Fairy Tales! More or no more??

Fairy Tales! More or no more??

In a whatsapp group a debate got me thinking. How relevant are the fairy tales today and the thoughts expressed got me worried. 'Life is not always good over evil' said one, 'Nothing magical exists, so why fool the kids' said another, while still another proclaimed 'there is no Santa Claus, so why not tell stories as they should be told'. I object, my lord, for I firmly believe that the kids today are much smarter and are able to differentiate between the real and the magical. Kids are not stupid as they have the world available to them at the click of a button. From a very early age, they are exposed to the world of games, stories and much more than we ever were. They know where to draw the line much to our dismay and amazement and from a very small age too.

Unlike us when we were kids, who believed that seeds thrown in the ground grew a beanstalk to the sky above. Let's not kid ourselves cause we did bury those seeds in the ground and water it with the hope to climb up there and meet the Giant. Who can forget Hansel and Gretel being left behind in the forest - but not to forget how smartly they found their way home by leaving a trail behind. So what if the second time the trail of bread was eaten by the birds and they landed at the witches house. The kids did escape with the riches, did they not.  Just goes to show that every fairy tale has shown how resourceful and intelligent the kids were.  So what's not right or scary about sharing these stories today.  The story about the Golden Goose that laid the golden egg taught me not to be greedy....The 3 Little Pigs building houses of straw, sticks and bricks taught me not to just take whatever I find to build my life, or choose the easy way out, but to explore what would be better. Not to forget my favourite one The Ugly Duckling that became a swan, and you may ask why? As a kid, like many other girls, I never thought I was beautiful but today when I look back, I realise it helped me realise my potential slowly and surely to achieve a lot more important things in life.

As kids, we all  loved a fairy tale with a happily ever after, so did I. I am sure the kids today too enjoy the good conquering over the evil with magic even if it is not the wicked witch but Harry Potter. Imagination and the magical world is not a thing of our times.  Everyone has imagination in varying degrees. Some kids imagine the worst to fight like flying dragons while other kids just like fighting the animals in the forest. Worrying whether the story is too scary or what is the take away or that it is not true to life is just in our heads only. What  matters is that most kids today are able to understand it better and they are much more creative and fearless than we were as kids. They never accept anything at face value and question everything.  Visuals in the stories may have changed to flying dragons, swords to depict those mythological or magical stories about cultures around the world but the essence is the same. When we were kids, the stories were told with pictures in the book and today the same stories are repackaged cinematically for the kids today. Fairy tale children movies, television shows or comics still tell the story of Snow White surprisingly for the kids in a suitable format, while for the adults it is recreated as "Snow White and the Huntsmen".  It just proves that there is a merit to the fairy tales and besides this just makes it that much easier for us to read to our kids, does it not? They say the world is round and what is new today is old tomorrow, so let's not dismiss off all of those stories that we grew up with. They taught us about friendship, life and hope. Today kids are sceptical of everything and they never stop questioning 'why'? so it is up to us to how spin off the moral of the tale. Take it a step forward and ask them to invent their own endings and be prepared to be surprised. Kids don't scare easily these days and unlike us don't turn our heads away when a head is cut off with a sword. They revel in the sword fights, the fire breathing dragons and ghostly figures in the corridors and it is not just the boys, but the girls too. In this virtual world of stories, computer games, it is still a good idea to let the kids dream the unbelievable, create their own worlds of fantasy and fly the fantastic world of magical where goodness still conquers the evil. As for us who grew up with fairy tales when life was simple, use these as a way to share your childhood stories to the kids. 

A bit of Crazy!

When I posted " To all those who encourage me and applaud my madness.. a BIG Thank You..hoping to shock (hee Hee hee) and surprise (ho ho ho) with more as I continue to find ways to enjoy life king size...meet and make more friends...... after all I am retired only from a job after all !!"........... it got me thinking. Madness or being just plain crazy is definitely not a mental disorder....and if it is then disorder of what I wonder?  Can it be for loving and living out one's own beliefs or just madness for say name, place, animal or thing. 

