Friendship " QUOTE- UNQUOTE" line up

My mom had a fascination of  reading and then writing down in a note book all the quotes that she loved. That book  in her own handwriting is now a fond memory with us three sisters. I guess that is where I got my passion for writing quotes which I write an upload on my social media almost every day.... and you what I realised?  That there were so many quotes out there by people from around the globe, that I could actually write a whole blog just using those quotes in a proper sequence and by just adding a few words (those you see in italics)  to string  it together... so  this is what my love for quotes inspired me to do... Here goes one on "Friendship"...

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one^{."(~C.S, Lewis).}   ... "No friendship is an accident." ^{(~ O.Henry)}. but 'Making a friend and maintaining a friendship are two different things. Be picky about who you keep around you. Personalities, words and traits do rub of naturally' ^{(~Sonya Teclai, the Goodvibe.co).}  'It is important to make friendships that are deeper than gossiping, drinking and going out.  Make friends who can you can go out with, make friends you can cry with, make friends who support your life goals and believe in you' ^{(~Word Porn)..} 'Anyone that encourages intellectual, emotional, artistic or spiritual growth is worth keeping. Don't let them go' ^{(~Dau-CosmicExtensions).} So it is simple, “Don’t make friends who are comfortable to be with. Make friends who will force you to lever yourself up.” ^{(~Thomas J. Watson).} After all it is said that, 'Friends are the siblings God never gave us. ^(~Mencius). and that "Friends are born, not made' ^{(~Henry Adams)} ... Think about it. "God gives us relatives; thank God, we can choose our friends". ^{(~Addison Mizner)}.  'Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to is letting a person be what he/she really is' ^{(~Jim Morrison)....} because  "A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else "^{(~ Unknown).}

"Friends should be like books, few, but hand-selected." ^{(~C.J. Langenhoven)...} More importantly it is true that,  “If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.” ^{(~ Zig Ziglar).} Even then,  "I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.”^{(~Plutarch). ).} It is therefore better to remember that  “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” ^{(~Martin Luther King, Jr.)}  So, "If you wanna find out who's a true friend, screw up or go through a challenging time.. then see who sticks around." ^{(~Karen Salmonsohn)}

Let me end with one of my own thoughts about friendship.

"Friendship is not something you learn in school.

But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship,

you really haven't learned anything. There comes a

moment in life when one must acknowledge

that some friends will hurt you, intentionally and

sometimes unintentionally too...It is then best to

either keep quiet and forget about it....or move on !!"

Garba for Global Peace and Me!!

It was like Ma Ambe had especially designed a beautiful visit to my hometown to take her blessings. I found myself at Vadodara with family singing Garbas and being invited for events that I had always wanted to be there for.  One such was an invitation from my niece, Nishita, who insisted I attend her office event at Ahmedabad on 14^th October 2018, since I was so close. An event to promote world peace by bringing together exchange students from around the world and over 250+ well-wishers!! ...Now that was one I could never say NO to, not just because I love participating and working for social cause events, but also because AFS has been an indirect part of my life too.  When she was just a little girl in the 10th standard, Nishita had flown off on a student exchange program from AFS India, an inclusive educational community of global citizens, students, families and volunteers that builds bridges between cultures. Despite the choice of innumerable places, such as the US, an opportunity that every child would grab, I must admit I was truly proud that she chose to experience a culture that was different. She chose to go to Italy for a year not just for a cultural experience but for wanting to learn a new language. As she tells me often even today that had she chosen an English speaking country today, Italian would not be on her list of spoken and written languages. I must admit that her experiences and the stories she shared, opened up a new world for me too and I am immensely proud of her. A one and a half hour drive from Vadodara to Ahmedabad, therefore, obviously did not seem to matter and in fact proved to be worth every minute of my time.

A beautifully decorated ground exploding with myriad of colourful chaniya-cholis and people dancing was indeed inviting. Presented by AFS Intercultural Programs India and hosted by Ahmedabad Chapter titled "Garba for Global Peace", the evening was planned as an unique experience for its exchange students, in keeping with Gujarat's culture and tradition of "Garba" to celebrate Navratri, the 9-day festival of Goddess Durga.  The event was not just planned as a fun event but had an underlined focus and purpose - a fundraising campaign designed with a plan of using the donations received to create life-changing opportunities and scholarships for under served students to avail prestigious AFS exchange Programs. It was heartwarming to see over 50+ young exchange students from so many countries such as USA, Thailand, Italy, Germany, Japan, Spain, etc. and other supporters, on the ground dancing in one large circle to traditional music and songs. The exchange students dressed in traditional wear with head gear enjoying dancing the Garba, and actually non-stop too, with such perfection put me to shame. Of course, me being me, I did break into a dance too despite creaking knees, take a picture with the students and talk to them. When they expressed how much they were loving the experience of studying and living in India, it made truly understand the power of the program that my niece experienced.

