MOTHER’S - ALL WE NEED TO KNOW AND DO IS.....

Every year Mother's day comes and goes like all other days, but I never stopped to wonder about its origin. I did not need to ... Mom was no more and for me that day meant missing her terribly and remembering her... I do not know what prompted me to look for facts about this... perhaps because it was that day again - January 18th - the day I lost her to an accident. Perhaps I was missing Mom more than usual today .... 

Unbelievable but true, I read that history says Mother’s Day started as an anti-war movement in the 1850s by Ann Reeves Jarvis. Ann Reeves Jarvis had initiated clubs to improve sanitary conditions, lower infant mortality and tend to wounded soldiers during the US Civil War.…. but it was her daughter Anna Jarvis was responsible for what we call Mother's Day in 1908. For Anna it wasn't a day to celebrate all mothers but a day to celebrate the best mother you have ever known and sadly it is said that she spent most of her later life fighting what it had become - a commercial event. 

No matter what history says I do believe that Mother need to be celebrated every day just because they are the one person God created to take care of things when he could not... you know that saying "God created God cannot be everywhere so he created a "MOTHER "...... 

"The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children"~ Jessica Lange 

How true is that ...let me quote a few lines from my book YOUNG AND SIXTY (Page 95)..... 
"My neighbour's words still ring in my ears saying "your Mom used to pray, take me instead".... I truly believe that God listened, because my brother-in-law did live many years thereafter, perhaps the number of years my Mom would have....... Mom was true to the word and meaning of "Mom", a selfless, loving human who sacrificed her wants and needs for her daughter..... " 

........and then there are those Hindi films ... those very filmy mothers that make mothers seem like they are meant to be sacrificing lambs to the slaughter and never ending drama queens ....that torn white saree, that frame in the hand and "Mere bete aayenge, mere Karan Arjun aayenge..zameen ki chaati phad ke aayenge, aasman ka seena cheer ke aayenge," really??? ........or then that never ending coughing mother on a sewing machine.... but then it could also be that sophisticated mom who turns and opens the door that exact moment the son is standing at the door "aaaa aa aa ..kabhi khushi kabhi gam" types......or it would be  the most favourite doting mother.... Way back in my times, all mothers were the suffering sacrificing types....and there used to be that one eternal mother in every second film, namely Nirupa Roy, with the most popular dialogue ‘Mere paas Maa hai!’ today to her credit..... then there was that ever messed up hair and unhappy faced Leela Chitnis.... that ray of hope the "aaye meri zohra jabeen" Achala Sachdev ...the dimpled Durga Khote.. and Mother India Nargis who stands out as perhaps one in very few as strong willed mother who sacrifices her son for truth...... and then there was that mother that probably no one would ever want to celebrate mother's day with, Lalita Pawar, the wicked and scheming mother+mother-in-law.... 

.....but mothers are mothers at the end of the day .... in English we say Mom, Mum, Mummy, Mommy, Mother ...in Hindi we say Maa .... in Marathi we say Aai....and believe it or not Wiki says that in Japanese the word is Okaasan or Haha (Haha? now that's a good one indeed).....and so on... No matter how we address them, they make us who we are and we need to  thank them for being there for us every step of the way... 

So you decide what's the best way to celebrate your mother.. Whether it’s a phone call (they always are waiting for that, you know),  or taking her out to lunch.......There are a million ways to celebrate her for who she is,  but end of the day, just add that little spice... words that all that all mothers need is to hear - "Thank you for all you've done for me” ...“I am glad you are MY Mom” .... and don't forget to ask her “What can I do for you?”, though I guarantee she will say "I am fine and I don't need anything".... The next coming Mother's Day think simple love..... Remember its cool to be seen with her because her unconditional love won’t stop no matter where you are ....no matter how hard you try ....or how old you ....or how far away you are living .... Remember a simple phone call if you are too far away or tight hug and a "I love you, Mom".... that's what they are waiting for... that's all I want to tell Mom (wherever you are) and that is all I am waiting for too.

A bit of Crazy!

When I posted " To all those who encourage me and applaud my madness.. a BIG Thank You..hoping to shock (hee Hee hee) and surprise (ho ho ho) with more as I continue to find ways to enjoy life king size...meet and make more friends...... after all I am retired only from a job after all !!"........... it got me thinking. Madness or being just plain crazy is definitely not a mental disorder....and if it is then disorder of what I wonder?  Can it be for loving and living out one's own beliefs or just madness for say name, place, animal or thing. 

