Cooking.... The LAZY way out!

After a long long time, I got into a local train and memories came rushing back as I stood there looking at the harrowed and tired face of women rushing back from work.  A sudden feeling of déjà vu and I went back thirty five years ago to those days when I jumped into the local at Churchgate to get a seat. Life is not easy when you are working and I know this because for years I too rushed home to manage the kitchen and bring up my two devils. It was a whirlwind life and believe me when I say that even then we were crushed like sardines in a tin in the locals. 

Planning the menu in the head whilst travelling and grabbing on to the handle in a jam packed fast train to deciding the stuff to buy as soon as I get off the train. Did that help? or was I just too jealous of those women sitting in the train peeling green peas and breaking the beans into smaller pieces. That was indeed the way to go but then I needed a seat in the train for that, right!!!  That most awful time of running home to make a load full of dough for the rotis for my in-laws family of eight.  Just forty odd ones too.... Oh yes, I would be the one to reach home first most times so always got started with the help of my mom-in-law. That phase lasted for many years till we decided to hire a cook... and when I moved to my place it was the saviour - the bread.. and why not, after all I was a parsi and parsis ate bread and always had the eggs handy. Eggs, my utmost favorite comfort food till date, so easy to cook up.  I remember a friend at work asking me one day why do we put eggs on everything from bheenda par edu, to tomato par edu, to saali par edu and he got a rap on his knuckles for being cheeky enough to ask whether we put egg on our dal and curry too !!!  Oh yes, I love those instant products available today.  The non-veg and veg instant mixes available in easy packs. The delicious chicken/mutton masala mixes - chettinad, malai, butter, moghalai, tandoori - .name it and its available and the same masala works beautifully for vegetables too... After all it is just a marketing strategy to say non-veg and veg because it becomes non-veg only when the non-veg is added...ha ha ha.... Love it even today ! Just 10 minutes of defrosting and mixed up with my meat and popped into the cooker.

It wasn't that easy when I was a kid though... I still remember all those Sundays when Mom slaved in the kitchen making those masalas, storing garlic and ginger paste, storing the curry masala and even fried onions. Those many weekend masala grinding childhood days when Mom would sit us down to peel the garlic and slice onions in what seemed like kilos and never-ending.  That going to the bazaar to get the stuff for the week and then washing it all to make smaller packs of the meats and freezing it.  Then there were those days when I stared at those crabs trying to crawl out of the vessel and I actually volunteered to wash fish. Many still do that till date but it is all about to each her own. 

And then there is nothing wrong with innovating with leftovers by just adding tomato puree and making it a gravy dish with rice or making your own jhatpat “bhajias” out of left over vegetables and plonking them into tomato/onion puree or even kneading them up in the dough. That worked for me… these shortcuts did.  Rice was meant to be left over to turn into delicious pakodas with tea the next day. Till today I deliberately ensure that rice is left over to be dunked into loads of curd and made into pakodas!

Do I love to cook you may ask and do I? Well, as a kid I did go to baking classes and my younger sister still remembers the aroma of breads and cheese straws baking in the oven.  I love baking and do that off and on, but not much of cooking because when your daughter takes over the kitchen and feeds you with "FOOD" the way it is meant to be, then there is no need for shortcuts, is there??

#LetsWalk, an initiative to promote health and fitness

An invitation to participate in a beach walk to promote health is honestly something I never saw myself agree to doing. #LetsWalk - Beach Walk, the initiative "your health in your hands" to promote health and fitness got me out of bed on September 2nd, that too on a Sunday; the day I refuse to get up early.  I landed up at Juhu Beach and found myself  enjoying a great morning at the beach and even more so because I found myself screaming out in joy. Everywhere I turned, I found a friend was there too and that was truly uplifting and awesome. 

