Death is not a joke or can it be!!!

Standing outside a peaceful chapel resounding with a heartfelt chorus at a funeral made me wonder 'What goes on in the mind of a person when he/she watches death up close?'..... I watched them all stand tall but tearful as my heart bumped with a damn, you are old yourself....hopefully the chances of me being murdered are very small....so what next?..... Oh no, not too soon, I told myself because there is a lot more I want to do this life yet.

My thoughts went back to the death of someone in my in-laws family many many moons ago. In fact it was the first death I saw up close after my granny died when we were quite young. My dad believed life was meant to live and not cry over death too long. I remember had put on the TV the next day after the funeral. So I just could not understand why some were beating their chests and crying like no tomorrow for someone they hardly ever knew or cared about before.... It looked like a scene out of a Hindi film for me as I stood there with a laughter bubbling up inside me. I remember I rushed out of the room to hide behind a door and laugh uncontrollably...Really!!! was I mad, I thought to myself, or was it just my mechanism to accept death. I recently only admitted this to my sister-in-law and warned her that if I ever start to laugh at death please tell people not to be shocked...after all I'm that madcap that can burst out laughing in grief too!!

So then what makes me tick-tock on. Is it no fear of death itself, or just shoving aside thoughts of death or just a morbid fear of dying persons. Yeah, I think it is the later!  I can't handle hospitals and funerals. I turns me to stone.  Maybe I am terribly practical vs. emotional or hiding my hand under the sand.... How can I fear something that is not in my hand?  I like to think that I am invincible. Silly thoughts will only add to my worry so for better or worst, I think that what I may be dreading is not what I want to dwell on ever. After all who knows... death may not be as unpleasant as one imagines it to be,  but on second thoughts.. if I am dead, I am dead. How does it matter to me... Morbid? no just practical old me.  Think about it.

In fact sometimes there is just no explanation as to why the healthiest person on earth or a young person leaves the earth? I wonder if then if staying healthy removes risk of death..maybe to some extent but when the time comes, well !!!  so let those fries and burgers keep coming... and what's that about "rest assured that your memory will live on after you die if you help the world" ...that's definitely not gonna stay for long.. Then we all know that memories are short and people will move on.... you have to, if you have to survive the mad rush and tensions of this world.  So get out of here, cause if you remember me fine, if you don't its fine too.  I'm not coming back to haunt you, right !!  

But then, Tupac Shakur said "I don't have no fear of death. My only fear is coming back reincarnated."...   hmmmmm, nice !!! I just might ..... Well, till then, guess I'm just going to keep on experimenting with life and new opportunities, for today I'm still alive and kicking!!!

Me, Sugar Mediaz and an afternoon with Mookdhwani School* for hearing impaired children

It is said that some connects that you make become lifelong relationships that go beyond the unexplainable. Many many years ago, I had read an advertisement and learnt the art of voiceovers with Darrpan Mehta, a leading and respected Voice Actor  at  Sugar Mediaz. Thereafter, I truly have lost count of the years or the many times, I have shared happy moments with Darrpan, Janvi and Kiran.. and this time was no different. A phone call from them is all it takes to get me scuttling to their office with a happy smile.

You may wonder why? Simple. What I love about Darrpan (apart from the friendship) and Sugar Mediaz is that despite the traditional role of being an audio content production house, they choose unique and different activities as part of their social responsibility initiatives, such as *surprise X'mas party for 150 kids of Prayas Street School, *Buy a Diary-send a child to school project, *campaign to collect books, stationery and musical instruments for prisoners of Indore Jail and my favourite of all 300 paper bags containing packets of wheat flour, sugar, rice and pulses sent to family&friends in Diwali (including me) with a request to pass it on to less privileged people.

The initiative this time!!! An afternoon to celebrate Teachers day with fun and games to create a bond between teachers and children at *Mookdhwani School* for hearing impaired children.... and as always, I was ready to be a part of their initiative. 

September 6th, 12.30pm and we and the volunteers were all ready to have fun with them, but wait !! let me first share a bit about the school that Sugar Mediaz was bringing happiness and joy to....*Mookdhwani Vidyalaya*, managed by Utkarsh Mandal, situated in a by-lane at Vile Parle, is a Marathi medium school, established in 1982, providing free education to the hearing impaired children as also parent counselling, guidance, rehabilitation supported by teachers, speech therapists and social workers.