Today, I when I look at my niece achieving great heights not just professionally but her confidence and the way she handles herself as a person, it makes me wish that I could have given my children an opportunity like that.  Imagine what it can give your child, if she/he were to take off to a new country and learn to live with a totally unknown family with their own rules of life. Today we pamper our children and everything is given to them on a platter but what Nishita learnt in 2010 and came back with,is so much more that just becoming independent. I see a true professional, values-driven, confident, tolerant of others, appreciative, understanding and extremely hard working woman. Such programs build intercultural friendship and create lifelong cultural memories and empower children to study abroad facilitated by trained AFS volunteers and staff in 60+ countries. AFS India is amongst the leading organizations in intercultural education and experience that focuses on life-changing opportunities.

When I returned back home I thought to myself that today with all the mayhem around us and despite all our differences, everyone who was there at the event was somehow connected as one with the hope of a happier and a more meaningful life. There is so much out there to learn and the world is so much bigger with incredibly more to offer, then why are we living like frogs in a well?  I find a friend in everyone who sits next to me for more than five minutes because I love to talk and share. Experiences and friendships add new meaning to my life and am sure to yours too!!

Instead of drifting along like a leaf in a river, understand who you are and

how you come across to people and what kind of an impact you

have on the people around you and the community around you and the world,

so that when you go out, you can feel you have made a positive difference ~Jane Fonda

For more information  about  AFS India  get in touch at aadil.fahim@afs.org or nishita.mehta@afs.org or call at (+91-9971148406) or (+91-8586925131)

#LetsWalk, an initiative to promote health and fitness

An invitation to participate in a beach walk to promote health is honestly something I never saw myself agree to doing. #LetsWalk - Beach Walk, the initiative "your health in your hands" to promote health and fitness got me out of bed on September 2nd, that too on a Sunday; the day I refuse to get up early.  I landed up at Juhu Beach and found myself  enjoying a great morning at the beach and even more so because I found myself screaming out in joy. Everywhere I turned, I found a friend was there too and that was truly uplifting and awesome. 

The walk was organised by Moushumi Pal founder of Woodpecker Media, a consulting company catering to conceptualised events, transformational digital marketing strategies and creative brand design and Dr. Bhavi Mody, a postgraduate with over two decades of clinical experience in providing Holistic Healing and Founder and Director at Vrudhi Holistic Health Care. The event had a participation of over 150 health enthusiasts, started with a round of Yoga (me and yoga. Wow! I did that too), was followed by a 2 km walk on the beach. Fun childhood games such as tug-of-war, passing the parcel and thumbs-up that we have all played as children were a part of the event to bring back that magic into their lives.

I love to interview people and talk to them about their initiatives. so it was obvious that I found myself interviewing these wonderful ladies live on face book. Talking to me about the initiative, Moushumi said "We want to touch lives. We want inclusion. What Dr. Bhavi Mody advocates is making things very simple to follow, like eat less, sleep less, breathe well, things we forget in mundane routine of today's life styles we have. Then gradually I started thinking how can we make it more engaging and that's is why we thought of organising the first walk. We wanted everyone from all walks of life to come out in the fresh air. We want to do it at different locations now. First one was a nature walk and this our second one which is the beach walk."

Dr. Bhavi Mody adds, "This initiative is to help you stress on little changes that you can get into your everyday life to make your life more healthy. Mission #StayHealthyStayHappy is what we believe in. We started out in December last year. As Moushumi mentioned, the first walk that happened was a nature walk at Sanjay Gandhi National Park and today we are on the beach. Next who knows where. Maybe the mountains".

The first walk organised by them was on June 3, 2018. It was an educational 2 km walk around Borivali National Park and I must admit  even though I was invited to that one too, I was just too lazy to get out of bed. What I missed was an opportunity to learn about various species of flora and fauna along with the environmentalists there and more importantly an opportunity to click loads of photos (which is my passion).  I am never missing another walk ever again for sure.

At the end of the walk the participants were given refreshments and goody bags. Each one of us had been given a T-shirt too before the walk.  Eminent power women such as Pinky Rajgharhia (Mrs Universe Business lady 2017, Mrs Asia 2017, Mrs Fitness 2016, Social Activist), Gehna Mehra (Writer & Entrepreneur), Nabomita Mazumdar (Businesswoman  and Speaker for Future of Work, HR, Startup, Women and Business, Social media and Technology), Nidhika Bahl (Celebrity Life Coach), Savneet Kaur  (Vice Chair,  ALL) and Daulatbi Khan (Acid Survivors Saahas Foundation) participated in the walk to support the initiative.

