My mind has a mind of its own!!!

My mind has a mind of its own!  It most certainly does.. It never stops talking and that second track that mostly sings.. But what do you do when your mind doesn't stop singing and playing antakshri.. when you try hard to make it stop and tell it to allow you to sleep but it won't... Forget it, I've told 'stop' to myself often  enough and after all what  worst can happen. Well nothing I can think of for sure... And what is the best that can happen. Hey, I can win an Antakshri competition for sure. The last thoughts in your mind before you sleep turn into dreams and often return to you in the morning when you wake. Thoughts during the day build up into a chatter in your mind and it's all that anxiety, fear, unanswered questions, confusion,  judgment, etc. they say.... In my case it's just not any of this because there is no one to judge, no fears, no confusion. I am retired and free to do as I please so then what??

So how do I stop talking to myself or singing that song over and over and over again..... should I tell my mind to wander elsewhere, perhaps start solving word puzzles (which I do) or meditate or turn to spirituality to calm my racing over active mind. Did I say meditate? Did I say turn to spirituality? Let me quote something I wrote in my book YOUNG AND SIXTY (do pick a copy!!) and it's just about me with due respect to others. 

"My friends often suggest I consider yoga, art of living, meditation and I would like to think that it is my spiritual growth they are talking about. I definitely make it a point to strike them off my friends list, if they just mean to say, "you are old now and so you should". Some of us see it as a spiritual journey that should begin, while some prefer to journey into the past and reflect about what is still to come. As the years pass, a fear of the unknown grows stronger by the day and we begin to lean on God.  If it were really possible to talk to God today, what would you say to Him and would He even bother to listen? I do not know what you feel about this but I am a firm believer in talking to God. I fight with him too on a regular basis and I firmly believe that he listens to me. Yet for someone like me who believes in the power of prayer, I still can't see myself meditating or sitting in silence."

Then when I am singing or talking to God, is it because of stress. Let me quote my thoughts from my book yet again...

"The only way to handling stress is perhaps to control that wandering and over imaginative mind. It is not at all easy, because mine never stops talking to me even when I lay my head on my pillow at night. I keep running over conversations in my head and in the morning I find myself remembering all the conversations that I have had and with whom. I can be a little nuts at times, but that’s fine by me as it is not impacting how I feel or behave. Talking to myself is actually my way of clearing my cobwebs. I love talking to myself and in fact it helps me write my stories and scripts better too."

Google search says that psychologists believe they have figured out exactly why certain songs tend to stick in our heads more than others. The phenomenon according to them is called 'involuntary musical imagery' more commonly known as “earworms.” .... Earworms????? Oh yes, I do most certainly have loads of those keedas in my head, but they are mostly about getting out there, having fun and making new friends and memories. Then it is also said that singing and talking to yourself isn't just normal but it is good for your mental health too... That's good the hear. So I guess I am okay looking at things differently, making up weird questions and think up even weirder answers to that in my head. Again quoting from my book... Well, I have written one so why not?..  and it has all these thoughts on living life in the now, so yeah, why not? Have you ever tried having mental fights with people who make you miserable. I advise you to do that. I do that all the time, especially when I don't want to argue standing there and then with that irrational person. I just simply go home, have these big mental fights in my head with that person in my mind at night. I know that if I did that face to face, it might make it worst, so it's just me and my mind arguing it out with that person in my head till I am spent.... and soon I find myself letting go and then it just does not matter anymore.

I love to meet people, make friends, love to touch hearts and keep on wandering to seize more opportunities on the way. So what's up with me and what's my mind up to? Should I be worried? I thinknot for I think I've got it. We are just happy talking and singing together to release this too much energy I have these days after retirement.... With a mix of singing and talking....arguments and decisions... I think we are doing just fine. There is nothing wrong with my mind having a mind of its own.... AND ofcourse my heart has a heart of its own too, but that is another story....

.................and so it's time for that dramatic moment overused phrase in movies I'd like to say to you, "If anyone has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace".

#LetsWalk, an initiative to promote health and fitness

An invitation to participate in a beach walk to promote health is honestly something I never saw myself agree to doing. #LetsWalk - Beach Walk, the initiative "your health in your hands" to promote health and fitness got me out of bed on September 2nd, that too on a Sunday; the day I refuse to get up early.  I landed up at Juhu Beach and found myself  enjoying a great morning at the beach and even more so because I found myself screaming out in joy. Everywhere I turned, I found a friend was there too and that was truly uplifting and awesome. 