I cannot even start to explain the overwhelming feeling that came over me standing in the school hall and watching 100 children of all ages walking in and settling down in front of us. At that moment, I realised that all the "dumb charades" talent in the world would not be enough to communicate with them or would it? It made me wonder that when they were looking at me doing the talking, was it like what I felt while watching a silent film. Maybe not, because you needed to be there to hear the laughter as the children communicated with each other despite living in a world of silence themselves...as  did team Sugar Mediaz with them. Dividing the children into groups with a few teachers in each group; that was easy!!! but conducting the games was no easy task, believe me. You will not believe the number of times, stupid old me, out of force of habit said "suno" on the mike completely forgetting that "suno" was a word that did not exist in their lives. Starting off with two minute games such as poking straws in the hair, bindis on hands, balancing coins holding biscuit in mouth and so on were received with much exuberance. Simple games like musical chairs and more, especially conducted just for the teachers made them so happy that we were surprised to be told that in past years, no one had ever thought about conducting games for them. A balloon tied to the ankle of each teacher and letting them loose to burst the other's balloons while saving their own had them in splits. I cannot even get to down to expressing the amount of laughter and noise the teachers themselves were making. It was hilarious to actually have to tell the teachers to 'stop and listen'. Darrpan dressed up as a clown making an entry with chocolates and little toys which he threw to catch, had children screaming, scrambling and grabbing as much as their little hands could. Amidst many more such fun games, the afternoon ended with prizes for games, and gifts & snack boxes for everyone.

I realised by the end of the afternoon, the true meaning of "my world may be silent but I can hear with my hands". I had completely forgotten about the disability as the eyes, the heart and the hands spoke volumes and no one was needed to translate anymore. The one thing I learnt today, is simple. No one is really deaf or dumb and all we need to do is respect each other's intelligence and communicate ...... and as the tag line of Sugar Mediaz says, let us just "communicate better" with a dash of understanding and a sprinkle of compassion ... So  the next time I think of turning a deaf ear, I will think twice !! 

Dear Friend, face-to-face, please !!

Recently, I attended an event organised by BeHiver, a group that says "Let's start talking again. Conversations. Meaningful conversations".....What a beautiful concept to say "humanising conversations".... (and hey, like BeHiver on facebook)..... The beauty of the event was that it had just the right number of people. In fact, just right to get to know each other and bond.  Funny story or should I say "happy story"... while I was waiting for the event to start, sitting there chatting about movies and sundry with the BeHiver team, a young boy on the next table just happily joined in our conversation. Not necessary to say that our conversation became livelier, and we shared so much and hey, I made a new friend right there.... and at the event, too. That is the magic of talking face-to-face, and that got me thinking!!!

Life has indeed become a pillar to post run that never seems to end. Everyone seems to be talking about not having the time to do things they love and putting things on the back burner. There is no time  to meet people to connect face-to-face but then thank God for the mobile and the social media, they say !!   I really wonder if that is enough. I am, however, just a big believer in face-to-face meetings that lead to friendships forever. One day I had this wild thought of writing on my face book wall "Hi, we've met here on the FB wall often, but I would like to actually see you, meet you personally. I am going to be at (place) on (date) at (time). Drop in and lets connect over tea"... Of course, a friend flew off the handle and cautioned me, calling me nuts for sending out an open invitation to not just friends but maybe other nuts out there. I wonder, if maybe I had sent that note out, then today some of my friends would have stepped out of the FB page to meet me in person.  I might have just made my connects much stronger. Besides, honestly I am one of those who can't really put a face to the voice and I think most will agree.  That voice on the phone can throw me off cause my imagination definitely runs wild and voices don't match their appearances at all. They never do!!! I have been told this about my voice too...... a number of times.... so it is better that you meet me soon, in person, and be prepared to be shocked !!!

Then it is not absolutely true that people don't meet. Walk down to any of the coffee shops and you will see all ages bonding. With long working hours, the constraints to meet are definitely there. Exhaustion after work with no inclination to dress up to go out, all one craves for is to curl up on the bed and use social media to stay connected. I've realised that it is not just about making friends or meeting people these days. The whole world is on remote, whether marketing, socialising, connecting or even friendship. You don't need to "be there" but then you are "there" too. You call someone and it may take you just five seconds to put them on "whose listening" mode.  It happens to all of us, right. That mobile in the hand, someone at the other end and hey, there you go... zoning out and doing something else.

Remote communication has become the norm today. Conversations on phone are much like marketing calls. I don't need to know what you are doing at that moment or what is going on inside that head of yours. That voice on the phone steers you, owns you and takes you sometimes to a place of no return. If that same someone had been sitting in front of you, you might have had more questions to ask...more time to look into those eyes.... maybe... just maybe you could have escaped the power of being pushed in the corner to do or concede to something you never wanted to!! Face-to-face conversations give you that power.  You don't need to wait for other person to finish before you talk. You can jump right in to debate, argue, disagree, share thoughts, stories and discuss everything that makes you want to sit around more.

