My mind has a mind of its own!!!

My mind has a mind of its own!  It most certainly does.. It never stops talking and that second track that mostly sings.. But what do you do when your mind doesn't stop singing and playing antakshri.. when you try hard to make it stop and tell it to allow you to sleep but it won't... Forget it, I've told 'stop' to myself often  enough and after all what  worst can happen. Well nothing I can think of for sure... And what is the best that can happen. Hey, I can win an Antakshri competition for sure. The last thoughts in your mind before you sleep turn into dreams and often return to you in the morning when you wake. Thoughts during the day build up into a chatter in your mind and it's all that anxiety, fear, unanswered questions, confusion,  judgment, etc. they say.... In my case it's just not any of this because there is no one to judge, no fears, no confusion. I am retired and free to do as I please so then what??

So how do I stop talking to myself or singing that song over and over and over again..... should I tell my mind to wander elsewhere, perhaps start solving word puzzles (which I do) or meditate or turn to spirituality to calm my racing over active mind. Did I say meditate? Did I say turn to spirituality? Let me quote something I wrote in my book YOUNG AND SIXTY (do pick a copy!!) and it's just about me with due respect to others. 

"My friends often suggest I consider yoga, art of living, meditation and I would like to think that it is my spiritual growth they are talking about. I definitely make it a point to strike them off my friends list, if they just mean to say, "you are old now and so you should". Some of us see it as a spiritual journey that should begin, while some prefer to journey into the past and reflect about what is still to come. As the years pass, a fear of the unknown grows stronger by the day and we begin to lean on God.  If it were really possible to talk to God today, what would you say to Him and would He even bother to listen? I do not know what you feel about this but I am a firm believer in talking to God. I fight with him too on a regular basis and I firmly believe that he listens to me. Yet for someone like me who believes in the power of prayer, I still can't see myself meditating or sitting in silence."

Then when I am singing or talking to God, is it because of stress. Let me quote my thoughts from my book yet again...

"The only way to handling stress is perhaps to control that wandering and over imaginative mind. It is not at all easy, because mine never stops talking to me even when I lay my head on my pillow at night. I keep running over conversations in my head and in the morning I find myself remembering all the conversations that I have had and with whom. I can be a little nuts at times, but that’s fine by me as it is not impacting how I feel or behave. Talking to myself is actually my way of clearing my cobwebs. I love talking to myself and in fact it helps me write my stories and scripts better too."

Google search says that psychologists believe they have figured out exactly why certain songs tend to stick in our heads more than others. The phenomenon according to them is called 'involuntary musical imagery' more commonly known as “earworms.” .... Earworms????? Oh yes, I do most certainly have loads of those keedas in my head, but they are mostly about getting out there, having fun and making new friends and memories. Then it is also said that singing and talking to yourself isn't just normal but it is good for your mental health too... That's good the hear. So I guess I am okay looking at things differently, making up weird questions and think up even weirder answers to that in my head. Again quoting from my book... Well, I have written one so why not?..  and it has all these thoughts on living life in the now, so yeah, why not? Have you ever tried having mental fights with people who make you miserable. I advise you to do that. I do that all the time, especially when I don't want to argue standing there and then with that irrational person. I just simply go home, have these big mental fights in my head with that person in my mind at night. I know that if I did that face to face, it might make it worst, so it's just me and my mind arguing it out with that person in my head till I am spent.... and soon I find myself letting go and then it just does not matter anymore.

I love to meet people, make friends, love to touch hearts and keep on wandering to seize more opportunities on the way. So what's up with me and what's my mind up to? Should I be worried? I thinknot for I think I've got it. We are just happy talking and singing together to release this too much energy I have these days after retirement.... With a mix of singing and talking....arguments and decisions... I think we are doing just fine. There is nothing wrong with my mind having a mind of its own.... AND ofcourse my heart has a heart of its own too, but that is another story....

.................and so it's time for that dramatic moment overused phrase in movies I'd like to say to you, "If anyone has any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace".

Friendship " QUOTE- UNQUOTE" line up

My mom had a fascination of  reading and then writing down in a note book all the quotes that she loved. That book  in her own handwriting is now a fond memory with us three sisters. I guess that is where I got my passion for writing quotes which I write an upload on my social media almost every day.... and you what I realised?  That there were so many quotes out there by people from around the globe, that I could actually write a whole blog just using those quotes in a proper sequence and by just adding a few words (those you see in italics)  to string  it together... so  this is what my love for quotes inspired me to do... Here goes one on "Friendship"...