I must admit that I am not much of a health freak,  but the walk did not help me to realise the value of being outdoors. I realised that morning, that I had also bonded and shared so much more with my friends there and even though I could not walk for long (I have painful knees, you see), it was lovely to be out breathing in the fresh air. A big thank you to Moushumi for inviting me to join and cheers to you and your team mates, Ridhi Doshi and Sonu Bajaj for a well organised event.  

I can happily say that the event was not just  #LetsWalk but a lovely #FriendshipWalk for me and that I am looking forward to the next one too.

Connect on FB page for joining the next walk: 

www.facebook.com/groups/vrudhihwc

#BeHappy wins the Radio City' #CityIconAwards 2018' in the NGO category

#BeHappy wins the Radio City' #CityIconAwards 2018' (a Jagran initiative) in the NGO category  in the NGO category at Thane/Navi Mumbai. Shalini Thackeray M'am and her daughter Muskaan are invited on stage. Shalini M'am invites the entire team on stage to receive it along with them. The team thanks her  for the honour.  The award is given to us by stalwart and actor, Ashok Saraf. 

#BeHappy, a first of its kind community togetherness initiative in Lokhandwala Complex  is the brainchild of Surjeet Dadalia, a businessman by profession and eminent Ms. Shalini Thakerey, MNS, Mumbai North West and ably supported by Prashant Rane, MNS and a team of enthusiastic committee members (one of them being me). #BeHappy today is successful concept where irrespective of their standing in the society, residents come together as as a team to organise the event to encorage community spirit through entertainment, art, sports and health programs and more importantly, to celebrate life itself!  The initiative provides a platform for a family to come together in a car free zone from 7 am to 11 am to spend time together and participate in activities as a family. #BeHappy also offers stalls and a stage to people to showcase their talent.

BeHappy, has been spreading smiles and bringing the neighbourhood together for more than a year every 3rd Sunday of the month. The event has a footfall of  8000-9000+ adults and children and is graced by film stars and celebrities, all enjoying a morning of family fun such as art craft for children, sport activities like badminton, football, cycling, food & activities stalls and on-stage performances such as Yoga, Zumba,  dances and song and much more. #BeHappy will be back soon with its next season after the rains.

Connect with us to participate on https://www.facebook.com/BEHAPPYMumbai

From #Mokhada to #Ekjute at Prithvi...... every commitment matters!!

 

From #Mokhada to #Ekjute at Prithvi...... every commitment matters!!

It was one of those days when you have two commitments that you just want to keep both but don't know how. Not easy but I did it. One being the trip to Mokhada to distribute note books that I too had donated towards in a small way. The other to watch Juuhi Babbar Sonii and my Ekjute family perform at Prithvi.  A big dilemma - but then they say when you want something real bad, things begin to work for you. It did and how !! because I managed not only to travel four hours back and forth to Mokhada and a touch-and-go to Prithvi dishevelled and tired but happily refreshed to watch "Salaam 50s ke Naam".

Note books donations, such an easy way to say you care. It has given me a joy and an opportunity to contribute in a small way to a social cause - education. So every year when my friend, Dipesh Tank, founder, Youth for People, a Malad-based NGO joined hands with Diganta Swaraj Foundation and reached out to seeking support for note book donations, I am happy to participate as always. The icing on the cake is travelling to Mokhada and Jawahar, which is a rural area which lies in the outskirts of Nashik to personally distribute note books to students belonging to the scheduled tribes of that region. There I was again this year waiting to board the bus. One normally won't thank a pain one has, but this year I can happily say that thanks to a knee pain, Dipesh, Poonam and Narayan offered to send us in one of the cars which worked to my advantage to keep my second commitment. So there we were, three friends, Sailesh Mishra, Surjit Kaur and Me along with Agilan Ramaswamy (Narayan's friend) who had no idea what was going to hit him speeding off to Mokhada.  Four hours on the road flanked by beautiful scenery and a continuous banter, Agilan not only survived but had fun too and I made another friend for life. It was not long before we happily bonded at the crossroad of Mokhada over tea, waiting for the bus to arrive. As always, everyone was teamed up and given notebooks to distribute. The four of us were sent off to a school in Chikenpada and Chas Village, a small little school amidst lush green with a rocky path leading downwards to a village just past it. Done with distributing books there to the happy children, as we motored down the hills flanked by green trees and scenery to die for towards the main Ashram School, Surjit spotted a small bridge over a river.  A detour to that spot.... and now all I can say is that, I am glad we did stop, thanks to Surjit,  because it was worth it. The filmy keeda in me took over and we posed and posed.  It was the most calming but definitely the filmy moments that I insisted on,  I know for sure that the four of us are going to cherish and never going to forget that madness. 

