Follow the leader !!! Yes or No?

I have been a part of The Indian Association of Secretaries and Administrative Professionals for a decade now. IASAP encourages continuous learning and development of secretaries and professionals through monthly meetings, networking and educational trips.  Recently, IASAP offered its members to participate in an essay contest on the topic "Supporting Leadership Responsibly" and I participated. Even though I did not win the contest, here is what I submitted on the topic and now that there is no constraint of word count... Well, I am adding a few words more here and there too!!

The word leadership to me reads as two words 'leader' and 'ship' which means to get a 'ship' to sail safely to the shore there has to be some to 'lead" it there. Can a ship float on its own without directions from the captain and support of the crew?  Most definitely not and that got me thinking back to my days of working at the bank. My portfolio of handling annual reports (for over 12 years) was no mean task. It required me to co-ordinate between content providers, agency, manage the flow of corrections between the content providers and the agency with deadlines and standardisation thrown in with a lot of stress. Even though I had my superior to support me and it was my project, I wonder whether I could make a claim to fame and whether it could have been effective by my efforts alone. Not at all, because it meant leaving the "me" behind and working alongside each and everyone, at every level of the bank to get the work done. I always believe that good leadership and team work can far outweigh what an individual can achieve.

Uncanny but just before this contest form dropped into my mailbox I had been surfing facebook. I love listening to Steve Harvey, Ellen De Generes (who I prefer to call Ellen the Generous) and Jay Shetty  so when a video by Richard Pimentel in a on The Daily Goalpost face book page dropped it caught my attention.  Richard Pimentel says, "I learnt leadership by being a good follower. I had a leader who asked me to risk my life in Vietnam. We were up this hill and trapped and Sergeant said it is our responsibility to stay there. I said responsibility? He said 'do you know what responsibility is Richard? It is a word make up of two words - the word 'responsible' and the word 'ability'. Responsibility is not what one puts on you. It isn't your job description or your job responsibility or a paper you sign. We all find ourselves looking at situations and we all find ourselves with abilities and what we have to ask is, given the situation what t to those abilities", and at the end he added these poignant words "Leaders do not get people to believe in them. Leaders find ways to get people believe in themselves".

Author Alan Zimmerman says, "Employees were expected to park their brains, shut their mouths and work their 40 hours a week. In the new world, employees are expected to take responsibility to use all their talents and to perform with excellence". So then how does a professional like you and me do that, I ask? Is it just about responsibility, performance or consistently trying to stand out for what you can bring to the table or is it more? I firmly believe that it is not just about the willingness, commitment, completing tasks on time, motivation or even the positive attitude. To me, most importantly, it is about being happy with the work you do. It is a little more than that too. If you cannot align yourself to the company's vision and mission and if you do not respect or believe in your leader and in his leadership, then the bigger picture is going to be missed altogether. Appreciate the fact that good leaders know when to lead and when to step back because that is why they are leaders! ... and on your part be the support who believe that leader is also concerned about them. After all as a saying goes "a perfect employee is the one who inspires his boss as much as his boss inspires him".

Blogging & Entrepreneurship with Miss Malini

Malini Agarwal better known in the Bollywood, Fashion and Lifestyle world as the very charasmatic, MissMalini, is a famous blogger and celebrity in her own right. So when ShethePeople in the first edition of Bombaywaali for 2018 posted an invite to  meet her in person on January 12th, I  was definitely not missing it.

Walking into Title Waves at Bandra, I see Miss Malini standing next to her book "To the Moon" happily posing for a click.  People who know me, will shake their head again in good humour for sure. Oh yes, I did walk up to her right there to ask for a selfie.  Never miss an opportunity in life, I say. What worst can happen, but a No!

Miss Malini took the stage with author Kiran Manral and as the evening unfolded, I realised that there was so much to learn from her. What endeared me more was the fact that like me, she chose to explore whatever came her way....and as we know, she made a success of it too from pioneering an Indian lifestyle blog and a website that touches 4 million lives from over 200 countries with a social media following of over 7.5 million.

So what does one do when you have an awesome woman like her sitting across you on a stage. Naturally, you whip out your mobile and start recording her conversation.  That is exactly what I did and I even asked a question.  Here are transcripts of what I recorded.

Miss Malini gave credit to her mother, Manjulika (a selfie with her was mandatory) for her support and what she has been able to achieve.  She shared, "Actually I have to give credit to my mom for that. When I wanted to become a back up dancer, she said 'okay, I am coming to watch with a handy cam'.  She would record everything but she would cut off everyone's heads and just film me, which is amazing. I could just go and try new things. I was lucky to be at a point of time in every career where something new was happening."

To a question on blogging as an entrepreneur, she responded "There is a difference between hobby blogging and entrepreneur.  So people who are blogging as a hobby, do it your own way.  As an entrepreneur, you need to think a little ahead and you need to make a business plan. You have to think about where I am going to be a year from now. What is my mission, what is my vision and how am I going to make money out of it and how can I make it sustainable. Step by step but the most important thing in this is to find that, whether it is  going to be an entrepreneur, what is the USP. Are you just selling to people, is it just content. Is your money going to come from advertising or from selling your product on the blog. You need to decide all those things,  You also need to decide what your benchmark of success will be, is it money, is it fame, is it influence or is it making a difference. So they are very different things so they may not all be money. There might be something you are doing as a project for social work or something, so there money is not the main thing, it is really about getting the message across. So first decide those things, question what your agenda is  and what you would measure as your metric of success".

A few tips she shared along the way in her own words were  >>"you really have to figure out what you really want to do on your blog or Instagram handle and then find the right tools to do it...."   >>"find the gap, or what are you doing differently, or what is the identity that you have that nobody else has out there"  >>"find something that speaks your voice, and  that is unique and that is what is going to make you stand out".  There is an A to Z in her book on digital brand building which will help you to understand more on reaching out to people.