The walk was organised by Moushumi Pal founder of Woodpecker Media, a consulting company catering to conceptualised events, transformational digital marketing strategies and creative brand design and Dr. Bhavi Mody, a postgraduate with over two decades of clinical experience in providing Holistic Healing and Founder and Director at Vrudhi Holistic Health Care. The event had a participation of over 150 health enthusiasts, started with a round of Yoga (me and yoga. Wow! I did that too), was followed by a 2 km walk on the beach. Fun childhood games such as tug-of-war, passing the parcel and thumbs-up that we have all played as children were a part of the event to bring back that magic into their lives.

I love to interview people and talk to them about their initiatives. so it was obvious that I found myself interviewing these wonderful ladies live on face book. Talking to me about the initiative, Moushumi said "We want to touch lives. We want inclusion. What Dr. Bhavi Mody advocates is making things very simple to follow, like eat less, sleep less, breathe well, things we forget in mundane routine of today's life styles we have. Then gradually I started thinking how can we make it more engaging and that's is why we thought of organising the first walk. We wanted everyone from all walks of life to come out in the fresh air. We want to do it at different locations now. First one was a nature walk and this our second one which is the beach walk."

Dr. Bhavi Mody adds, "This initiative is to help you stress on little changes that you can get into your everyday life to make your life more healthy. Mission #StayHealthyStayHappy is what we believe in. We started out in December last year. As Moushumi mentioned, the first walk that happened was a nature walk at Sanjay Gandhi National Park and today we are on the beach. Next who knows where. Maybe the mountains".

The first walk organised by them was on June 3, 2018. It was an educational 2 km walk around Borivali National Park and I must admit  even though I was invited to that one too, I was just too lazy to get out of bed. What I missed was an opportunity to learn about various species of flora and fauna along with the environmentalists there and more importantly an opportunity to click loads of photos (which is my passion).  I am never missing another walk ever again for sure.

At the end of the walk the participants were given refreshments and goody bags. Each one of us had been given a T-shirt too before the walk.  Eminent power women such as Pinky Rajgharhia (Mrs Universe Business lady 2017, Mrs Asia 2017, Mrs Fitness 2016, Social Activist), Gehna Mehra (Writer & Entrepreneur), Nabomita Mazumdar (Businesswoman  and Speaker for Future of Work, HR, Startup, Women and Business, Social media and Technology), Nidhika Bahl (Celebrity Life Coach), Savneet Kaur  (Vice Chair,  ALL) and Daulatbi Khan (Acid Survivors Saahas Foundation) participated in the walk to support the initiative.

I must admit that I am not much of a health freak,  but the walk did not help me to realise the value of being outdoors. I realised that morning, that I had also bonded and shared so much more with my friends there and even though I could not walk for long (I have painful knees, you see), it was lovely to be out breathing in the fresh air. A big thank you to Moushumi for inviting me to join and cheers to you and your team mates, Ridhi Doshi and Sonu Bajaj for a well organised event.  

I can happily say that the event was not just  #LetsWalk but a lovely #FriendshipWalk for me and that I am looking forward to the next one too.

Connect on FB page for joining the next walk: 

www.facebook.com/groups/vrudhihwc

Death is not a joke or can it be!!!

Standing outside a peaceful chapel resounding with a heartfelt chorus at a funeral made me wonder 'What goes on in the mind of a person when he/she watches death up close?'..... I watched them all stand tall but tearful as my heart bumped with a damn, you are old yourself....hopefully the chances of me being murdered are very small....so what next?..... Oh no, not too soon, I told myself because there is a lot more I want to do this life yet.

My thoughts went back to the death of someone in my in-laws family many many moons ago. In fact it was the first death I saw up close after my granny died when we were quite young. My dad believed life was meant to live and not cry over death too long. I remember had put on the TV the next day after the funeral. So I just could not understand why some were beating their chests and crying like no tomorrow for someone they hardly ever knew or cared about before.... It looked like a scene out of a Hindi film for me as I stood there with a laughter bubbling up inside me. I remember I rushed out of the room to hide behind a door and laugh uncontrollably...Really!!! was I mad, I thought to myself, or was it just my mechanism to accept death. I recently only admitted this to my sister-in-law and warned her that if I ever start to laugh at death please tell people not to be shocked...after all I'm that madcap that can burst out laughing in grief too!!