When life gets crazy and out of control, films provide a great escape from it.  Everything is perfect as the celluloid lights up and the credit rolls. Everything is escapism till the lights go off and you realise that the fantasy has ended. Some of us manage to get back to the normal humdrum of life, while some choose to live on the fantasy to crazy proportions. "All that matters is that both sides remain loyal, which they will assuming you continue to be who you are and do your thing.” ~ Ashly Lorenzana....It does not end there as when the craze for an actor takes over, people try to emulate the style, mouth dialogues, copy dancing moves & clothes and sometimes even behave like the actors themselves. People begin to  idolise and want to be like their idols. Even the wrong doings of their favourites in the real world gets brushed under the carpet because they can do no wrong and deserve no punishment according to their fans. That indeed is one kind of "crazy

Then there are some who are so crazy about animals that they will not allow a small act against any animal go unnoticed. Nearly everyone love animals, baring a few like me, who prefer to admire them from a distance. My sister has dogs and they are a part of her family. She finds it very difficult to understand why I and my younger sister cower in a corner of her house, waiting for her dogs to settle down. I am totally mortified by a dog licking me or a cat sitting on my lap, but then that's just me. Of course, I love animals and love watching God's beautiful creatures in the wild and I am in complete awe... just so long as they are not up close. I have a whole lot of friends who take love of animals to a whole new level of professing their love or disdain for violence against animals via social media, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Their social media pages will be full of images of their pets or favourite animal or raising arms against barbaric acts against animals and of course, I will support  them. James Cromwell says "Pets are humanizing. They remind us we have an obligation and responsibility to preserve and nurture and care for all life" while George Eliot adds "Animals are such agreeable friends -- they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms"....

What can I say to someone who is mad about eating..... and then the next best thing to eating food, is talking about it. Good food on the table, eating with loved ones, cooking or just being around food... that's all that matters to them. They shop for food, they even take pictures of food. They are the best people to call on, especially when one wants to know where to eat out or even better still going out to eat with them. No worries about what to choose from the menu if they are with you. Believe me when I say that I have many a times chosen a wrong dish to experiment with.  “There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” says George Bernard Shaw ........but a crazy foodie will only proclaim “I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.”.

The one kind of madness and crazy that we really need to be careful of is - smothering love and forced competition!! I am talking about the pressures that parents are putting on children today. Competition and aiming for ranks is not what worries the children, it is the crazy pressure that is thrust upon them by the parents that makes them falter. There is a big world out there that they have to battle and bad grades makes mothers more mad. Crazy control over the child's time to study and pressure of not allowing him/her to free time is leading to social, emotional and physical stress for both the mothers and children. No matter how lofty are the goals you set for your children, end of the day it is going to depend on how your child is managing to achieve them.  "All five fingers are not the same" is a saying we've heard often enough..... but we have become blind sighted and put all energies into ensuring the child stays ahead.  Worth thinking about is this quote from Bruce Lee, “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ..... because, " At the end of the day, just know that God made you, so you can be your own individual" says Wyclef Jean.

Everyone needs a bit of madness, besides there is always a reason behind the madness. It requires loads of passion and determination beyond reasoning with a bit of restraint thrown in.  I have  loads of it in me and that keeps me optimistic that there is something more, something new out there to experience..... to live out and dream for.  I will just have to trust in my madness, whatever it may be....... because sometimes a bit of crazy is the only way to stay sane in this mad mad world.

A place under the sun!

A place under the sun!

It was that grim day the harsh words crashed my world. I wished standing there that I could curse the nine month pregnant counselor shared her thoughts about my daughter’s academic performance in the most rude, insensitive and uncaring manner, but then how could I a mother myself curse her, another to-be-a-mom. I remember stepping out of that room sobbing and promising myself that I was going to prove her all wrong; and we did. I never stopped pushing (may be a bit harshly too) and encouraging my daughter to fight her demons. She on her part, the fighter that she was, not only went on to complete schooling and college, of course, at her own pace. Fail she did, many a time, but she always refused to give up. Yes, I went through trauma with her and yes, I had to find ways to overcome her learning problems. What surprised me was that my friends with similar problems reaching out to me saying that my sharing had made them open up and accept their situations. Today when I look back I often wonder whether I should have exposed her to the world so blatantly and should I be sharing this today.  I think I did it right for today she is doing well for herself working with children. 

May be there is a mother out there who is worrying about sharing and letting people know and if you are let me say that “it’s perfectly okay’. After all it’s a cut throat competition out there that needs to be won, and I do know that it matters.  I had also somewhere along the line thought that maybe it's all my fault and that maybe I did not give enough time and attention, but remember it’s not you!  I do know it’s difficult to accept that our child is not going to make it to the top rung of the financial world like other children. After all, we all want the best future for our children and can’t seem to understand why they would choose careers in non-traditional jobs that don’t have a fast track career graph.  We, always, worry endlessly about society, what is going to happen in the future, what life will hold for them and never seem to realise that all five fingers are not the same, and when we do, time has fallen in between our fingers like sand. If only we would accept and appreciate that children today are completely aware of the immense opportunities that are out there in the world of the likes we never had dreamt of in our times.  On my part,  am glad that I never  hid in the shadows but went out there and sought answers and solutions and realised that there is always a helping hand out there and that each one of us, at the end of the day, definitely finds that  place under the sun.