The main Ashram Shala, we visited houses 350+ resident students and many more students come in from the neighbouring areas. The class rooms and the main hall double up as classroom area during day and as bedrooms at night - even as eating areas. Electricity is a rare commodity here. Greeted by a hall filled with students, the team distributed notebooks to them. The most beautiful part of being there is always the way we are greeted with swagat songs and heartfelt thank-you. From there we moved on to another school. Here we were greeted and treated to a Lezim performance followed by a small program in the main hall where the Zilla people and our team exchanged thoughts and ideas. Over 40+ thousand books were distributed. 

It was 3.30 pm and as we were going back in the same car, we sought permission to leave and the ride back to Borivili was just as fun-filled as the morning. Guess what, we were in Mumbai by 730 pm and Yeah, I jumped into a rickshaw with cross fingers hoping to reach Prithvi in time..... I did..I did.....

Literally jumping out of the rickshaw exhausted but excited to have made it,  "Salaam 50s ke Naam" was a nostalgic ride down the memory lane. As introduced by Nadira Babbar ji this performance was Ekjute's tribute to the golden era of cinema. All about  of those films that had the zamindaar ka ladka and the kaabile ki ladki, it was  filled with the most beautiful songs of the 50s like suhana safar aur yeh mausam, shola joh bhadke, suhaani raat dhal chuki and so many more that made my eyes moist.  Well, I would have jumped on stage but for the fact that I knew I had to behave (ha ha!) and  flanked by an awesome actor, Suhant Singh (and his sweet son) and director, Kajri Babbar on either side of me. The performance by stalwarts Juuhi Babbar Soni, Pilu Vidhyarthi, Hanif Patni and all the awesome actors with choreography by my dear friend Raj Yadav (who I must thank here again for introducing me to Juuhi and the Ekjute Young Talent Company family) was super indeed. What can I say about actor friend, Ankur Parekh - was it Dev Anand, Dilip Kumar or my favourite Biswajeet that he reminded me of ?  I think it was just a mix of all those stalwarts and more that added to the 50s experience along with Juuhi M'am as the lovely kabile_ki kanya performance. A musical play filled with dance and song beautifully intertwined indeed ..... and think about it -  what is better than to see all your friends performing on stage, applauding them and then going backstage to hug each one of them.... and what can I add again here about Juuhi M'am except that I adore her not just for her acting but for her love  and inviting me to watch the play..most importantly because it is all thanks to her that I am getting to be a part of the one thing I always craved for and wanted  in my life - theatre!!!

Keep a good attitude and do the right thing even when it's hard. 

When you do that you are passing the test. 

And God promises you your marked moments are on their way

~Joel Osteen

because COMMITMENTS MATTER and so does FRIENDSHIP !!!

LET'S TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH NOW !!

An invitation on a discussion on Mental Health in whatsapp from a friend caught my eye. The words "Mental Health" meant nothing to a mad bawi like me. It's a given (ha ha ha)........ Me being Me, with a zest of life, always wanting to meet, greet and make more friends, I decided to go to know more about 'Mental Health' that everyone is talking about today.... Actually, if I were to honestly admit, it was just that there were also those two women I just had to meet again - Meera and Sonali.

I must admit that the beautiful auditorium at Godrej's India Culture Lab, Vikhroli, really blew my mind. A pod cast with Nikhil, Aalap and Cyrus Sahukar "Work in Progress Episode 1 - The Anxiety of Choice" was being premiered. Aalap, Cyrus and Nikhil tackled this paradox through some sensible and meaningful ..and some crazy banter. All my friends know that I love taking notes of points that touch me and keeping them with me, but sadly I could not separate names and voices.. Here are some of the nuggets I jotted listening to them, but don't ask me who said what !! They talked about how generations had no choices earlier while today there are choices, choices and choices (oh yes, how I agree with this one). Not to mention that according to one of them today it is a white room with no floors and ceilings.. I totally agreed with their point on 'everyone looks back and thinks the other generation had it better'. As men, they agreed that while women were allowed to express their feelings, men were not allowed to feel sad about anything and if they did it was invalidated immediately. Nikhil made a very valid point saying that when he lost his mobile, others seemed to think that there was more to life than losing a mobile and more worst problems others faced.  I must admit that this really made me sit up and think.  How true is it that we often disregard someone else's problem as unimportant and insignificant without realising that maybe for that person it means a great deal. Nikhil had not lost his mobile but he had lost a script he had been working on that mobile. I asked him after the event and was sad to know that he had not managed saved it elsewhere. Think about it.... Is it not a fact that we seem to be not understanding about how much something affects another just based on our assumptions of the situation. Here is where each one of us needs to step up for our friend, family and others. Don't we say one man's meat is another man's poison. Not saying more on this, here is a link of the world premiere episode and live podcast for you :  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjisCI-ial8 .... but wait here is one message that really will stay with me forever. Everyone seems to believe sending out messages to the Universe is a sure shot way to get what you want.  Well, one of them just burst the bubble with, "The Universe is not like Ramu Kaka waiting to take your order"! .... and yes, if you figure out who said that then let me know !!