So then what makes me tick-tock on. Is it no fear of death itself, or just shoving aside thoughts of death or just a morbid fear of dying persons. Yeah, I think it is the later!  I can't handle hospitals and funerals. I turns me to stone.  Maybe I am terribly practical vs. emotional or hiding my hand under the sand.... How can I fear something that is not in my hand?  I like to think that I am invincible. Silly thoughts will only add to my worry so for better or worst, I think that what I may be dreading is not what I want to dwell on ever. After all who knows... death may not be as unpleasant as one imagines it to be,  but on second thoughts.. if I am dead, I am dead. How does it matter to me... Morbid? no just practical old me.  Think about it.

In fact sometimes there is just no explanation as to why the healthiest person on earth or a young person leaves the earth? I wonder if then if staying healthy removes risk of death..maybe to some extent but when the time comes, well !!!  so let those fries and burgers keep coming... and what's that about "rest assured that your memory will live on after you die if you help the world" ...that's definitely not gonna stay for long.. Then we all know that memories are short and people will move on.... you have to, if you have to survive the mad rush and tensions of this world.  So get out of here, cause if you remember me fine, if you don't its fine too.  I'm not coming back to haunt you, right !!  

But then, Tupac Shakur said "I don't have no fear of death. My only fear is coming back reincarnated."...   hmmmmm, nice !!! I just might ..... Well, till then, guess I'm just going to keep on experimenting with life and new opportunities, for today I'm still alive and kicking!!!

Dear Friend, face-to-face, please !!

Recently, I attended an event organised by BeHiver, a group that says "Let's start talking again. Conversations. Meaningful conversations".....What a beautiful concept to say "humanising conversations".... (and hey, like BeHiver on facebook)..... The beauty of the event was that it had just the right number of people. In fact, just right to get to know each other and bond.  Funny story or should I say "happy story"... while I was waiting for the event to start, sitting there chatting about movies and sundry with the BeHiver team, a young boy on the next table just happily joined in our conversation. Not necessary to say that our conversation became livelier, and we shared so much and hey, I made a new friend right there.... and at the event, too. That is the magic of talking face-to-face, and that got me thinking!!!

Life has indeed become a pillar to post run that never seems to end. Everyone seems to be talking about not having the time to do things they love and putting things on the back burner. There is no time  to meet people to connect face-to-face but then thank God for the mobile and the social media, they say !!   I really wonder if that is enough. I am, however, just a big believer in face-to-face meetings that lead to friendships forever. One day I had this wild thought of writing on my face book wall "Hi, we've met here on the FB wall often, but I would like to actually see you, meet you personally. I am going to be at (place) on (date) at (time). Drop in and lets connect over tea"... Of course, a friend flew off the handle and cautioned me, calling me nuts for sending out an open invitation to not just friends but maybe other nuts out there. I wonder, if maybe I had sent that note out, then today some of my friends would have stepped out of the FB page to meet me in person.  I might have just made my connects much stronger. Besides, honestly I am one of those who can't really put a face to the voice and I think most will agree.  That voice on the phone can throw me off cause my imagination definitely runs wild and voices don't match their appearances at all. They never do!!! I have been told this about my voice too...... a number of times.... so it is better that you meet me soon, in person, and be prepared to be shocked !!!

Then it is not absolutely true that people don't meet. Walk down to any of the coffee shops and you will see all ages bonding. With long working hours, the constraints to meet are definitely there. Exhaustion after work with no inclination to dress up to go out, all one craves for is to curl up on the bed and use social media to stay connected. I've realised that it is not just about making friends or meeting people these days. The whole world is on remote, whether marketing, socialising, connecting or even friendship. You don't need to "be there" but then you are "there" too. You call someone and it may take you just five seconds to put them on "whose listening" mode.  It happens to all of us, right. That mobile in the hand, someone at the other end and hey, there you go... zoning out and doing something else.

Remote communication has become the norm today. Conversations on phone are much like marketing calls. I don't need to know what you are doing at that moment or what is going on inside that head of yours. That voice on the phone steers you, owns you and takes you sometimes to a place of no return. If that same someone had been sitting in front of you, you might have had more questions to ask...more time to look into those eyes.... maybe... just maybe you could have escaped the power of being pushed in the corner to do or concede to something you never wanted to!! Face-to-face conversations give you that power.  You don't need to wait for other person to finish before you talk. You can jump right in to debate, argue, disagree, share thoughts, stories and discuss everything that makes you want to sit around more.