The walk was organised by Moushumi Pal founder of Woodpecker Media, a consulting company catering to conceptualised events, transformational digital marketing strategies and creative brand design and Dr. Bhavi Mody, a postgraduate with over two decades of clinical experience in providing Holistic Healing and Founder and Director at Vrudhi Holistic Health Care. The event had a participation of over 150 health enthusiasts, started with a round of Yoga (me and yoga. Wow! I did that too), was followed by a 2 km walk on the beach. Fun childhood games such as tug-of-war, passing the parcel and thumbs-up that we have all played as children were a part of the event to bring back that magic into their lives.

I love to interview people and talk to them about their initiatives. so it was obvious that I found myself interviewing these wonderful ladies live on face book. Talking to me about the initiative, Moushumi said "We want to touch lives. We want inclusion. What Dr. Bhavi Mody advocates is making things very simple to follow, like eat less, sleep less, breathe well, things we forget in mundane routine of today's life styles we have. Then gradually I started thinking how can we make it more engaging and that's is why we thought of organising the first walk. We wanted everyone from all walks of life to come out in the fresh air. We want to do it at different locations now. First one was a nature walk and this our second one which is the beach walk."

Dr. Bhavi Mody adds, "This initiative is to help you stress on little changes that you can get into your everyday life to make your life more healthy. Mission #StayHealthyStayHappy is what we believe in. We started out in December last year. As Moushumi mentioned, the first walk that happened was a nature walk at Sanjay Gandhi National Park and today we are on the beach. Next who knows where. Maybe the mountains".

The first walk organised by them was on June 3, 2018. It was an educational 2 km walk around Borivali National Park and I must admit  even though I was invited to that one too, I was just too lazy to get out of bed. What I missed was an opportunity to learn about various species of flora and fauna along with the environmentalists there and more importantly an opportunity to click loads of photos (which is my passion).  I am never missing another walk ever again for sure.

At the end of the walk the participants were given refreshments and goody bags. Each one of us had been given a T-shirt too before the walk.  Eminent power women such as Pinky Rajgharhia (Mrs Universe Business lady 2017, Mrs Asia 2017, Mrs Fitness 2016, Social Activist), Gehna Mehra (Writer & Entrepreneur), Nabomita Mazumdar (Businesswoman  and Speaker for Future of Work, HR, Startup, Women and Business, Social media and Technology), Nidhika Bahl (Celebrity Life Coach), Savneet Kaur  (Vice Chair,  ALL) and Daulatbi Khan (Acid Survivors Saahas Foundation) participated in the walk to support the initiative.

I must admit that I am not much of a health freak,  but the walk did not help me to realise the value of being outdoors. I realised that morning, that I had also bonded and shared so much more with my friends there and even though I could not walk for long (I have painful knees, you see), it was lovely to be out breathing in the fresh air. A big thank you to Moushumi for inviting me to join and cheers to you and your team mates, Ridhi Doshi and Sonu Bajaj for a well organised event.  

I can happily say that the event was not just  #LetsWalk but a lovely #FriendshipWalk for me and that I am looking forward to the next one too.

Connect on FB page for joining the next walk: 

www.facebook.com/groups/vrudhihwc

An art to master - local train travel

MumMirror page 1 story of December 16, 2015 “What a Choke” claims that majority of cases by suffocation resulting in attacks and seizures are triggered by travelling by locals. In an attempt to curb this Indian Railways has come up with a brilliant resolve. Now commuters can travel in long distance trains in peak hours. 

Got it, Great for the men-folk but what happens to us women and the result of which will be what, may I ask?  According to me it is simple. The Virar local behavior will become the new Dadar /Borivili behavior on WR/ CR side long distance trains too.  Holiday and long distance travellers get ready to give up your seats as there will be no reservation till local stations are crossed. Prepare to stand till then, share the 4th seat and for the "claim lavle la aahe" fun times on long distance trains... and those getting in long distance trains at Dadar /Borivili be ready for the tension of getting into the train and remember either keep your bags on your heads or around your neck….. and bless you if you get in without "what a choke".