The panel on stage was Sonali Gupta, Clinical Psychologist, Ranaboli Ray, Founder & Managing Trustee of 'Anjali' Mental Rights Organisation, 104.8 IshqFM RJ Meera Dhamji and Nikhil Taneja, Writer & Storyteller.  Each one of them had battled their own demons and therefore each word that they said, is everything you need to know.  Nikhil shared something that happens to all of us, but we don't really sit up and take notice of it.  He remembers panicking at a world class event and how he could not just get himself out of bed to get there thinking about the worst things that could happen like, he would not get there in time, his suit was not right, he would say the wrong things and so on.  Most of us get these panic attacks but if it passes we are fine, but as Nikhil says when it became too difficult to handle, it is time to take help. He also mentioned how we take "mood swings" lightly and should not as these are triggers and must be addressed at the earliest. As for Sonali, she shared how she had spent her childhood practically living in hospital where her father was admitted and how she began to understand trauma, depression and more, enough to be able to be able to help others today. Meera shared a story of one of her listeners, unhappy and depressed at being unable to conform to society norms of sexuality and not being the son his mother wanted. 

We all have been hearing that mental health is a big issue in these days of stress and so when it starts affecting your personality, social interactions and you get depressed often or get frequent panic attacks, it is time to seek help. We don't do that do we.  We pretend all is good and then move on with our lives till one day you just break down. Did you know that apparently there are just 2500 trained psychologists in our country and that the number people affected by it is increasing each day. When I retired, I knew I would have a lot of time on my hands and for me 9-5 routine meant a great deal because it kept me busy and weekends just were my recycle craft days. Today, all days are recycle craft days (ha ha) so I started writing, blogging, keeping busy by attending events like this one on Mental Health, meeting people, making selfie memories (adore this part), making friends (top on my list) who gave me so many opportunities to do more... and I truly believe in reinforcing belief in my capabilities cause it is my way of dealing with my time and energies today. No, I am not preaching or saying I know best, but simply saying that one has to understand limitations, appreciate change or make the change and find that space that is YOU.  I've said enough, so am going to let the panel speak to us through what they shared.  Here are the nuggets from them to help understand Mental Health....

 Sonali Gupta says..

•  'We become labels we put on ourselves..
•  'Therapy is about helping clients finding their own answers...'
•   'Embracing the fact that sometimes there are no answers..'
• 'Watch out for strained relationships, couples anxiety, loneliness and burn-out'

Sonali Gupta is a Clinical Psychologist and Practising Therapist  who works with people struggling with behavioural,depression and emotional concerns, sexuality related concerns, Psychosomatic issues and  around the science of intuition and self-esteem  - https://www.guptasonali.com

Ratnaboli Ray says.....

•  'Self awareness... Believe in yourself.. Be the subject and the object yourself..'
•   'We talk in a language less threatening to make women in far flung areas to understand mental health..Everyday behavior should not be a label of mental health'
•  'Please make list of 5 people you can reach out to even if you have not met for years...'
•  'Coming out is a difficult task... It's about self awareness... What is your emotional landscape.. Do you not get into the trap of 'thinking'..
•  'Realising your potential, productivity, dealing with stress and somewhere opportunity also plays an important role especially for people who live in the margins of society who get no chances or opportunities.'

Ratnaboli Ray, is a leading advocate for the rights of people with psychosocial disabilities (mental health conditions) in India. Founder & Managing Trustee of 'Anjali' Mental Rights Organisation - Website:www.anjalimentalhealth.org

RJ Meera Dhamji says .......

• 'Even if we up number of mental health officials until we don't have a conducive environment, then we are not doing right'
•  "On radio, I have to be the person who listens to what you are saying. Sharing personal stories help heal"
•  'Anything that keeps you from being the person you want to be'

'Heart To Heart, With Meera' is all about real conversations with listeners. Monday To Friday, 10pm - Midnight 104.8 @IshqFM

Nikhil Taneja says ..

•         Listen.. Be kinder on a day to day basis'
•          'Not every second of our time needs to be used.. Find what makes you feel the moment has purpose....
•          'Sadly, the moment you say mental health people think psycho'..
•          'Chasing the next goal.. next high.. If working its fine. The moment your plan does not work out..Pause, Feel..There is more to life...'
•          'Misplaced ideas of happiness dependent on someone else, something else. We never realise it is something we have to discover ourselves.'