My retirement days too are on remote with facebook, twitter, etc. but I make it a point to get out more than most do, attending workshops, meeting friends, etc. In fact too much but then that's just crazy me, who loves to meet and greet.  Why do you think today the gardens are blooming with happy seniors walking, talking, interacting and sitting on benches enjoying life. Everyone needs someone to talk with, to vent frustrations, to interact, to get opinions. Don't you just yearn for that see-you-again hug... I definitely do... Social media, the saviour today but tomorrow people at the other end may just not be around. Friends and family too and though some may not realise it today meeting up is as important as a meal each day. All you need is one happy face, one smile, one conversation....that warm hug goodbye and you've made a memory too with no regrets in future to say "I wish I had met him/her but it is too late now".

So, call on me....let's meet face-to-face, laugh, share, argue, disagree and crib together too....... I'm waiting !!!

=========================

Oh no, not again she said , God! Mom

Another lecture, are you never done.

Lecture I must, Mom said, cause life is scary

Unpredictable, Tensions are many

Life for you is from pillar to post

When did you last float paper boats

Dance in the rain or take a walk

Sat by the sea with friends to talk

Watch the sunset, see birds fly

Look up and marvel at the starry sky

You've no time to hear birds sing

Life is just a big boxing ring

Facebook, Instagram, 140 characters tweets

Don't you miss your friend's voices, so sweet

Stop breathe, take a walk, sing

Say hello to nature, see what joy it brings

For when like me, you're old and grey

You'll wish you went out to play

A bit of Crazy!

When I posted " To all those who encourage me and applaud my madness.. a BIG Thank You..hoping to shock (hee Hee hee) and surprise (ho ho ho) with more as I continue to find ways to enjoy life king size...meet and make more friends...... after all I am retired only from a job after all !!"........... it got me thinking. Madness or being just plain crazy is definitely not a mental disorder....and if it is then disorder of what I wonder?  Can it be for loving and living out one's own beliefs or just madness for say name, place, animal or thing. 

When life gets crazy and out of control, films provide a great escape from it.  Everything is perfect as the celluloid lights up and the credit rolls. Everything is escapism till the lights go off and you realise that the fantasy has ended. Some of us manage to get back to the normal humdrum of life, while some choose to live on the fantasy to crazy proportions. "All that matters is that both sides remain loyal, which they will assuming you continue to be who you are and do your thing.” ~ Ashly Lorenzana....It does not end there as when the craze for an actor takes over, people try to emulate the style, mouth dialogues, copy dancing moves & clothes and sometimes even behave like the actors themselves. People begin to  idolise and want to be like their idols. Even the wrong doings of their favourites in the real world gets brushed under the carpet because they can do no wrong and deserve no punishment according to their fans. That indeed is one kind of "crazy

Then there are some who are so crazy about animals that they will not allow a small act against any animal go unnoticed. Nearly everyone love animals, baring a few like me, who prefer to admire them from a distance. My sister has dogs and they are a part of her family. She finds it very difficult to understand why I and my younger sister cower in a corner of her house, waiting for her dogs to settle down. I am totally mortified by a dog licking me or a cat sitting on my lap, but then that's just me. Of course, I love animals and love watching God's beautiful creatures in the wild and I am in complete awe... just so long as they are not up close. I have a whole lot of friends who take love of animals to a whole new level of professing their love or disdain for violence against animals via social media, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Their social media pages will be full of images of their pets or favourite animal or raising arms against barbaric acts against animals and of course, I will support  them. James Cromwell says "Pets are humanizing. They remind us we have an obligation and responsibility to preserve and nurture and care for all life" while George Eliot adds "Animals are such agreeable friends -- they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms"....

What can I say to someone who is mad about eating..... and then the next best thing to eating food, is talking about it. Good food on the table, eating with loved ones, cooking or just being around food... that's all that matters to them. They shop for food, they even take pictures of food. They are the best people to call on, especially when one wants to know where to eat out or even better still going out to eat with them. No worries about what to choose from the menu if they are with you. Believe me when I say that I have many a times chosen a wrong dish to experiment with.  “There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” says George Bernard Shaw ........but a crazy foodie will only proclaim “I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food.”.