When life gets crazy and out of control, films provide a great escape from it.  Everything is perfect as the celluloid lights up and the credit rolls. Everything is escapism till the lights go off and you realise that the fantasy has ended. Some of us manage to get back to the normal humdrum of life, while some choose to live on the fantasy to crazy proportions. "All that matters is that both sides remain loyal, which they will assuming you continue to be who you are and do your thing.” ~ Ashly Lorenzana....It does not end there as when the craze for an actor takes over, people try to emulate the style, mouth dialogues, copy dancing moves & clothes and sometimes even behave like the actors themselves. People begin to  idolise and want to be like their idols. Even the wrong doings of their favourites in the real world gets brushed under the carpet because they can do no wrong and deserve no punishment according to their fans. That indeed is one kind of "crazy

Then there are some who are so crazy about animals that they will not allow a small act against any animal go unnoticed. Nearly everyone love animals, baring a few like me, who prefer to admire them from a distance. My sister has dogs and they are a part of her family. She finds it very difficult to understand why I and my younger sister cower in a corner of her house, waiting for her dogs to settle down. I am totally mortified by a dog licking me or a cat sitting on my lap, but then that's just me. Of course, I love animals and love watching God's beautiful creatures in the wild and I am in complete awe... just so long as they are not up close. I have a whole lot of friends who take love of animals to a whole new level of professing their love or disdain for violence against animals via social media, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Their social media pages will be full of images of their pets or favourite animal or raising arms against barbaric acts against animals and of course, I will support  them. James Cromwell says "Pets are humanizing. They remind us we have an obligation and responsibility to preserve and nurture and care for all life" while George Eliot adds "Animals are such agreeable friends -- they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms"....

What can I say to someone who is mad about eating..... and then the next best thing to eating food, is talking about it. Good food on the table, eating with loved ones, cooking or just being around food... that's all that matters to them. They shop for food, they even take pictures of food. They are the best people to call on, especially when one wants to know where to eat out or even better still going out to eat with them. No worries about what to choose from the menu if they are with you. Believe me when I say that I have many a times chosen a wrong dish to experiment with.  “There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” says George Bernard Shaw ........but a crazy foodie will only proclaim “I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.”.

The one kind of madness and crazy that we really need to be careful of is - smothering love and forced competition!! I am talking about the pressures that parents are putting on children today. Competition and aiming for ranks is not what worries the children, it is the crazy pressure that is thrust upon them by the parents that makes them falter. There is a big world out there that they have to battle and bad grades makes mothers more mad. Crazy control over the child's time to study and pressure of not allowing him/her to free time is leading to social, emotional and physical stress for both the mothers and children. No matter how lofty are the goals you set for your children, end of the day it is going to depend on how your child is managing to achieve them.  "All five fingers are not the same" is a saying we've heard often enough..... but we have become blind sighted and put all energies into ensuring the child stays ahead.  Worth thinking about is this quote from Bruce Lee, “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ..... because, " At the end of the day, just know that God made you, so you can be your own individual" says Wyclef Jean.

Everyone needs a bit of madness, besides there is always a reason behind the madness. It requires loads of passion and determination beyond reasoning with a bit of restraint thrown in.  I have  loads of it in me and that keeps me optimistic that there is something more, something new out there to experience..... to live out and dream for.  I will just have to trust in my madness, whatever it may be....... because sometimes a bit of crazy is the only way to stay sane in this mad mad world.

Yes, I am a change agent

Everyone knows that I am a big entertainment buff, be it commercial cinema, theater or even a film festival showcasing short films. Hence it was not surprising that I once again this year requested my friend, Prerana, at the YES FOUNDATION to allow me to be there at their award ceremony celebrations.

Before I begin to share the heart warming experience I had, let me tell you what it is all about. YES, I am the Change is a social program of YES FOUNDATION which was launched in 2013. The initiative, which I must applaud, brings together the youth of our country to share social change that they have witnessed through the medium of short films. Everyone dreams of making films and it is this platform that spring boards the dreams of many. The initiative invites people from all walks of life to a challenge where the subject is shared 6 am in the morning and a deadline of 101-Hour begins to make your film and submit it.  Amateurs and film makers participate by making social cause films of up to 3 minutes duration and the wait for the winners begins. This year over 5 lakh entries were received by the YES FOUNDATION making it the largest movement of showcasing social causes indirectly leading to an unexplainable change in the film makers themselves turning them into change agents for society. There were multiple categories in the challenge such as the Corporate challenge, the Not-for-Profit, Student and the Open Categories making it the world’s largest social cause movement.  What further fascinated me was that all the films submitted are available for use of Not-for-Profit NGOs and associations who are unable to make films themselves to use free of cost.

