…and please don’t think our life rotates around you and we can’t live without you, because we just make you feel that way … For heaven’s sake better listen when we talk to you, we are not talking to the walls… Commitment and emotional connect, if you understand what I am saying!!!

On the other hand, give us space too for career, financial independence matters, even fun time with friends and most definitely self-worth. Remember juggling home and career is not a circus act easily done. Women have been living two lives for centuries. Generations ago, women worked at home looking after their families but today women (the stay-at-home moms) are also working out of their home. Of course, the children and husbands remain top priority and even do if the woman is working outside the home.  At, out of or outside really makes no difference to the woman. That’s what we women do admirably and will continue to do so. After all we are “super woman” and “super employee” rolled into one finding a way to balance a challenging career with family responsibilities. Pitch in if you can, and if you can’t just flow with it because there are countless things on our minds and we are chronic worriers on a tight rope. So, cut us a little leash!!!

And to all my women friends out there…. about those feelings of always having to make things work in a man’s world. There are and will be many who still think a man can do the job better than the woman. Don't let them ever get you down because you could either give up or just find a way to succeed.. and succeed you will because we get it right the first time around…It’s a never-ending tug of war that we are going to have to survive... After all who said it better than Helen Rowland “a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them”.

Besides all that inequality and discrimination between men and women are age-old never ending issues with many a forums, associations and movements….but today we are no longer apologetic, hesitant or ashamed to stand up for ourselves.Tears are no more our weapon and we are stronger today taking control of our own happiness …and let us not forget those gritty women we cross on a busy street, working at construction sites with babes tied to their backs, or at the hospitals, fish market or at malls who deserve a big round of applause too. You will never see them complain about the atrocities they suffer or about their meagre difficult lives as today they too are as empowered as any of us.

An anonymous quote says:

            Women really do rule the world and they have just figured it out yet. 
            When they do, and they will, we’re all in big big trouble.

Let me just rephrase it a bit:

          Women really do rule the world and they have just figured it out. 
          Now that they have and just did, everyone is in big big trouble 

6 outstanding women entrepreneurs share insights from their journey with existing & aspiring entrepreneurs

One day I hit upon an interesting face book page “50young” and  knew it was just meant for me. Sure enough it turned out to be a platform for 50+ and raring to go women just like me….and the focus of the group? It simply focuses on productive, progressive and empowering activities, conferences, forums and groups offline and online.  

Founder Anita Gurnani and her co-founder son Anand has opened up a world of learning and interaction for me and the 50+. It did not surprise me when I learnt that Anand started his first venture when he was 15 and today best known for his persistent evangelism of the Indian Animation Industry in India and Internationally.  Anita on the other hand is the wonderful connect who has over the past months connecting women like myself to women like myself with unique and innovative programs like workshops, walks in the morning for good health and even a smart phone training classes, etc.

Networking and interacting with others in itself a big motivator and even more when you hear stories of entrepreneur achievements. 19^th November was one such motivating day. 50young organised an Entrepreneurship Forum and unleashed motivation par excellence with six outstanding women entrepreneurs sharing insights from their journey with existing and aspiring entrepreneurs. Let me share with you a bit about and nuggets from each of the speakers.

Dr. Suju George of "OR organic living" worked in a corporate until she found her calling. The fields of her hometown in Kerala beckoned her and she turned an idea into a reality of bringing organic food to the doorstep. Having spent her childhood there, she realised that farming was somewhere deep inside her and today she is striving to bring home grown vegetables free from pesticides, etc. to our homes. On starting a business in the golden years, she says "for me at 60+ the risk taking capability is very high. Nothing to lose, only Dare, Dare to win". Suju shared her thoughts about manifesting an idea into a business reality the dos and don’ts of starting a business and the importance of learning to brand your products, creating its identity and most importantly the legal aspects to be taken care of when moving from home business to enterprise with all the women entrepreneurs

On the other hand, here was Suman Srivastava a maverick soul who grew up in an affluent family but turned to social work and today has helps treat over 20,000 people annually free of cost. For her it's not about the money. She says "it's so easy to know others but very difficult to know ourselves". She remembers how she felt the first time she sat down on the floor amongst the needy and how she felt when the layer of dirt and grease covered her finger as she went on to treat them for their pains. While sharing her extraordinary journey and thoughts on the many kinds of entrepreneurship and how to scale up your start up, she joked that she considers herself a quack but in fact she is indeed an extraordinary woman with a purpose. She is the founder Director of Healing Touch Research Centre working in Health Care, Education, and for the betterment of Senior Citizens. She has organised medical camps, national conferences on health, nutrition, education, science development and even climate change. A trained expert on Marma Vacuum which is a therapy that works with 108 points in the body to open up energy channels, she continues to serve and help eradicate pain of others.

And then there was the extraordinary full of life and humorous, Kalpana Talpade, the woman chef behind Kalpana's Kitchen. Kalpana spoke about following your passion and doing what you love and brought a smile to each of our faces as she shared her journey from working in an office to pushing herself into competing with the men folk to learn programming and computer technology to starting Kalpana’s Kitchen.  Her determination to learn and excel is what has helped her today to record, edit and load her own videos all on her own.  What started out as a video for her family is now a YouTube sensation with over 3000 subscribers and is probably the best place to find homemade food recipes from deserts to snacks to dinner. Kalpana shares new recipe videos every Tuesday and Fridays as also handy hints & tips also on how to improve your culinary skills.

Milestones & Insights in my 20 year Journey as entrepreneur with Neelam Sethi of 'tinSelwinkel' boutique with the catch line 'from fabric to finish' learnt her craft in Amsterdam. She realised that she had time on her hands after her kids grew up and  decided to put her learning and talent to use in a professional way. Her friends always waited to see what she wore for she claims every outing deserved a new outfit which she cut and sew one day prior and wore.  Starting off small, her amazing sense of colours and fabric today has kept her connected with her over 1200 loyal clients. The loyalty of the people who are working with her since inception is a reflection of her caring for them and she on her part spreads the joy by taking them on an annual picnic or 5 star outing. She explores the world of fashion in a unique way and it was an inspiring to hear what talent hidden in the boundaries of the home can do.

Out of the confines of the home came another home grown entrepreneur - Nafisa Kapadia of the Bohri Kitchen fame. Here was another amazing story of entrepreneurship success. Opening her home to an event experience in home cooked food, Nafisa shared the joy she brings to her guests. This community meal venture is run out of her home at Colaba where authentic Muslim meals are served in the traditional thaal to groups of guests. Nafisa cooks the meals herself and is a generous host who gives away goody bags too - now that’s what I liked! What was heart warming to hear was that the individuals around that thaal at the end of the meal become friends for life after sharing and exchange thoughts over the two hour meal. Staying unique and original is the mantra according to her and most importantly  personalizing consumer experience

The last speaker, Mona Doctor of The Integral Space questioned and challenged us to think who area and we where are we. According to her Individuality is undivided in thoughts words and action. Returning to the Journey of balance is what she spoke about. Her own life story full of challenges today has her opening her heart to holistic and integrative health, creative expression, artistic exploration, and personal transformation at her initiative -The Integral Space. Mona shared simple tools to making our life for peaceful, focused and purposeful. The best tip she shared for calming oneself including insomnia is humming to yourself just as a baby does when you are rocking him to sleep and most importantly “learn for the sake of learning without expectation”

It was a learning experience and as Anita and Anand rightly summarised, “The 50Young Women's Entrepreneurship Forum was an empowering experience for all those who took part and for the organizers as well. It was Inspiring, it was academic; it was professional, relevant, full of witty repartee and uniquely humorous. 

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