The one kind of madness and crazy that we really need to be careful of is - smothering love and forced competition!! I am talking about the pressures that parents are putting on children today. Competition and aiming for ranks is not what worries the children, it is the crazy pressure that is thrust upon them by the parents that makes them falter. There is a big world out there that they have to battle and bad grades makes mothers more mad. Crazy control over the child's time to study and pressure of not allowing him/her to free time is leading to social, emotional and physical stress for both the mothers and children. No matter how lofty are the goals you set for your children, end of the day it is going to depend on how your child is managing to achieve them.  "All five fingers are not the same" is a saying we've heard often enough..... but we have become blind sighted and put all energies into ensuring the child stays ahead.  Worth thinking about is this quote from Bruce Lee, “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” ..... because, " At the end of the day, just know that God made you, so you can be your own individual" says Wyclef Jean.

Everyone needs a bit of madness, besides there is always a reason behind the madness. It requires loads of passion and determination beyond reasoning with a bit of restraint thrown in.  I have  loads of it in me and that keeps me optimistic that there is something more, something new out there to experience..... to live out and dream for.  I will just have to trust in my madness, whatever it may be....... because sometimes a bit of crazy is the only way to stay sane in this mad mad world.

Fitness...living it king-size

I have always wondered what the future will hold for if I continue living the life the way you do. Things are not the same anymore, right from the way people behave with each other, towards nature, the food chain, even the air we breathe. As for me I am just a few years, if not a few minutes, from disaster. I have thrown away the key and closed my eyes to worrying if I will live through the next day. Why? Simple I am living life king size each day!!

All around me people are pumping away their physical self and even their diet is causing the food chain to worry about their own existence. There are of course others who just lack the drive, ahem a bit like me, not really caring when a film star turned size 0 or 6 packs. Mujhe kya karna hai..as if Karan Johar or Abbas Mastaan or Sohail Khan are  waiting around the corner to sign me on with Amitabh Bachchan…(kaash!!!)..

Anyways, it may seem a bit silly to most as to why I don’t care as all around us the war cry of “staying healthy and fit” rings. Pray, why ? for what? After all its just this one life na…Char din ki zindagani...and besides these days I am singing “Teri hai zameen, tera aasma..tu joh chahe toh hame rakhe..tu chahe toh hame mare…..so is worrying going to help…Yeah yeah, I know if I take care of myself then I can live a healthy life and maybe live longer and not suffer…..is anyone out there giving me a guarantee??? No na, so then why can’t I believe that if you have the will to live, the will to be happy, the will to do good for others then the body is healthier than any of those you put posters up in your room.. Can I then counsel others to make their life more fulfilling? Is this the question also ringing in your mind, then it’s time for  Ma Hira  to guide you? Hey who said I have to practice what I preach. Preaching is an art and not many can do that remember. I can always preach but not practice. So lets take this one step at time. Taking the first step is always the toughest and giving up? That’s easy. So do I exercise..yes..I went for Shaimak Davar classes for over 14 years and enjoyed every class..made new friends…loose weight?  Nahin re..that did not happen at all. Naturally because I was in the highest of spirits and happy…So  do I jog? Of course, each day 5 miles...in my dreams of course!!!!..Forget about how many minutes of exercise people tell you that you need and just fit in as much as you can into your day. It’s your body and your heart and no matter how you get it, whether by just sweeping the house or watching television, aarey believe me, any physical activity will help de-stress, burn those unwanted calories, and will definitely make the heart race like a big drum…pant pant pant….…Sleep well because it’s proven that that lack of sleep increases hunger pangs and trigger overeating. On the other hand, leave the eating of nutritious meals once in a while with the family over fun conversations about each other’s boring boring daily routines. Okay that does it..enough about the healthy lifestyle gyaan… Let me share what makes me tick and stay upbeat and content. Its finding happiness in achievements of others, it’s all about laughter, positivity and being there for my dear ones be it friend or family always in whatever they want to do. I am happy when my husband sings on stage, I am happy when my friends come with me to encourage him, I am happy when a friend gets a big role in a film or serial, I am happy when someone achieves something they wished for. Even thought I am still struggling with starting a second innings and no one is helping!!! hmmmm! So be it. The key to good health is simple..finding happiness in every little moment of your life..Most importantly, whenever with friends, don’t be afraid to laugh out loud. Who cares if those sitting on the tables around you give you the “you manner less people” look.  Obviously they have not yet learnt to laugh or live life or don’t have mad friends like I do.  Hastu ha,lifestylesr daam..khushiyan ya gam.. Remember the saying “two men looked out of the prison window. One saw mud the other saw stars”.  So if you are already doing that..yeah and more power to you! If not, then why wait? Spread the smiles and watch them come back right at you!! Death will come but once. Life is a breeze..blow along!!