Things have not changed have they?Friends often say ‘you toh must have never faced the rush we are facing?’  Do you really believe that during my times things must have been much easier. Let me share my woes of travelling in the local train to work in my times.

It has been the same since I travelled to work in the 70s right up to my office moving to BKC in 2000. I worked at Churchgate and lived in Andheri (the cardinal sin of living there according to the Virar-ites).  Dare I get into a Virar local to go home to my family (which presumably I was not allowed to worry about because it’s just Andheri around the corner and besides there were Andheri locals, na!). So what if they were at intervals of every 20 minutes. I was expected to wait patiently for the most comfortable ride home, according the the Virar-ites? (an after thought is I guess they were frustrated too). Which local I decided to take did not matter as before the train rolled into the station I too had to position myself to make that flying leap into the train to aim for the jackpot .....a window seat…..and if that jump did not make it in time then- a window seat?  Lucky me if I  landed a 4^th seat with 1/4^th of my backside balancing away digging my heels into the ground lest the jerk of the train threw me off that six inch area I had managed to plonk on. Andheri locals were meant for those who had the luxury of time and no inclination to fight their way through after all there were no fast trains in our times and very few if any for Andheri?

Well then that left me with the option of the Borivili local which would get me home faster. That required another kind of skill.  Did I need to position myself to jump in here too?  Definitely, if I wanted a seat and even more if I wanted to even stand on the side of the doors to be able to get out. More than often me and a friend would take this option of standing near the door and every day there would be bickering, hair in the nose, elbows hitting your head, shoulders crunched (now I know where I developed the spondylosis). One such evening a fight irrupted and standing near the doorway we hear threats of “I will throw you off the train” and my darling scared friend goes “aarey, do something or she will throw her off” to my don’t be silly she is going to do nothing of the sort. But she would not give up and elbowed her way through to save the girl and what she got was a lashing in return for interfering and I told you so from me.

Local trains are meant for cramped compartments, sweaty women, arguments, threats, venting anger, throwing weight around and even more than that, claiming seats. That swaying onto your shoulder while dozing or peeling vegetables are also part of the game, but that “me claim lavle-la aahe” was the worst kind of torture.  If you have managed a seat in the Borivili local, the ladies will dig you in the shoulder to ask where you are getting off, and mind you Andheri meant you had better get up one or two stations prior to get to the door. Then that dig would claim your seat and disappear in the crowd while you got fingers shoved into your face at every station asking where are you getting off. Here’s where you become the caretaker of the seat for that green dress-wali flash-by almost invisible lady you just saw a second. The moment you start to get up you are shoved back into your seat while the claim lady and lady near your feet fight over the seat you are leaving behind.

Of course the cardinal sin that I could commit is getting into a Virar local.  How dare I even think about it? Never mind if I have an emergency or I need to get home soon..no excuse is good enough.  I made that cardinal sin a number of times and got away, phew!! But one day standing on the foot board to the side not daring to sit as the train left Churchgate and  as it reached Dadar, I was questioned why? A gang of ladies pounced on me with a volley of “you have the Andheri trains then why do you get into Virar? Have you no brains” while I sheepishly say I want to reach home early to their mortification of is 10 mins more going to kill someone..and then it happened…”Bahut shyaani hai…tu bagh aata..aami tula utru denaar nahin...Eh tela Virar ghevun jaanar aata” (meaning I was being too smart and they would not allow me to get off and take me to Virar). Then the unbelievable happened. The durga in me of pent up emotions of local train trauma calmly, actually calmly, replied in chaste Marathi (by the way it is the language I’ve always loved) said “take me to Virar. I have never been to Virar. I will come home with you. Have a cup of tea and take a train back”…The laughter that erupted and the backslapping that happened is a memory that’s remained. Yes, they did allow me to get off.

