Saturday 30 March 2019

My mind has a mind of its own!!!



My mind has a mind of its own!  It most certainly does.. It never stops talking and that second track that mostly sings.. But what do you do when your mind doesn't stop singing and playing antakshri.. when you try hard to make it stop and tell it to allow you to sleep but it won't... Forget it, I've told 'stop' to myself often  enough and after all what  worst can happen. Well nothing I can think of for sure... And what is the best that can happen. Hey, I can win an Antakshri competition for sure. The last thoughts in your mind before you sleep turn into dreams and often return to you in the morning when you wake. Thoughts during the day build up into a chatter in your mind and it's all that anxiety, fear, unanswered questions, confusion,  judgment, etc. they say.... In my case it's just not any of this because there is no one to judge, no fears, no confusion. I am retired and free to do as I please so then what??

So how do I stop talking to myself or singing that song over and over and over again..... should I tell my mind to wander elsewhere, perhaps start solving word puzzles (which I do) or meditate or turn to spirituality to calm my racing over active mind. Did I say meditate? Did I say turn to spirituality? Let me quote something I wrote in my book YOUNG AND SIXTY (do pick a copy!!) and it's just about me with due respect to others. 

"My friends often suggest I consider yoga, art of living, meditation and I would like to think that it is my spiritual growth they are talking about. I definitely make it a point to strike them off my friends list, if they just mean to say, "you are old now and so you should". Some of us see it as a spiritual journey that should begin, while some prefer to journey into the past and reflect about what is still to come. As the years pass, a fear of the unknown grows stronger by the day and we begin to lean on God.  If it were really possible to talk to God today, what would you say to Him and would He even bother to listen? I do not know what you feel about this but I am a firm believer in talking to God. I fight with him too on a regular basis and I firmly believe that he listens to me. Yet for someone like me who believes in the power of prayer, I still can't see myself meditating or sitting in silence."

Then when I am singing or talking to God, is it because of stress. Let me quote my thoughts from my book yet again...

"The only way to handling stress is perhaps to control that wandering and over imaginative mind. It is not at all easy, because mine never stops talking to me even when I lay my head on my pillow at night. I keep running over conversations in my head and in the morning I find myself remembering all the conversations that I have had and with whom. I can be a little nuts at times, but that’s fine by me as it is not impacting how I feel or behave. Talking to myself is actually my way of clearing my cobwebs. I love talking to myself and in fact it helps me write my stories and scripts better too."

Google search says that psychologists believe they have figured out exactly why certain songs tend to stick in our heads more than others. The phenomenon according to them is called 'involuntary musical imagery' more commonly known as “earworms.” .... Earworms????? Oh yes, I do most certainly have loads of those keedas in my head, but they are mostly about getting out there, having fun and making new friends and memories. Then it is also said that singing and talking to yourself isn't just normal but it is good for your mental health too... That's good the hear. So I guess I am okay looking at things differently, making up weird questions and think up even weirder answers to that in my head. Again quoting from my book... Well, I have written one so why not?..  and it has all these thoughts on living life in the now, so yeah, why not? Have you ever tried having mental fights with people who make you miserable. I advise you to do that. I do that all the time, especially when I don't want to argue standing there and then with that irrational person. I just simply go home, have these big mental fights in my head with that person in my mind at night. I know that if I did that face to face, it might make it worst, so it's just me and my mind arguing it out with that person in my head till I am spent.... and soon I find myself letting go and then it just does not matter anymore.

I love to meet people, make friends, love to touch hearts and keep on wandering to seize more opportunities on the way. So what's up with me and what's my mind up to? Should I be worried? I thinknot for I think I've got it. We are just happy talking and singing together to release this too much energy I have these days after retirement.... With a mix of singing and talking....arguments and decisions... I think we are doing just fine. There is nothing wrong with my mind having a mind of its own.... AND ofcourse my heart has a heart of its own too, but that is another story....
.................and so it's time for that dramatic moment overused phrase in movies I'd like to say to you, "If anyone has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace".




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