Wednesday, 16 December 2015

An art to master - local train travel

MumMirror page 1 story of December 16, 2015 “What a Choke” claims that majority of cases by suffocation resulting in attacks and seizures are triggered by travelling by locals. In an attempt to curb this Indian Railways has come up with a brilliant resolve. Now commuters can travel in long distance trains in peak hours. 

Got it, Great for the men-folk but what happens to us women and the result of which will be what, may I ask?  According to me it is simple. The Virar local behavior will become the new Dadar /Borivili behavior on WR/ CR side long distance trains too.  Holiday and long distance travellers get ready to give up your seats as there will be no reservation till local stations are crossed. Prepare to stand till then, share the 4th seat and for the "claim lavle la aahe" fun times on long distance trains... and those getting in long distance trains at Dadar /Borivili be ready for the tension of getting into the train and remember either keep your bags on your heads or around your neck….. and bless you if you get in without "what a choke".

Things have not changed have they?Friends often say ‘you toh must have never faced the rush we are facing?’  Do you really believe that during my times things must have been much easier. Let me share my woes of travelling in the local train to work in my times.

It has been the same since I travelled to work in the 70s right up to my office moving to BKC in 2000. I worked at Churchgate and lived in Andheri (the cardinal sin of living there according to the Virar-ites).  Dare I get into a Virar local to go home to my family (which presumably I was not allowed to worry about because it’s just Andheri around the corner and besides there were Andheri locals, na!). So what if they were at intervals of every 20 minutes. I was expected to wait patiently for the most comfortable ride home, according the the Virar-ites? (an after thought is I guess they were frustrated too). Which local I decided to take did not matter as before the train rolled into the station I too had to position myself to make that flying leap into the train to aim for the jackpot .....a window seat…..and if that jump did not make it in time then- a window seat?  Lucky me if I  landed a 4th seat with 1/4th of my backside balancing away digging my heels into the ground lest the jerk of the train threw me off that six inch area I had managed to plonk on. Andheri locals were meant for those who had the luxury of time and no inclination to fight their way through after all there were no fast trains in our times and very few if any for Andheri?

Well then that left me with the option of the Borivili local which would get me home faster. That required another kind of skill.  Did I need to position myself to jump in here too?  Definitely, if I wanted a seat and even more if I wanted to even stand on the side of the doors to be able to get out. More than often me and a friend would take this option of standing near the door and every day there would be bickering, hair in the nose, elbows hitting your head, shoulders crunched (now I know where I developed the spondylosis). One such evening a fight irrupted and standing near the doorway we hear threats of “I will throw you off the train” and my darling scared friend goes “aarey, do something or she will throw her off” to my don’t be silly she is going to do nothing of the sort. But she would not give up and elbowed her way through to save the girl and what she got was a lashing in return for interfering and I told you so from me.

Local trains are meant for cramped compartments, sweaty women, arguments, threats, venting anger, throwing weight around and even more than that, claiming seats. That swaying onto your shoulder while dozing or peeling vegetables are also part of the game, but that “me claim lavle-la aahe” was the worst kind of torture.  If you have managed a seat in the Borivili local, the ladies will dig you in the shoulder to ask where you are getting off, and mind you Andheri meant you had better get up one or two stations prior to get to the door. Then that dig would claim your seat and disappear in the crowd while you got fingers shoved into your face at every station asking where are you getting off. Here’s where you become the caretaker of the seat for that green dress-wali flash-by almost invisible lady you just saw a second. The moment you start to get up you are shoved back into your seat while the claim lady and lady near your feet fight over the seat you are leaving behind.

Of course the cardinal sin that I could commit is getting into a Virar local.  How dare I even think about it? Never mind if I have an emergency or I need to get home soon..no excuse is good enough.  I made that cardinal sin a number of times and got away, phew!! But one day standing on the foot board to the side not daring to sit as the train left Churchgate and  as it reached Dadar, I was questioned why? A gang of ladies pounced on me with a volley of “you have the Andheri trains then why do you get into Virar? Have you no brains” while I sheepishly say I want to reach home early to their mortification of is 10 mins more going to kill someone..and then it happened…”Bahut shyaani hai…tu bagh aata..aami tula utru denaar nahin...Eh tela Virar ghevun jaanar aata” (meaning I was being too smart and they would not allow me to get off and take me to Virar). Then the unbelievable happened. The durga in me of pent up emotions of local train trauma calmly, actually calmly, replied in chaste Marathi (by the way it is the language I’ve always loved) said “take me to Virar. I have never been to Virar. I will come home with you. Have a cup of tea and take a train back”…The laughter that erupted and the backslapping that happened is a memory that’s remained. Yes, they did allow me to get off.

For all those who think we ladies had a comfortable train travel home, let me tell you there was just one ladies compartment at the end of the train back then in and later on another one added in the middle of the train and then that one compartment at the end of the train was increased by half a compartment.  Do the math. Nothing has changed since then and nothing will as numbers of women working are increasing not the compartments.

It is an art that needs to be mastered and I did and I believe the women out there have mastered it too.   So I can only pray that all you women out there enjoy safe journeys each day ........and wish that you get into the local without "what a choke"...... and to you , the authorities responsible for this awesome, crushing and choking new hair brain ideas of ruining lives of families on a long journey train, all I can say is “what a joke”.


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