We, Women!

There are so many posts, tweets and so many discussions on what women want from their men, women equality at work, women empowerment, etc. etc. Well, I am a woman and when I got down to thinking what is it that really matters I realised that not much but a handful of things.

Alright, just maybe about a 1000 things starting with being the only important thing of a man’s life – yes, this is the most important part......also understanding, caring, have eyes only for me (very very important!!). Tall dark and handsome.... okay…maybe, but there is now an add-on to that phrase- ‘with 6 packs’- and why not? Don’t men look for the sexy, smart, tall and beautiful? Don’t forget romance, respect, time and commitment - that’s a big bonus.  Not to forget showing interest in our careers, likes and dislikes - that goes a long way. Remembering to say that we look good as often as possible, in fact every time you see me because we never forget!!! … if we are quiet don’t think you’ve won the war cause it’s just the storm whipping up….we will be angry and moody about many things, but stick around…and please don’t think our life rotates around you and we can’t live without you, because we just make you feel that way … For heaven’s sake better listen when we talk to you, we are not talking to the walls… Commitment and emotional connect, if you understand what I am saying!!!

On the other hand, give us space too for career, financial independence matters, even fun time with friends and most definitely self-worth. Remember juggling home and career is not a circus act easily done. Women have been living two lives for centuries. Generations ago, women worked at home looking after their families but today women (the stay-at-home moms) are also working out of their home. Of course, the children and husbands remain top priority and even do if the woman is working outside the home.  At, out of or outside really makes no difference to the woman. That’s what we women do admirably and will continue to do so. After all we are “super woman” and “super employee” rolled into one finding a way to balance a challenging career with family responsibilities. Pitch in if you can, and if you can’t just flow with it because there are countless things on our minds and we are chronic worriers on a tight rope. So, cut us a little leash!!!

And to all my women friends out there…. about those feelings of always having to make things work in a man’s world. There are and will be many who still think a man can do the job better than the woman. Don't let them ever get you down because you could either give up or just find a way to succeed.. and succeed you will because we get it right the first time around…It’s a never-ending tug of war that we are going to have to survive... After all who said it better than Helen Rowland “a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them”.

Besides all that inequality and discrimination between men and women are age-old never ending issues with many a forums, associations and movements….but today we are no longer apologetic, hesitant or ashamed to stand up for ourselves.Tears are no more our weapon and we are stronger today taking control of our own happiness …and let us not forget those gritty women we cross on a busy street, working at construction sites with babes tied to their backs, or at the hospitals, fish market or at malls who deserve a big round of applause too. You will never see them complain about the atrocities they suffer or about their meagre difficult lives as today they too are as empowered as any of us.

An anonymous quote says:

            Women really do rule the world and they have just figured it out yet. 
            When they do, and they will, we’re all in big big trouble.

Let me just rephrase it a bit:

          Women really do rule the world and they have just figured it out. 
          Now that they have and just did, everyone is in big big trouble 

A place under the sun!

A place under the sun!

It was that grim day the harsh words crashed my world. I wished standing there that I could curse the nine month pregnant counselor shared her thoughts about my daughter’s academic performance in the most rude, insensitive and uncaring manner, but then how could I a mother myself curse her, another to-be-a-mom. I remember stepping out of that room sobbing and promising myself that I was going to prove her all wrong; and we did. I never stopped pushing (may be a bit harshly too) and encouraging my daughter to fight her demons. She on her part, the fighter that she was, not only went on to complete schooling and college, of course, at her own pace. Fail she did, many a time, but she always refused to give up. Yes, I went through trauma with her and yes, I had to find ways to overcome her learning problems. What surprised me was that my friends with similar problems reaching out to me saying that my sharing had made them open up and accept their situations. Today when I look back I often wonder whether I should have exposed her to the world so blatantly and should I be sharing this today.  I think I did it right for today she is doing well for herself working with children. 

May be there is a mother out there who is worrying about sharing and letting people know and if you are let me say that “it’s perfectly okay’. After all it’s a cut throat competition out there that needs to be won, and I do know that it matters.  I had also somewhere along the line thought that maybe it's all my fault and that maybe I did not give enough time and attention, but remember it’s not you!  I do know it’s difficult to accept that our child is not going to make it to the top rung of the financial world like other children. After all, we all want the best future for our children and can’t seem to understand why they would choose careers in non-traditional jobs that don’t have a fast track career graph.  We, always, worry endlessly about society, what is going to happen in the future, what life will hold for them and never seem to realise that all five fingers are not the same, and when we do, time has fallen in between our fingers like sand. If only we would accept and appreciate that children today are completely aware of the immense opportunities that are out there in the world of the likes we never had dreamt of in our times.  On my part,  am glad that I never  hid in the shadows but went out there and sought answers and solutions and realised that there is always a helping hand out there and that each one of us, at the end of the day, definitely finds that  place under the sun.