The contest had ended and then came the day of the awards ceremony that bustled with life at the Nehru Centre on January 29^th where I sat looking at the smiling youth all around me. Chatting with them I realised that it had not just been about making a film and submitting it to the jury. It was now about the journey that they traversed to another world and emerging a better human being that had made them happier. The evening mood was set by an interesting panel discussion titled “Role of mindset transformation in nation building” with Meghana Gulzaar, Vikas Bahl, Jacco Cillers, Radha Kapoor and moderated by Namita Vikas. Interesting inputs from the panellists on how important it is for the media and film makers to be involved and even more on being responsible in using their power medium was an interesting take. Chief Guest Vidya Balan enthralled the audience with her thoughts on the event and referring to her experience as brand ambassador for the sanitation campaign. Director Umesh Shukla and other dignatories added charm by gracing the event.  For me a personal moment of pride was listening to my friend Prerana Langa, CEO of YES FOUNDATION taking on stage and leading her team to a beautiful culmination of a social change film making contest so lovely and well organized. 

However, that was just the end only of Day 1 as it was followed by the film festival over the next two days at the Indian School of Design and Innovation conference hall that showcased the best films of the contest.  Sadly I missed the first day due to prior commitments but  Sunday  was one of learning with interactive discussions.  Shalabh Sahai, Co-Founder and Director of iVolunteer and Tom Alter, Actor shared their thoughts and experiences in the volunteering and cinema space. It was an interesting debate with Cyrus Dastur, the founder of Shamiana Arts with Tom Alter, who suggested using real people for social awareness and documentary films; as he explained how the stance and the acting poweress stands true when you bring true to life heroes on screen to perform instead of actors.  It was indeed interesting, and a big thanks to the foundation for giving an opportunity to me and the young film makers to get up close, as it is not often one gets opportunities to interact closely with people of such caliber.

The same day, we were introduced to two film makers, Kuljeet Chaudhary and Leena Kejriwal, who last year had participated in the film challenge, which had changed their lives making them true agents of change.  Kuljeet Chaudhary, who won the last year’s Popular Choice Award for his film “Probably Paradise”, spoke about his amazing story from a night in Diwali when he and his friends decided to save animals from abuse starting with a cow whose tail was tied to fire crackers leading onto him creating a help forum on face book for animal abuse. When he was asked, what is the one thing an individual can do to help, he put it so simply and humbly “feed glucose biscuits to stray dogs”. On the other hand, here was Leena Kejriwal, an avid photographer and artist whose film became a thought process that has today started a movement she calls “MISSING”.  MISSING is an art project that brings issues of female trafficking onto our walls of public spaces with a black stencil of a girl made from iron sheets, forged and painted pitch black. The stark black stencil is hopeful of creating awareness about the millions of young girls and women who disappear from their homes and are pushed into the flesh trade in India. Both these amazing human beings are on face book.  I certainly made it a point to connect with them and am seriously contemplating how to get that stencil on a wall soon, after all I am a woman myself.

The entire day I spent there, I must have seen over twenty or more awesome films such as ‘The Stand-up Comedian’ on parent care, ‘Dua’ about elderly care, ‘Ehsaas’ about a rickshawalla who teaches act of kindness, ‘Muted’ about beggars stuck in silence forever, ‘Boxes’ about learning beyond education and many more.  It was indeed a Sunday well spent. Me, not a film maker and just an ordinary person never felt more involved and touched by the films that showcased so many causes that we never can even imagine.  It got me thinking as to how much do I contribute to society. Well, yes I do in my own small little way by volunteering with friends doing social work, but this movement got me thinking.  Films are such a powerful medium to spread the magic word and so I decided that I am going to be a change maker of sorts myself. I have started doing my bit by sharing one film every two or three days on my face book page and if I touch even ten friends a day, I think I have succeeded in creating a small little twinge in a heart somewhere…. And I am sure that somewhere, sometime, someplace that heart I touched will reach out to another and thereon another and we will be on our way to a better happier place.

Films.......Make .....remake !!!