For all those who think we ladies had a comfortable train travel home, let me tell you there was just one ladies compartment at the end of the train back then in and later on another one added in the middle of the train and then that one compartment at the end of the train was increased by half a compartment.  Do the math. Nothing has changed since then and nothing will as numbers of women working are increasing not the compartments.

It is an art that needs to be mastered and I did and I believe the women out there have mastered it too.   So I can only pray that all you women out there enjoy safe journeys each day ........and wish that you get into the local without "what a choke"...... and to you , the authorities responsible for this awesome, crushing and choking new hair brain ideas of ruining lives of families on a long journey train, all I can say is “what a joke”.

We, Women!

There are so many posts, tweets and so many discussions on what women want from their men, women equality at work, women empowerment, etc. etc. Well, I am a woman and when I got down to thinking what is it that really matters I realised that not much but a handful of things.

Alright, just maybe about a 1000 things starting with being the only important thing of a man’s life – yes, this is the most important part......also understanding, caring, have eyes only for me (very very important!!). Tall dark and handsome.... okay…maybe, but there is now an add-on to that phrase- ‘with 6 packs’- and why not? Don’t men look for the sexy, smart, tall and beautiful? Don’t forget romance, respect, time and commitment - that’s a big bonus.  Not to forget showing interest in our careers, likes and dislikes - that goes a long way. Remembering to say that we look good as often as possible, in fact every time you see me because we never forget!!! … if we are quiet don’t think you’ve won the war cause it’s just the storm whipping up….we will be angry and moody about many things, but stick around…and please don’t think our life rotates around you and we can’t live without you, because we just make you feel that way … For heaven’s sake better listen when we talk to you, we are not talking to the walls… Commitment and emotional connect, if you understand what I am saying!!!

On the other hand, give us space too for career, financial independence matters, even fun time with friends and most definitely self-worth. Remember juggling home and career is not a circus act easily done. Women have been living two lives for centuries. Generations ago, women worked at home looking after their families but today women (the stay-at-home moms) are also working out of their home. Of course, the children and husbands remain top priority and even do if the woman is working outside the home.  At, out of or outside really makes no difference to the woman. That’s what we women do admirably and will continue to do so. After all we are “super woman” and “super employee” rolled into one finding a way to balance a challenging career with family responsibilities. Pitch in if you can, and if you can’t just flow with it because there are countless things on our minds and we are chronic worriers on a tight rope. So, cut us a little leash!!!

And to all my women friends out there…. about those feelings of always having to make things work in a man’s world. There are and will be many who still think a man can do the job better than the woman. Don't let them ever get you down because you could either give up or just find a way to succeed.. and succeed you will because we get it right the first time around…It’s a never-ending tug of war that we are going to have to survive... After all who said it better than Helen Rowland “a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them”.

Besides all that inequality and discrimination between men and women are age-old never ending issues with many a forums, associations and movements….but today we are no longer apologetic, hesitant or ashamed to stand up for ourselves.Tears are no more our weapon and we are stronger today taking control of our own happiness …and let us not forget those gritty women we cross on a busy street, working at construction sites with babes tied to their backs, or at the hospitals, fish market or at malls who deserve a big round of applause too. You will never see them complain about the atrocities they suffer or about their meagre difficult lives as today they too are as empowered as any of us.

An anonymous quote says:

            Women really do rule the world and they have just figured it out yet. 
            When they do, and they will, we’re all in big big trouble.

Let me just rephrase it a bit:

          Women really do rule the world and they have just figured it out. 
          Now that they have and just did, everyone is in big big trouble 

6 outstanding women entrepreneurs share insights from their journey with existing & aspiring entrepreneurs

One day I hit upon an interesting face book page “50young” and  knew it was just meant for me. Sure enough it turned out to be a platform for 50+ and raring to go women just like me….and the focus of the group? It simply focuses on productive, progressive and empowering activities, conferences, forums and groups offline and online.  