I too, often wonder, why do we need to feed on stories mud-slinging and tearing films down. I may not like a film but I always believe that so much hard work goes into making one, that It was heartening to hear that there is someone out there like Miss Malini who prefers to use the positive vs the negative when reporting about Bollywood. Talking about Bollywood blogging, Miss Malini shared "Bollywood blogging is very complex. There is tabloid blogging, or there is reviewing or there is documenting a fly on the wall experience or doing much more lengthy pieces.  So what kind of content do you want to create. Having a personality and identity makes the biggest difference. The ones who stand out to me who have been Bollywood bloggers have been influencers."

Interestingly I could identify with her totally when she was asked about finding time for herself.  Like her I have always loved my job and the things I do today, that  her saying "I think the balance really comes from finding time to make things that are most important to you, your focus.  For me honestly, my job and what I do is so much fun. It is probably why I spend most time on it." seemed just right to me.

Like Miss Malini, even I abhor the advertisements that talk about fairness creams. Forget about whether it works or not, but have you seen the way the advertisements are presented.  I recently saw one on fairness cream for men.  The man removes his head band and there is a fair skin under it while the rest of the face is dark from the sun.  Really !! I can clearly see the dark make up used for the face.  Terrible sharing for vulnerable men and women out there who have been told fairness matter. Miss Malini too believes that, "The problem with fairness creams is the emotional damage they do. Our skin is a representation of our rich history, why hide? Feel beautiful with the skin you are in."

Then it is Q&A time and I ask a good question and got her  book  "To the Moon" duly autographed that read "Continue to be the rock star you are!!" I guess my madness showed, because wow, in a few minutes Miss Malini had got me totally. I am going to cherish those words forever indeed.

My question to her :.

Hi Malini. It was a pleasure listening to you and especially about the blogging, because I do blog but as you said I do not focus on any blogging, particularly any topic till now and I will probably seek your help on that.  My question to you is that networking is important for entrepreneurs, I do know that, but how we go about it is really not the right way, I've seen.  Women think that walking into an event, meeting women, talking to them, sharing your cards,  and that kind of thing is really networking. But to me I am not very sure that whether you actually achieve what you set out to achieve in that way.  What tip would you give me if I were to walk in for a specific networking  for maybe growing my own business, or sharing my own story or learning more.

  

Miss Malini replied:

Great question. So the one thing I have learnt about networking is that the best thing you could do when networking is don't  spend that time talking about yourself.  When you go to a room of people you want to meet, go and understand their story. Ask them what they do, how they came up with the business, their plans are and tips because one they will be endeared by the fact that you care about their stories. So you are going to be memorable immediately and you will learn something from them.  I am a talker and the one thing I had to teach myself is to listen more talk less, because you are talking and you are not learning anything from them. Let someone else talk and then you will learn. So when you network, go in and ask people their stories and genuinely listen. It is more effective if you went and spoke to three people and had that kind of a conversation than you went and handed your cards to fifty people. In most cases it is going to be dropped somewhere and forgotten. People don't really use it until they really need someone's numbers, right. So go and have a genuine conversation and ask that person about themselves. They will always come back and ask you, your story.

I too truly believe that the more friends you make, the more people you meet, the more you talk to people and connect to, the more you get to learn..... and I do just that.  The number of stalwarts that I have met at #ShethePeopleTV #Bombaywali like  RJ Malishka, Tisca Chopra, Bachi Karkaria and many more has indeed been an enriching experience.  As the quote says -

"I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path

for a purpose. There are no accidents; we're all teachers - if we're willing to pay attention

 to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks

or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door"  ~ Marla Gibbs

A place under the sun!

A place under the sun!

It was that grim day the harsh words crashed my world. I wished standing there that I could curse the nine month pregnant counselor shared her thoughts about my daughter’s academic performance in the most rude, insensitive and uncaring manner, but then how could I a mother myself curse her, another to-be-a-mom. I remember stepping out of that room sobbing and promising myself that I was going to prove her all wrong; and we did. I never stopped pushing (may be a bit harshly too) and encouraging my daughter to fight her demons. She on her part, the fighter that she was, not only went on to complete schooling and college, of course, at her own pace. Fail she did, many a time, but she always refused to give up. Yes, I went through trauma with her and yes, I had to find ways to overcome her learning problems. What surprised me was that my friends with similar problems reaching out to me saying that my sharing had made them open up and accept their situations. Today when I look back I often wonder whether I should have exposed her to the world so blatantly and should I be sharing this today.  I think I did it right for today she is doing well for herself working with children. 

May be there is a mother out there who is worrying about sharing and letting people know and if you are let me say that “it’s perfectly okay’. After all it’s a cut throat competition out there that needs to be won, and I do know that it matters.  I had also somewhere along the line thought that maybe it's all my fault and that maybe I did not give enough time and attention, but remember it’s not you!  I do know it’s difficult to accept that our child is not going to make it to the top rung of the financial world like other children. After all, we all want the best future for our children and can’t seem to understand why they would choose careers in non-traditional jobs that don’t have a fast track career graph.  We, always, worry endlessly about society, what is going to happen in the future, what life will hold for them and never seem to realise that all five fingers are not the same, and when we do, time has fallen in between our fingers like sand. If only we would accept and appreciate that children today are completely aware of the immense opportunities that are out there in the world of the likes we never had dreamt of in our times.  On my part,  am glad that I never  hid in the shadows but went out there and sought answers and solutions and realised that there is always a helping hand out there and that each one of us, at the end of the day, definitely finds that  place under the sun.