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one^{."(~C.S, Lewis).}   ... "No friendship is an accident." ^{(~ O.Henry)}. but 'Making a friend and maintaining a friendship are two different things. Be picky about who you keep around you. Personalities, words and traits do rub of naturally' ^{(~Sonya Teclai, the Goodvibe.co).}  'It is important to make friendships that are deeper than gossiping, drinking and going out.  Make friends who can you can go out with, make friends you can cry with, make friends who support your life goals and believe in you' ^{(~Word Porn)..} 'Anyone that encourages intellectual, emotional, artistic or spiritual growth is worth keeping. Don't let them go' ^{(~Dau-CosmicExtensions).} So it is simple, “Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.” ^{(~Thomas J. Watson).} After all it is said that, 'Friends are the siblings God never gave us. ^(~Mencius). and that "Friends are born, not made' ^{(~Henry Adams)} ... Think about it. "God gives us relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends". ^{(~Addison Mizner)}.  'Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to is letting a person be what he/she really is' ^{(~Jim Morrison)....} because  "A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else "^{(~ Unknown).}

"Friends should be like books, few, but hand-selected." ^{(~C.J. Langenhoven)...} More importantly it is true that,  “If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.” ^{(~ Zig Ziglar).} Even then,  "I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.”^{(~Plutarch). ).} It is therefore better to remember that  “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” ^{(~Martin Luther King, Jr.)}  So, "If you wanna find out who's a true friend, screw up or go through a challenging time.. then see who sticks around." ^{(~Karen Salmonsohn)}

Let me end with one of my own thoughts about friendship.

"Friendship is not something you learn in school.

But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship,

you really haven't learned anything. There comes a

moment in life when one must acknowledge

that some friends will hurt you, intentionally and

sometimes unintentionally too...It is then best to

either keep quiet and forget about it....or move on !!"

Dear Friend, face-to-face, please !!

Recently, I attended an event organised by BeHiver, a group that says "Let's start talking again. Conversations. Meaningful conversations".....What a beautiful concept to say "humanising conversations".... (and hey, like BeHiver on facebook)..... The beauty of the event was that it had just the right number of people. In fact, just right to get to know each other and bond.  Funny story or should I say "happy story"... while I was waiting for the event to start, sitting there chatting about movies and sundry with the BeHiver team, a young boy on the next table just happily joined in our conversation. Not necessary to say that our conversation became livelier, and we shared so much and hey, I made a new friend right there.... and at the event, too. That is the magic of talking face-to-face, and that got me thinking!!!

Life has indeed become a pillar to post run that never seems to end. Everyone seems to be talking about not having the time to do things they love and putting things on the back burner. There is no time  to meet people to connect face-to-face but then thank God for the mobile and the social media, they say !!   I really wonder if that is enough. I am, however, just a big believer in face-to-face meetings that lead to friendships forever. One day I had this wild thought of writing on my face book wall "Hi, we've met here on the FB wall often, but I would like to actually see you, meet you personally. I am going to be at (place) on (date) at (time). Drop in and lets connect over tea"... Of course, a friend flew off the handle and cautioned me, calling me nuts for sending out an open invitation to not just friends but maybe other nuts out there. I wonder, if maybe I had sent that note out, then today some of my friends would have stepped out of the FB page to meet me in person.  I might have just made my connects much stronger. Besides, honestly I am one of those who can't really put a face to the voice and I think most will agree.  That voice on the phone can throw me off cause my imagination definitely runs wild and voices don't match their appearances at all. They never do!!! I have been told this about my voice too...... a number of times.... so it is better that you meet me soon, in person, and be prepared to be shocked !!!

Then it is not absolutely true that people don't meet. Walk down to any of the coffee shops and you will see all ages bonding. With long working hours, the constraints to meet are definitely there. Exhaustion after work with no inclination to dress up to go out, all one craves for is to curl up on the bed and use social media to stay connected. I've realised that it is not just about making friends or meeting people these days. The whole world is on remote, whether marketing, socialising, connecting or even friendship. You don't need to "be there" but then you are "there" too. You call someone and it may take you just five seconds to put them on "whose listening" mode.  It happens to all of us, right. That mobile in the hand, someone at the other end and hey, there you go... zoning out and doing something else.

Remote communication has become the norm today. Conversations on phone are much like marketing calls. I don't need to know what you are doing at that moment or what is going on inside that head of yours. That voice on the phone steers you, owns you and takes you sometimes to a place of no return. If that same someone had been sitting in front of you, you might have had more questions to ask...more time to look into those eyes.... maybe... just maybe you could have escaped the power of being pushed in the corner to do or concede to something you never wanted to!! Face-to-face conversations give you that power.  You don't need to wait for other person to finish before you talk. You can jump right in to debate, argue, disagree, share thoughts, stories and discuss everything that makes you want to sit around more.

My retirement days too are on remote with facebook, twitter, etc. but I make it a point to get out more than most do, attending workshops, meeting friends, etc. In fact too much but then that's just crazy me, who loves to meet and greet.  Why do you think today the gardens are blooming with happy seniors walking, talking, interacting and sitting on benches enjoying life. Everyone needs someone to talk with, to vent frustrations, to interact, to get opinions. Don't you just yearn for that see-you-again hug... I definitely do... Social media, the saviour today but tomorrow people at the other end may just not be around. Friends and family too and though some may not realise it today meeting up is as important as a meal each day. All you need is one happy face, one smile, one conversation....that warm hug goodbye and you've made a memory too with no regrets in future to say "I wish I had met him/her but it is too late now".

