Cooking.... The LAZY way out!

After a long long time, I got into a local train and memories came rushing back as I stood there looking at the harrowed and tired face of women rushing back from work.  A sudden feeling of déjà vu and I went back thirty five years ago to those days when I jumped into the local at Churchgate to get a seat. Life is not easy when you are working and I know this because for years I too rushed home to manage the kitchen and bring up my two devils. It was a whirlwind life and believe me when I say that even then we were crushed like sardines in a tin in the locals. 

Planning the menu in the head whilst travelling and grabbing on to the handle in a jam packed fast train to deciding the stuff to buy as soon as I get off the train. Did that help? or was I just too jealous of those women sitting in the train peeling green peas and breaking the beans into smaller pieces. That was indeed the way to go but then I needed a seat in the train for that, right!!!  That most awful time of running home to make a load full of dough for the rotis for my in-laws family of eight.  Just forty odd ones too.... Oh yes, I would be the one to reach home first most times so always got started with the help of my mom-in-law. That phase lasted for many years till we decided to hire a cook... and when I moved to my place it was the saviour - the bread.. and why not, after all I was a parsi and parsis ate bread and always had the eggs handy. Eggs, my utmost favorite comfort food till date, so easy to cook up.  I remember a friend at work asking me one day why do we put eggs on everything from bheenda par edu, to tomato par edu, to saali par edu and he got a rap on his knuckles for being cheeky enough to ask whether we put egg on our dal and curry too !!!  Oh yes, I love those instant products available today.  The non-veg and veg instant mixes available in easy packs. The delicious chicken/mutton masala mixes - chettinad, malai, butter, moghalai, tandoori - .name it and its available and the same masala works beautifully for vegetables too... After all it is just a marketing strategy to say non-veg and veg because it becomes non-veg only when the non-veg is added...ha ha ha.... Love it even today ! Just 10 minutes of defrosting and mixed up with my meat and popped into the cooker.

It wasn't that easy when I was a kid though... I still remember all those Sundays when Mom slaved in the kitchen making those masalas, storing garlic and ginger paste, storing the curry masala and even fried onions. Those many weekend masala grinding childhood days when Mom would sit us down to peel the garlic and slice onions in what seemed like kilos and never-ending.  That going to the bazaar to get the stuff for the week and then washing it all to make smaller packs of the meats and freezing it.  Then there were those days when I stared at those crabs trying to crawl out of the vessel and I actually volunteered to wash fish. Many still do that till date but it is all about to each her own. 

And then there is nothing wrong with innovating with leftovers by just adding tomato puree and making it a gravy dish with rice or making your own jhatpat “bhajias” out of left over vegetables and plonking them into tomato/onion puree or even kneading them up in the dough. That worked for me… these shortcuts did.  Rice was meant to be left over to turn into delicious pakodas with tea the next day. Till today I deliberately ensure that rice is left over to be dunked into loads of curd and made into pakodas!

Do I love to cook you may ask and do I? Well, as a kid I did go to baking classes and my younger sister still remembers the aroma of breads and cheese straws baking in the oven.  I love baking and do that off and on, but not much of cooking because when your daughter takes over the kitchen and feeds you with "FOOD" the way it is meant to be, then there is no need for shortcuts, is there??

An art to master - local train travel

MumMirror page 1 story of December 16, 2015 “What a Choke” claims that majority of cases by suffocation resulting in attacks and seizures are triggered by travelling by locals. In an attempt to curb this Indian Railways has come up with a brilliant resolve. Now commuters can travel in long distance trains in peak hours. 

Got it, Great for the men-folk but what happens to us women and the result of which will be what, may I ask?  According to me it is simple. The Virar local behavior will become the new Dadar /Borivili behavior on WR/ CR side long distance trains too.  Holiday and long distance travellers get ready to give up your seats as there will be no reservation till local stations are crossed. Prepare to stand till then, share the 4th seat and for the "claim lavle la aahe" fun times on long distance trains... and those getting in long distance trains at Dadar /Borivili be ready for the tension of getting into the train and remember either keep your bags on your heads or around your neck….. and bless you if you get in without "what a choke".

Things have not changed have they?Friends often say ‘you toh must have never faced the rush we are facing?’  Do you really believe that during my times things must have been much easier. Let me share my woes of travelling in the local train to work in my times.

