Tolerance, Intolerance and Me

Tolerance ..... Intolerance...a never ending debate. So what is tolerance?It is just the willingness to tolerate those opinions or behavior that one just does not like or agree with. Do I have a right to talk about tolerance and intolerance when I myself first am unable to tolerate a lot of things and can’t tolerate some in my own home and surroundings forget as far as the things happening in the country….and yes it does disturb me when things happen in the country but let me just share my thoughts.

There is a long personal list of likes and dislikes or as we call it tolerance and intolerance now….I can’t tolerate the attitude of the women who claim we Andherites can’t travel in a Virar local.  I made the cardinal sin of getting into one and standing near the door and at Dadar became the target of intolerance.  I was threatened that Andheri would not be by destination and she promised to take me to Virar.  I don’t know what part of me rose to the occasion but all I did was say “No problem at all, take me to Virar. I will come home with you have a cup of tea and take a train back”...and the laughter that filled the air defused the situation. Not only was I patted on the back but respectfully allowed to get off at my destination……small mercies….

I can't tolerate the sound of the pigeon on my window each morning (need an air gun badly)....I can't tolerate hypocrites and discrimination....people wasting their precious time and talent......grumblers....the double parking in my Lokhandwala Complex (but who cares...and yes I tried ..but rule says if driver in car - can't be towed)....and hey am I not tolerating the sometimes utterly stupid things people in my life do... wet blankets are wet blankets no matter what.....and I even have actors, films I like and dislike ...So if I say I don’t like an actor, I am allowed to say so na without being bashed or pulled up for it!  I have been waiting for that actor to stop spreading his arms out to the sky leaning over to one side or going hmmm mmmmmm while my intolerance screams out Sholay ka famous dialogue "yeh haath mujhe de de thakur".  Everyone has a tolerance level within then, and well that’s just how much I can take from him. This is just one simple immediate thing that upsets me and aggravates me so what can I say about things larger than life that are happening? Yes, I can't tolerate a lot of things happening in my neighborhood, my workplace and of course our country too...

Do we really live in a society that allows us to do what we want our way and express our opinions freely. There are norms and guidelines that need to be followed at home, workplace, etc. much to my like or dislike.  Take the simple example above about the actor and I can tell you that I lost many a friends on that one joking comment. There are so many voices out there vehemently expressing their views and saying how can you say such a thing when the whole world swears by his talent. But hey, it is just that one thing I can’t tolerate. Did I say I don’t like all of his work or that all of his films don’t work for me? Matter closed and here starts my pent up intolerance and given one little opportunity I become the first vocal voice in that intolerance movement.  That according to me is just what is happening around us.  People who are unable to express their views freely and made to shut up are the ones that look for opportunities to express when an opportunity appears. The burst of pent up emotions and thoughts then flow faster than the largest river of India.  

Issues that can change the face of the earth, our surroundings and are for our good definitely need to be supported. Movements that don’t allow me to eat what I want, wear what I want, speak the way I want (so long as it is sensible) are not to be tolerated because they are our fundamental rights. Aren’t they? Then it becomes my choice to live with it or protest. We are a democracy and in a country with so many different cultures and so many different languages that it is quite impossible for all of us to walk the same path.

What is this about “how dare you criticize the country that has given you so much?” So am I just supposed to take everything that makes me uncomfortable sitting down. Rather a silly thought because everything in life is based on an individual thought or a personal experience and that is something that matters a lot.  It has nothing to do with what others feel but just if this experience or thought matches the mob, then need I say more. I have a right to my view and it is up to the other to accept or disregard it. On the other hand, I am of the strong opinion that people in power; people whose words matter, people who are looked up to have to be extra careful with their words. Of course, they have the right to feel hurt and angry but somewhere along the line, I feel, that is way past for them, as they now shoulder the responsibility of being mentors, and idols to many and every word they say matters.

Changes and improvements are necessary. I can't tolerate a lot of things happening in our country too. I just heard that Delhi plans to allow cars to ply on roads based on their numbers - odd and even- and on particular days only. Is that the solution of traffic control? Good thought but what if I have an emergency, what if I am going to work daily by car. Please don’t say car pool, as no one’s working hours match with another and people don’t have time to wait for one another after all everyone has to get home to children, etc.  How is it going to help? The smart ones will find a way around it. Stupid me also will buy one car with odd and one with even number. Problem solved or increased? So now if this is enforced in my city will I accept it? Will I grumble? Will I be tolerant or intolerant? I need to think seriously about it.