So, call on me....let's meet face-to-face, laugh, share, argue, disagree and crib together too....... I'm waiting !!!

=========================

Oh no, not again she said , God! Mom

Another lecture, are you never done.

Lecture I must, Mom said, cause life is scary

Unpredictable, Tensions are many

Life for you is from pillar to post

When did you last float paper boats

Dance in the rain or take a walk

Sat by the sea with friends to talk

Watch the sunset, see birds fly

Look up and marvel at the starry sky

You've no time to hear birds sing

Life is just a big boxing ring

Facebook, Instagram, 140 characters tweets

Don't you miss your friend's voices, so sweet

Stop breathe, take a walk, sing

Say hello to nature, see what joy it brings

For when like me, you're old and grey

You'll wish you went out to play

I am a mobile addict

Can I give up my mobile for a day? I wonder. I can't even imagine my life without a mobile today, even though there are many who may not agree. I know that there are strong and disciplined people out there who detox occasionally from mobile but I am not ready to admit I need that. Staying connected to people is life itself for me. I can't imagine a day without my fingers not tapping, swiping or watching flickering pictures and staying connected. I know the world is not going to end if I put that mobile away nor are my friends going to go away either.

I am great at multitasking and creative thinking so what if I cut paste a wrong message to someone it was not meant for sometimes. So what if I hit auto text turning "dear" into "dead"...or "yoga" into "yoda"..and the one worst that I fear "peace" and not "pieces" (you know, the rest in peace one..I check this a 100% times over). In the morning, along with that cup of tea it's the newspaper and the mobile for me. Reading through whatsapp, facebook and the newspaper to check what happened before I woke up (well, it is another fact that I get up very late these days..retired you see!!!).  So what if the very next thing I do is to clear the chat of all those annoying good mornings, picture notifications and that one same message that pops up in each and every group like a tsunami on a particular day.... Okay, I do know it is a nice way to start a morning by wishing each other and I do appreciate your love, but no one needs a beep beep 365 days a year especially me, at unearthly hours. You are awake my friend, but my morning has not yet begun so then don't blame me for putting you on silent mode. Silent mode, indeed!!! ........ there I go checking whether you have wished me that morning. I don't want it to beep, I want it to beep, totally confused me.

You know what's funny. Let me tell you what makes me feel more sane than most mobile addicts. I don't text my family sitting in the same room or in the next room even if we are on the same group. Now that's what I call real crazy. So what if I use a missed call to my daughter, as a signal to come to my room. Now, that I think is an intelligent use of the mobile instead of shouting, is it not?

You may wonder what is it that I am missing out on by using my mobile consistently. You must also be thinking that I definitely need to be doing something else instead? That is never an issue with me. I work from home but get around a lot too doing crazy and fun stuff, in fact quite a lot than most people.....and when I am out the internet package is off because funny as it may sound, I just never seem to need it when I am with friends or out. I simply inform those I need to stay connected to during that day via sms that I am off whatsapp, etc. Simple but effective way to break away from face book and whatsapp because I become a photographer and need my mobile to stay alive through the day as I go click click. It's another story that once I am home, there I go posting all  those photos on social media. As corny as it sounds, I want to be able to watch a show without feeling the need to share a photo but then I am a pro at doing just that without looking at the screen. I know I will have that one picture of the many I went click click click looking over the mobile. Yes, I am a notorious shutterbug strong desire to capture every moment and  memory.

I love my sleep too, so switching off the internet connection the moment it is bedtime and that means the internet package of my mobile too is a done deal. Of course not the mobile calls, after all who knows who might need to call you. 

Besides I am also not one of those who think the theatre hall is the personal hall of my home. Yes, I do get up and tick off those using the mobiles in the theatre.  Silent mode indeed, but what about that annoying light that flickers in the darkness. Not to mention my counterparts who discuss menus with their cooks mid-movie or those who love to text or talk especially during a song sequence...Hello, I want to watch that song you know and I don't need additional disco lights from your mobile to enjoy it more!!!

I'm a good girl and don't text or talk when I drive even though you know, I am quite a pro and can do just that. I won't profess not to have done that before...but with a near disaster once, texting and driving is a definite no, no and even answering the phone today. My mobile definitely lies now in my purse hanging behind the driver seat completely inaccessible and away from temptation. Besides, I am just too much in love with life for that.

I just love mindlessly opening up applications, scrolling through and connecting with friends. Internet advises setting realistic limits for oneself of using the applications of not more than an hour or so in a day (not going to happen!!!) or for not longer than 15 minutes at a time (hmmmm!!).... Leave my mobile at home, switch off while on holiday. How stupid would that be in this crazy world where anything happens at anytime. 

Maybe I need to break up with my mobile..... even though I think I am doing fine.... 

My mobile is now my best friend, my love connection to my family and even more so with friends who I don't meet for months. Just maybe, just maybe, I am a mobile addict.......Maybe I do need to detoxify... May be I need to unplug from the unreal world to the world around me.. 

...........but then on second thoughts, I am already enjoying the best of both worlds... content to be on-line or off-line as I please.