It has been the same since I travelled to work in the 70s right up to my office moving to BKC in 2000. I worked at Churchgate and lived in Andheri (the cardinal sin of living there according to the Virar-ites).  Dare I get into a Virar local to go home to my family (which presumably I was not allowed to worry about because it’s just Andheri around the corner and besides there were Andheri locals, na!). So what if they were at intervals of every 20 minutes. I was expected to wait patiently for the most comfortable ride home, according the the Virar-ites? (an after thought is I guess they were frustrated too). Which local I decided to take did not matter as before the train rolled into the station I too had to position myself to make that flying leap into the train to aim for the jackpot .....a window seat…..and if that jump did not make it in time then- a window seat?  Lucky me if I  landed a 4^th seat with 1/4^th of my backside balancing away digging my heels into the ground lest the jerk of the train threw me off that six inch area I had managed to plonk on. Andheri locals were meant for those who had the luxury of time and no inclination to fight their way through after all there were no fast trains in our times and very few if any for Andheri?

Well then that left me with the option of the Borivili local which would get me home faster. That required another kind of skill.  Did I need to position myself to jump in here too?  Definitely, if I wanted a seat and even more if I wanted to even stand on the side of the doors to be able to get out. More than often me and a friend would take this option of standing near the door and every day there would be bickering, hair in the nose, elbows hitting your head, shoulders crunched (now I know where I developed the spondylosis). One such evening a fight irrupted and standing near the doorway we hear threats of “I will throw you off the train” and my darling scared friend goes “aarey, do something or she will throw her off” to my don’t be silly she is going to do nothing of the sort. But she would not give up and elbowed her way through to save the girl and what she got was a lashing in return for interfering and I told you so from me.

Local trains are meant for cramped compartments, sweaty women, arguments, threats, venting anger, throwing weight around and even more than that, claiming seats. That swaying onto your shoulder while dozing or peeling vegetables are also part of the game, but that “me claim lavle-la aahe” was the worst kind of torture.  If you have managed a seat in the Borivili local, the ladies will dig you in the shoulder to ask where you are getting off, and mind you Andheri meant you had better get up one or two stations prior to get to the door. Then that dig would claim your seat and disappear in the crowd while you got fingers shoved into your face at every station asking where are you getting off. Here’s where you become the caretaker of the seat for that green dress-wali flash-by almost invisible lady you just saw a second. The moment you start to get up you are shoved back into your seat while the claim lady and lady near your feet fight over the seat you are leaving behind.

Of course the cardinal sin that I could commit is getting into a Virar local.  How dare I even think about it? Never mind if I have an emergency or I need to get home soon..no excuse is good enough.  I made that cardinal sin a number of times and got away, phew!! But one day standing on the foot board to the side not daring to sit as the train left Churchgate and  as it reached Dadar, I was questioned why? A gang of ladies pounced on me with a volley of “you have the Andheri trains then why do you get into Virar? Have you no brains” while I sheepishly say I want to reach home early to their mortification of is 10 mins more going to kill someone..and then it happened…”Bahut shyaani hai…tu bagh aata..aami tula utru denaar nahin...Eh tela Virar ghevun jaanar aata” (meaning I was being too smart and they would not allow me to get off and take me to Virar). Then the unbelievable happened. The durga in me of pent up emotions of local train trauma calmly, actually calmly, replied in chaste Marathi (by the way it is the language I’ve always loved) said “take me to Virar. I have never been to Virar. I will come home with you. Have a cup of tea and take a train back”…The laughter that erupted and the backslapping that happened is a memory that’s remained. Yes, they did allow me to get off.

For all those who think we ladies had a comfortable train travel home, let me tell you there was just one ladies compartment at the end of the train back then in and later on another one added in the middle of the train and then that one compartment at the end of the train was increased by half a compartment.  Do the math. Nothing has changed since then and nothing will as numbers of women working are increasing not the compartments.

It is an art that needs to be mastered and I did and I believe the women out there have mastered it too.   So I can only pray that all you women out there enjoy safe journeys each day ........and wish that you get into the local without "what a choke"...... and to you , the authorities responsible for this awesome, crushing and choking new hair brain ideas of ruining lives of families on a long journey train, all I can say is “what a joke”.