Founder Anita Gurnani and her co-founder son Anand has opened up a world of learning and interaction for me and the 50+. It did not surprise me when I learnt that Anand started his first venture when he was 15 and today best known for his persistent evangelism of the Indian Animation Industry in India and Internationally.  Anita on the other hand is the wonderful connect who has over the past months connecting women like myself to women like myself with unique and innovative programs like workshops, walks in the morning for good health and even a smart phone training classes, etc.

Networking and interacting with others in itself a big motivator and even more when you hear stories of entrepreneur achievements. 19^th November was one such motivating day. 50young organised an Entrepreneurship Forum and unleashed motivation par excellence with six outstanding women entrepreneurs sharing insights from their journey with existing and aspiring entrepreneurs. Let me share with you a bit about and nuggets from each of the speakers.

Dr. Suju George of "OR organic living" worked in a corporate until she found her calling. The fields of her hometown in Kerala beckoned her and she turned an idea into a reality of bringing organic food to the doorstep. Having spent her childhood there, she realised that farming was somewhere deep inside her and today she is striving to bring home grown vegetables free from pesticides, etc. to our homes. On starting a business in the golden years, she says "for me at 60+ the risk taking capability is very high. Nothing to lose, only Dare, Dare to win". Suju shared her thoughts about manifesting an idea into a business reality the dos and don’ts of starting a business and the importance of learning to brand your products, creating its identity and most importantly the legal aspects to be taken care of when moving from home business to enterprise with all the women entrepreneurs

On the other hand, here was Suman Srivastava a maverick soul who grew up in an affluent family but turned to social work and today has helps treat over 20,000 people annually free of cost. For her it's not about the money. She says "it's so easy to know others but very difficult to know ourselves". She remembers how she felt the first time she sat down on the floor amongst the needy and how she felt when the layer of dirt and grease covered her finger as she went on to treat them for their pains. While sharing her extraordinary journey and thoughts on the many kinds of entrepreneurship and how to scale up your start up, she joked that she considers herself a quack but in fact she is indeed an extraordinary woman with a purpose. She is the founder Director of Healing Touch Research Centre working in Health Care, Education, and for the betterment of Senior Citizens. She has organised medical camps, national conferences on health, nutrition, education, science development and even climate change. A trained expert on Marma Vacuum which is a therapy that works with 108 points in the body to open up energy channels, she continues to serve and help eradicate pain of others.

And then there was the extraordinary full of life and humorous, Kalpana Talpade, the woman chef behind Kalpana's Kitchen. Kalpana spoke about following your passion and doing what you love and brought a smile to each of our faces as she shared her journey from working in an office to pushing herself into competing with the men folk to learn programming and computer technology to starting Kalpana’s Kitchen.  Her determination to learn and excel is what has helped her today to record, edit and load her own videos all on her own.  What started out as a video for her family is now a YouTube sensation with over 3000 subscribers and is probably the best place to find homemade food recipes from deserts to snacks to dinner. Kalpana shares new recipe videos every Tuesday and Fridays as also handy hints & tips also on how to improve your culinary skills.

Milestones & Insights in my 20 year Journey as entrepreneur with Neelam Sethi of 'tinSelwinkel' boutique with the catch line 'from fabric to finish' learnt her craft in Amsterdam. She realised that she had time on her hands after her kids grew up and  decided to put her learning and talent to use in a professional way. Her friends always waited to see what she wore for she claims every outing deserved a new outfit which she cut and sew one day prior and wore.  Starting off small, her amazing sense of colours and fabric today has kept her connected with her over 1200 loyal clients. The loyalty of the people who are working with her since inception is a reflection of her caring for them and she on her part spreads the joy by taking them on an annual picnic or 5 star outing. She explores the world of fashion in a unique way and it was an inspiring to hear what talent hidden in the boundaries of the home can do.