A news item in the paper today “Twenty two years on and it’s….. “, and again remake time for Shahrukh Khan’s Darr that got me thinking.  Why would a director or an actor attempt to recreate magic that’s immortal on celluloid? Can anyone other than King Khan go K..K…K…Kiran again?? The list of remakes, however, is endless as Zanjeer becomes Zanjeer, Hero becomes Hero, Mr.India becomes Mr. X, Himaatwala becomes Himaatwala again, Golmaal becomes a Bol Bachchan, Don becomes Don again and again. Have creative juices really disappeared from the industry or is it just pure laziness or is it just let’s try it one more time. Sometimes I think yes and sometimes I think it’s neither of these and wonder.

Inspired or otherwise!!! .A remake is a remake no matter how much of mix and match you do… and hey we are still around. We are those very people who have seen the earlier version and will be around to see the new one too. Besides the remakes are claimed to be “different”  with the songs choreographed differently na, and I am expected to dance with joy?  Really, when I am sitting there thinking the steps of the song is so unconnected to the words!!! So what if the hero is singing “chunaari chunaari” and there is no chunaari seen for miles.. I ask why, oh why does the ever melodramatic sick mother, or villain taking the sister hostage, two best friends fighting over one girl and illogical sequences that is so Bollywood go missing….. And either use the original songs to revive the magic (we are alive you know yet) otherwise please do spare us unnecessary tracks and definitely do not add item numbers.  It’s too repetitive, distracting the storyline, boring and a waste of time and today everyone is in a rush.

If makers do not understand the heart of the film and what made it tick, obviously a remake is bound to fail. After all it’s we, the audience that kept the memories alive of favourite bits of the movie you chose to rehash, re-cook and serve it up again.  You should realise, that a movie in its totality is very rarely loved. It’s a song, a dance move, a dialogue, a scene, an actor that make it all a success and memory, so  careful when you cut, edit  or try to visually recreate the magic. Then there is that belief that the actor will use his own mannerisms,  his style and persona to give a dialogue/film a new look but that too, my friend, can fail miserably. Remember what “Jab tak baithne ko na kaha jaaye sharafat se khade raho ... yeh police station hai ... tumhare baap ka ghar nahi” sounded like when Amitabh Bachchan said it (shivers down the spine) and then here comes Ram Charan Teja… and need I say more!!!!

History sometimes however does repeat itself too and remakes do perform superbly such as Agneepath, Don, Devdas. Why? Simple, it was Hritik and Shaharukh !!!!! These films did justice to the characters and the story of the originals and the casting was just right. Then we have the disastrous ones, remade from English movies such as a Kante/Reservoir Dogs, Ek Ajnabee/ Man on Fire, The Killer/Collateral, God Tussi Great Ho/Bruce Almighty. Obviously the makers think “kaun dekhta hoga yeh sab English, Korean, Japanese films” and that too in the far flung remote areas of our country, but guess you forgot about that up to date net savvy urban audience.  I somehow do believe, remakes are for sharing with the younger generation the magic of cinematic success in a revised format true to times of today….but if you are thinking that you have cracked it then just don’t forget with the advent of the internet every movie is out there and being watched and so easily connected to what is being seen on celluloid.  Imitation is the best form of flattery and re-hashing the drama just because the film is in another age and time zone justified. Yes, I got that, but at end of the day I am going to compare?

That is when I begin to question and ask, what is the need for me to watch the same old wine in a new bottle?  Why would I want to see some young actor rehash and crush my memories of say an Amitabh Bacchan in Zanjeer or Don?  So what if the hero is singing in the valleys of Switzerland instead of the Film City sets or cars are flying into the sky instead of rolling down a hill …and so what if hero is throwing twenty people into the air to fall in slow motion instead of breaking through brick walls in the studio……End of the day, a remake is a remake…..is a remake.

LIGHTS....CAMERA....ACTION.............

Rolling down a hill, dangling from a wire,

Falling from a tree top, jumping over fire

Rehearsals and retakes over and over again

Its hard work, no fun and lots of pain

Hand under the head, arm over shoulder

Raise it a little higher, drop the boulder

Oh god! Take the shot, there goes the sun

Dab the war paint, fire that gun,

Hot sand, warm breeze, swaying trees

Summersault in the lake, ride the seas

Hit and flip, swing high, slap the face

Break an arm, lift the sword,hold that gaze

Tears flowing,now laugh a little more

Much more punch needed here for sure

Change the angle, pan to the side

Little to the left, no to the right, slightly wide

Make-up, costumes, fittings and props

Make believe villages, houses and shops

Editing, post production, final cut, edit done

Now the time for finding a place under the sun

  

Friday release, will it hit or flop

Wait till the curtain drops

Back to the storyboard once again

It’s the passion for the game!!

Lights camera action