Tolerance, Intolerance and Me

Tolerance ..... Intolerance...a never ending debate. So what is tolerance?It is just the willingness to tolerate those opinions or behavior that one just does not like or agree with. Do I have a right to talk about tolerance and intolerance when I myself first am unable to tolerate a lot of things and can’t tolerate some in my own home and surroundings forget as far as the things happening in the country….and yes it does disturb me when things happen in the country but let me just share my thoughts.

There is a long personal list of likes and dislikes or as we call it tolerance and intolerance now….I can’t tolerate the attitude of the women who claim we Andherites can’t travel in a Virar local.  I made the cardinal sin of getting into one and standing near the door and at Dadar became the target of intolerance.  I was threatened that Andheri would not be by destination and she promised to take me to Virar.  I don’t know what part of me rose to the occasion but all I did was say “No problem at all, take me to Virar. I will come home with you have a cup of tea and take a train back”...and the laughter that filled the air defused the situation. Not only was I patted on the back but respectfully allowed to get off at my destination……small mercies….

I can't tolerate the sound of the pigeon on my window each morning (need an air gun badly)....I can't tolerate hypocrites and discrimination....people wasting their precious time and talent......grumblers....the double parking in my Lokhandwala Complex (but who cares...and yes I tried ..but rule says if driver in car - can't be towed)....and hey am I not tolerating the sometimes utterly stupid things people in my life do... wet blankets are wet blankets no matter what.....and I even have actors, films I like and dislike ...So if I say I don’t like an actor, I am allowed to say so na without being bashed or pulled up for it!  I have been waiting for that actor to stop spreading his arms out to the sky leaning over to one side or going hmmm mmmmmm while my intolerance screams out Sholay ka famous dialogue "yeh haath mujhe de de thakur".  Everyone has a tolerance level within then, and well that’s just how much I can take from him. This is just one simple immediate thing that upsets me and aggravates me so what can I say about things larger than life that are happening? Yes, I can't tolerate a lot of things happening in my neighborhood, my workplace and of course our country too...

Do we really live in a society that allows us to do what we want our way and express our opinions freely. There are norms and guidelines that need to be followed at home, workplace, etc. much to my like or dislike.  Take the simple example above about the actor and I can tell you that I lost many a friends on that one joking comment. There are so many voices out there vehemently expressing their views and saying how can you say such a thing when the whole world swears by his talent. But hey, it is just that one thing I can’t tolerate. Did I say I don’t like all of his work or that all of his films don’t work for me? Matter closed and here starts my pent up intolerance and given one little opportunity I become the first vocal voice in that intolerance movement.  That according to me is just what is happening around us.  People who are unable to express their views freely and made to shut up are the ones that look for opportunities to express when an opportunity appears. The burst of pent up emotions and thoughts then flow faster than the largest river of India.  

Issues that can change the face of the earth, our surroundings and are for our good definitely need to be supported. Movements that don’t allow me to eat what I want, wear what I want, speak the way I want (so long as it is sensible) are not to be tolerated because they are our fundamental rights. Aren’t they? Then it becomes my choice to live with it or protest. We are a democracy and in a country with so many different cultures and so many different languages that it is quite impossible for all of us to walk the same path.

What is this about “how dare you criticize the country that has given you so much?” So am I just supposed to take everything that makes me uncomfortable sitting down. Rather a silly thought because everything in life is based on an individual thought or a personal experience and that is something that matters a lot.  It has nothing to do with what others feel but just if this experience or thought matches the mob, then need I say more. I have a right to my view and it is up to the other to accept or disregard it. On the other hand, I am of the strong opinion that people in power; people whose words matter, people who are looked up to have to be extra careful with their words. Of course, they have the right to feel hurt and angry but somewhere along the line, I feel, that is way past for them, as they now shoulder the responsibility of being mentors, and idols to many and every word they say matters.

Changes and improvements are necessary. I can't tolerate a lot of things happening in our country too. I just heard that Delhi plans to allow cars to ply on roads based on their numbers - odd and even- and on particular days only. Is that the solution of traffic control? Good thought but what if I have an emergency, what if I am going to work daily by car. Please don’t say car pool, as no one’s working hours match with another and people don’t have time to wait for one another after all everyone has to get home to children, etc.  How is it going to help? The smart ones will find a way around it. Stupid me also will buy one car with odd and one with even number. Problem solved or increased? So now if this is enforced in my city will I accept it? Will I grumble? Will I be tolerant or intolerant? I need to think seriously about it.