My retirement days too are on remote with facebook, twitter, etc. but I make it a point to get out more than most do, attending workshops, meeting friends, etc. In fact too much but then that's just crazy me, who loves to meet and greet.  Why do you think today the gardens are blooming with happy seniors walking, talking, interacting and sitting on benches enjoying life. Everyone needs someone to talk with, to vent frustrations, to interact, to get opinions. Don't you just yearn for that see-you-again hug... I definitely do... Social media, the saviour today but tomorrow people at the other end may just not be around. Friends and family too and though some may not realise it today meeting up is as important as a meal each day. All you need is one happy face, one smile, one conversation....that warm hug goodbye and you've made a memory too with no regrets in future to say "I wish I had met him/her but it is too late now".

So, call on me....let's meet face-to-face, laugh, share, argue, disagree and crib together too....... I'm waiting !!!

=========================

Oh no, not again she said , God! Mom

Another lecture, are you never done.

Lecture I must, Mom said, cause life is scary

Unpredictable, Tensions are many

Life for you is from pillar to post

When did you last float paper boats

Dance in the rain or take a walk

Sat by the sea with friends to talk

Watch the sunset, see birds fly

Look up and marvel at the starry sky

You've no time to hear birds sing

Life is just a big boxing ring

Facebook, Instagram, 140 characters tweets

Don't you miss your friend's voices, so sweet

Stop breathe, take a walk, sing

Say hello to nature, see what joy it brings

For when like me, you're old and grey

You'll wish you went out to play

Fairy Tales! More or no more??

Fairy Tales! More or no more??

In a whatsapp group a debate got me thinking. How relevant are the fairy tales today and the thoughts expressed got me worried. 'Life is not always good over evil' said one, 'Nothing magical exists, so why fool the kids' said another, while still another proclaimed 'there is no Santa Claus, so why not tell stories as they should be told'. I object, my lord, for I firmly believe that the kids today are much smarter and are able to differentiate between the real and the magical. Kids are not stupid as they have the world available to them at the click of a button. From a very early age, they are exposed to the world of games, stories and much more than we ever were. They know where to draw the line much to our dismay and amazement and from a very small age too.

Unlike us when we were kids, who believed that seeds thrown in the ground grew a beanstalk to the sky above. Let's not kid ourselves cause we did bury those seeds in the ground and water it with the hope to climb up there and meet the Giant. Who can forget Hansel and Gretel being left behind in the forest - but not to forget how smartly they found their way home by leaving a trail behind. So what if the second time the trail of bread was eaten by the birds and they landed at the witches house. The kids did escape with the riches, did they not.  Just goes to show that every fairy tale has shown how resourceful and intelligent the kids were.  So what's not right or scary about sharing these stories today.  The story about the Golden Goose that laid the golden egg taught me not to be greedy....The 3 Little Pigs building houses of straw, sticks and bricks taught me not to just take whatever I find to build my life, or choose the easy way out, but to explore what would be better. Not to forget my favourite one The Ugly Duckling that became a swan, and you may ask why? As a kid, like many other girls, I never thought I was beautiful but today when I look back, I realise it helped me realise my potential slowly and surely to achieve a lot more important things in life.

As kids, we all  loved a fairy tale with a happily ever after, so did I. I am sure the kids today too enjoy the good conquering over the evil with magic even if it is not the wicked witch but Harry Potter. Imagination and the magical world is not a thing of our times.  Everyone has imagination in varying degrees. Some kids imagine the worst to fight like flying dragons while other kids just like fighting the animals in the forest. Worrying whether the story is too scary or what is the take away or that it is not true to life is just in our heads only. What  matters is that most kids today are able to understand it better and they are much more creative and fearless than we were as kids. They never accept anything at face value and question everything.  Visuals in the stories may have changed to flying dragons, swords to depict those mythological or magical stories about cultures around the world but the essence is the same. When we were kids, the stories were told with pictures in the book and today the same stories are repackaged cinematically for the kids today. Fairy tale children movies, television shows or comics still tell the story of Snow White surprisingly for the kids in a suitable format, while for the adults it is recreated as "Snow White and the Huntsmen".  It just proves that there is a merit to the fairy tales and besides this just makes it that much easier for us to read to our kids, does it not? They say the world is round and what is new today is old tomorrow, so let's not dismiss off all of those stories that we grew up with. They taught us about friendship, life and hope. Today kids are sceptical of everything and they never stop questioning 'why'? so it is up to us to how spin off the moral of the tale. Take it a step forward and ask them to invent their own endings and be prepared to be surprised. Kids don't scare easily these days and unlike us don't turn our heads away when a head is cut off with a sword. They revel in the sword fights, the fire breathing dragons and ghostly figures in the corridors and it is not just the boys, but the girls too. In this virtual world of stories, computer games, it is still a good idea to let the kids dream the unbelievable, create their own worlds of fantasy and fly the fantastic world of magical where goodness still conquers the evil. As for us who grew up with fairy tales when life was simple, use these as a way to share your childhood stories to the kids.