Out of the confines of the home came another home grown entrepreneur - Nafisa Kapadia of the Bohri Kitchen fame. Here was another amazing story of entrepreneurship success. Opening her home to an event experience in home cooked food, Nafisa shared the joy she brings to her guests. This community meal venture is run out of her home at Colaba where authentic Muslim meals are served in the traditional thaal to groups of guests. Nafisa cooks the meals herself and is a generous host who gives away goody bags too - now that’s what I liked! What was heart warming to hear was that the individuals around that thaal at the end of the meal become friends for life after sharing and exchange thoughts over the two hour meal. Staying unique and original is the mantra according to her and most importantly  personalizing consumer experience

The last speaker, Mona Doctor of The Integral Space questioned and challenged us to think who area and we where are we. According to her Individuality is undivided in thoughts words and action. Returning to the Journey of balance is what she spoke about. Her own life story full of challenges today has her opening her heart to holistic and integrative health, creative expression, artistic exploration, and personal transformation at her initiative -The Integral Space. Mona shared simple tools to making our life for peaceful, focused and purposeful. The best tip she shared for calming oneself including insomnia is humming to yourself just as a baby does when you are rocking him to sleep and most importantly “learn for the sake of learning without expectation”

It was a learning experience and as Anita and Anand rightly summarised, “The 50Young Women's Entrepreneurship Forum was an empowering experience for all those who took part and for the organizers as well. It was Inspiring, it was academic; it was professional, relevant, full of witty repartee and uniquely humorous. 

Join the facebook page 

I DRIVE..AND I AM A WOMAN ..............

When a friend mentioned to me the other day that he can’t stand women drivers, it got me thinking.  A few years ago, very rarely would the male counterpart allow women to touch their precious cars. It was clearly a defined honour to sit next to them while they drove.  I remember my dad landing in hospital with a stroke. Mom said he would never drive our  car again.  I always loved that old Morris car of ours with its leafy green colour, black cute fenders, and brown seat covers. I remember the number too MRZ 1660. For so many years, I had begged dad’s permission to drive the car and now I was actually being told to learn driving.  Twenty days later I was a certified driver and proudly walked into the hospital and stuck the licence under dad’s nose.  Two days later, dad was back behind the wheel, driving an angry me.  One day he relented and early morning we drove out to an unused road, with me on the wheel and continuous grilling on which gear to use and when to brake by  of course ,dad. That did it, I was not going to ask dad for the car anymore, and who was happier? naturally him. The licence lay in my cupboard for years, my first and last ambition seething in my heart, a car of my own. One day, many years after marriage, we bought our first car.  I was queen at last of my dream and refused to let my husband drive me around as he grumbled many a years away.

I had proved all the men in my life wrong, I was good and real good.  I was the safest person to have on the road. Never mind that at times, I use hand signals instead of using the indicators, drove at a tortoise pace occasionally, admired the scenery on the way, decided dinner menus in my head, causing blood pressure to drivers behind me always, never looking left or right.  So what if I was always singing whilst driving or enjoying the rain pouring in. And did I talk to myself, of course I did that too!! 

But no one ever knew the real me. No way, for if the road was empty then I would speed faster than any race driver.  I sing louder than ever, maneuvering like a maniac, raise a fist at cab drivers, never understanding why they cruise in the middle of the road always. And what can I say about the male counterpart talking into their mobiles, flicking their locks, admiring their faces in the rear mirror until they spot me, a woman driver behind.  Well! Then suddenly it’s a clash of titans, for suddenly the male counterpart breaks out of his slumber, drops his mobile, drops a few four letter words, steps on the gas and whizzes past content on having outdone “the woman”.   It’s another thing that as soon as he slumbers again, I have zipped past a shocked face never to be caught again on the wrong foot. 

Besides who said speed and control belongs to the males?  Women have known to conquer space and rule the world – then who dare question us the Jhansi Ki Ranis, on the road. We just let them be happy, because that very same insufferable out there will have to go come home at the end of the day to bow to the real master, the women in their homes..