Nikhil is an Independent Writer- Producer-Storyteller- Teacher-Consultant for Digital/Film/TV/Ads

#WorldRockAgainstDementia Event 2018#

#WorldRockAgainstDementia Event 2018#

It just takes one call from my friend, Sailesh Mishra to get me there.  When someone like him tells you to be there, you are there…. and not because you have been told to,  but because you just know in your heart that you have to.  This is exactly what happened for me and not surprised at all that when I landed there, I was handed a event flow and told to get up on stage and host it too.

In 2017, Sailesh Mishra of Silver Innings was appointed Brand Ambassador of India for Purple Angles a global platform for Dementia founded by Norman Mc Namara.  *World Rock Against Dementia* 2018, was organised by Sailesh Mishra and his Silver Innings on March 24, 2018 to create awareness about Dementia - a global program - 85 events simultaneously in 20 countries and in 5 continents. A collaborative event of global organizations started by Purple Angel Ambassador.

Dance and song by Seniors and the band Nuts & Frets rocked the show that evening. What was more heartening for me while hosting the show was that each and every Senior wanted the world to know their AGE.  Not one every wants to tell the world how old one is and here were my peers all wanting me to share their ages on the mike with everyone in the audience each time they performed.…. and why not?  after all they were proving  that AGE IS JUST A NUMBER and that the HEART IS YOUNG FOREVER.

It was indeed a matter of pride to know that Sailesh has been invited by Commonwealth International Forum Conference in UK, to represent India and speak about his cause in April  2018.  He will also talk about India, about family culture in our country because the Western culture is keen to know how we care about our family. He adds , "Let me tell you we are not so bad. We need to protect our family institution and I will be talking about it."

I decided that I had to get him to do a small interview so I pinned him down to do a FB live with me on that event day.  Here is the conversation we had.

Ø  Hira : Sailesh tell us what this event is all about?

Sailesh:  This event is hosted all over the world in 20 countries & 5 continents to create awareness about Dementia through music and dance.  Music and dance helps brain stimulate  and help in Dementia.

Ø  Hira: Sailesh, you are like an angel, I always say that and it is a fact. Tell me something about the causes that you are supporting

Sailesh:   We support the cause of Senior Citizens.. By Senior Citizens I mean those about 60+. Also we work with young people, old people and people with Dementia which a non-curable disease.  What has happened to your family member you can't do anything about it but we can try to prevent it, we can try to stabilize it, we can help the family members and the best thing is let people in the Government know what Dementia and Alziehermers is all about so we can act on it now.

Ø  Hira: I have realised that Sailesh, that you do a lot. You have Silver Innings, A1 Snehanjali that supports the senior citizens  and you have a home in Nalasopara and Rajodi.  Can you please tell me something more about it.

Sailesh : We have one of India's first social enterprise assisted living care home A1 Snehanjali at Nalasopara and Virar where we have a 24x7 dedicated home for Dementia and Alziehmer.  It is a big support and relief for the families of those suffering from Dementia and it is a holistic home. It is not a nursing home, it is not an old age home, it is not an orphanage. It is a home like yours and mine. We only give love and care. That is all they need people.  I think this is what India needs and I don't also think we need to also make our own homes Dementia friendly.

Ø  Hira : Dementia for me was a very scary subject and then I met you, Sailesh.  I also decided to make a film called SELFLESS SOLDIER - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aETnPu2FFXk.   What else do you wish to share.

Sailesh : One more thing. We have a Silver Inning Football Club playing for a cause also for Dementia. Our team is a group topper in Mumbai District Football Association.  This is something I am proud of.  As  for everyone of us out there, I can only say that  love and support your parents because one day you will also grow old.

Ø  Silver Innings FC #SIFC Team qualifies for #MDFA Mumbai District Football Association - MDFA of 2nd Division this year 2017 -2018 and to 1st Division for next year 2018 -2019 in prestigious #MDFA #Football tournament. They are through quarter finals.

Before allowing him to leave, I had to ask him that pertinent question that had me confused for a long time before it  made me come closer to understanding this cause which was:

Ø  Hira :  There is the word Dementia and then there is another word "Alzheimer's". What is the difference between the two and when we talk to our family members or anyone,  they think Dementia and Alzheimer's is the same thing. I also used to think the same until I connected with you, read about it on the internet and started to come to events like these.  Please will you tell us what exactly it is.

Sailesh : Dementia is like an umbrella,  in simple terms if I have to explain, it is like a company that makes different products. Dementia is like that and has many different facets to it like Alzheimer's and other kinds of focused Dementia problems which I don't think one needs to know about except Dementia and Alzheimer's prevail because in our country we have diabetes and heart problems. Dementia is a chronic disorder which affects the brain leading to memory loss, understanding problems, poor cognitive functions and behavioural changes The main problem is forgetting but forgetting is not wrong.

Ø  Hira :  So then please, explain the confusion between old age and Dementia, please.

Sailesh : See, forgetting small things such forgetting to pay a friend, not recognising or remembering people names which sometimes we do intentionally to avoid things. That is normal. Then what is this illness.  It is when you forget everyday routine, such as putting toothpaste on the brush, brushing or gargling, where and when to go to the toilet.  Meal times are forgotten, whether it is morning or afternoon and sometimes if clouds cover the sky a Dementia patient will think it already night or its morning. They will not understand what time of the day it is. With these kind of problems the persons personality changes. Forgetting  little things is okay, but problem comes when you forget people completely, forget to eat, forget name of wife, son, family members-  then it is a problem.  It is then that it never gets cured.

Ø  Hira : How important is a caregiver?

Sailesh : In Dementia and Alzheimer's the caregiver is the most important person. The caregiver is the doctor and the medicine as no other medicine works. Caregiver has the most important role and so who is a caregiver. It is a family member or someone you hire to look after your family member suffering from Dementia who stays 24x7 with them.  Most importantly a caretaker must to take good care of his mental health too.

The evening of dance and music came to an end and I know why Sailesh always advocates and encourages us seniors to continue to dance and sing. Simply  because it stimulates the brain,  relaxes, connects the mind and soul leading to agility, flexibility, balance coordination and as he always says "It is a way to keep your brain and body active and connected. So continue to sing, dance and stay active, then Dementia will never come close to you."

A must read  - “Remember me - You Me and Dementia ”, Book by Sailesh Mishra https://www.amazon.in/dp/9385221051 is a valuable guide in preparing care givers to foresee a new aspect of their life. The people diagnosed with the disease in the early stages will help them understand themselves and plan ones remaining journey of life.  The book is interspersed with real life stories and poems of perseverance and enduring without which, partaking in this journey is not possible.

Connect: silverinnings@gmail.com.  sailesh2000_2000@yahoo.co.uk or Mob:09819819145.

"RIVAAYAT" ....Classical Dance and me?

Classical dance and Me! I still remember as a kid never caring much for it.  I was totally a Bollywood brat till the day the Chennai Music Academy festival became a part of my portfolio at work in 2001. I still remember the first year of coordinating it. I sat in the audience totally blank with my Chennai colleagues not understand a word.  The language was new, the music was new, the lyrics? Lyrics, what were they singing. Chitra, my Chairman's secretary understanding my predicament would whisper the meaning in my ear and by the end of the evening I was mesmerised. To say the least, the next ten years of co-ordinating and attending those beautiful classical dance and vocal performances became something I looked forward to each year. I actually did not need an interpreter anymore. 

So it was not surprising when I saw a post in my #BeHappy group asking if anyone wanted to attend a Kathak event "RIVAYAAT", my hand went up instantly. Of course I googled the word and it means "tradition or customs".

"RIVAYAAT" an initiative by Shalini Thackeray presented by Kalki Foundation and Pooja Pant Dance Company promised an evening of this age-old traditional dance form in a contemporary light and relevant with the changing times. A full house and lucky to have been seated closer to the stage (thank you dear Shalini M'am), I knew I was in for a treat of a lifetime and it was. The Nehru Centre auditorium was full of an audience so mesmerised that they just could not leave. The event hosted by the beautiful Pooja Kanwal Mahtani boasted of celebrities and dignitaries such as Kiran Shantaram, Saroj Khan, Eli Avram (of course got selfies with them), Dr Vitthal Kamat, Pandit Murli Manohar Shukla, Pandit Shailesh Bhagwat, Annabel Mehta, Shilpa Shinde, Ajit Bhure, Anita Kanwal, Nirbhay Wadhwa, Vaibhav Arekar and many more.

Not to forget my very own aww! moment when I saw dear Rajashree Shirke, exponent of Kathak and Bharatanatyam being called on stage. Memories of her gracing my bank's Chennai Music Academy Festival years back and my connect with her came rushing back. I immediately smsd her saying I was in the audience and whether she remembered me and touched to know that she did even though we hadn't connected for months.

"RIVAAYAT" was sheer poetry with beautiful solo performances by Pooja Pant, choreographer and founder of the Pooja Pant Dance Company (now in its 10th year). The contemporary touch of weaving Aesop Fables and Mobile Games into Kathak performed by her students was a delight to watch...and what can one say about the fabulous one and only Aditi Mangaldas and her performance "Seeking the Beloved" about the constant search of life portrayed through compositions of Meerabai, Amir Khushru and Kabir. Aditi Mangaldas just mesmerised us to a spiritually high energy space with her fingers drawing innumerable patterns and moods and just about everything with her voice and dancing. She was something else indeed and I have no words to express what that feeling was watching her perform.

Thank you Shalini M'am for this wonderful opportunity and I must confess that I never knew much about your Kalki Foundation till today.  It was indeed heart warming when you said that "my daughter asked me 'why do we say save the girl child' and not 'why do we not say love the girl child". Even more so that you chose to take Muskaan's thought a step further through this foundation that addresses all aspects of a woman from health, hygiene, safety, education, empowerment and culture by organising "RIVAAYAT" to  inspire youth to appreciate this exquisite dance form of Kathak. It is indeed laudable. "RIVAAYAT" truly is a great beginning and a much needed step towards connecting youth with our culture and traditions.

Blogging & Entrepreneurship with Miss Malini

Malini Agarwal better known in the Bollywood, Fashion and Lifestyle world as the very charasmatic, MissMalini, is a famous blogger and celebrity in her own right. So when ShethePeople in the first edition of Bombaywaali for 2018 posted an invite to  meet her in person on January 12th, I  was definitely not missing it.

Walking into Title Waves at Bandra, I see Miss Malini standing next to her book "To the Moon" happily posing for a click.  People who know me, will shake their head again in good humour for sure. Oh yes, I did walk up to her right there to ask for a selfie.  Never miss an opportunity in life, I say. What worst can happen, but a No!

Miss Malini took the stage with author Kiran Manral and as the evening unfolded, I realised that there was so much to learn from her. What endeared me more was the fact that like me, she chose to explore whatever came her way....and as we know, she made a success of it too from pioneering an Indian lifestyle blog and a website that touches 4 million lives from over 200 countries with a social media following of over 7.5 million.

So what does one do when you have an awesome woman like her sitting across you on a stage. Naturally, you whip out your mobile and start recording her conversation.  That is exactly what I did and I even asked a question.  Here are transcripts of what I recorded.

Miss Malini gave credit to her mother, Manjulika (a selfie with her was mandatory) for her support and what she has been able to achieve.  She shared, "Actually I have to give credit to my mom for that. When I wanted to become a back up dancer, she said 'okay, I am coming to watch with a handy cam'.  She would record everything but she would cut off everyone's heads and just film me, which is amazing. I could just go and try new things. I was lucky to be at a point of time in every career where something new was happening."

To a question on blogging as an entrepreneur, she responded "There is a difference between hobby blogging and entrepreneur.  So people who are blogging as a hobby, do it your own way.  As an entrepreneur, you need to think a little ahead and you need to make a business plan. You have to think about where I am going to be a year from now. What is my mission, what is my vision and how am I going to make money out of it and how can I make it sustainable. Step by step but the most important thing in this is to find that, whether it is  going to be an entrepreneur, what is the USP. Are you just selling to people, is it just content. Is your money going to come from advertising or from selling your product on the blog. You need to decide all those things,  You also need to decide what your benchmark of success will be, is it money, is it fame, is it influence or is it making a difference. So they are very different things so they may not all be money. There might be something you are doing as a project for social work or something, so there money is not the main thing, it is really about getting the message across. So first decide those things, question what your agenda is  and what you would measure as your metric of success".

A few tips she shared along the way in her own words were  >>"you really have to figure out what you really want to do on your blog or Instagram handle and then find the right tools to do it...."   >>"find the gap, or what are you doing differently, or what is the identity that you have that nobody else has out there"  >>"find something that speaks your voice, and  that is unique and that is what is going to make you stand out".  There is an A to Z in her book on digital brand building which will help you to understand more on reaching out to people.

I too, often wonder, why do we need to feed on stories mud-slinging and tearing films down. I may not like a film but I always believe that so much hard work goes into making one, that It was heartening to hear that there is someone out there like Miss Malini who prefers to use the positive vs the negative when reporting about Bollywood. Talking about Bollywood blogging, Miss Malini shared "Bollywood blogging is very complex. There is tabloid blogging, or there is reviewing or there is documenting a fly on the wall experience or doing much more lengthy pieces.  So what kind of content do you want to create. Having a personality and identity makes the biggest difference. The ones who stand out to me who have been Bollywood bloggers have been influencers."

Interestingly I could identify with her totally when she was asked about finding time for herself.  Like her I have always loved my job and the things I do today, that  her saying "I think the balance really comes from finding time to make things that are most important to you, your focus.  For me honestly, my job and what I do is so much fun. It is probably why I spend most time on it." seemed just right to me.

Like Miss Malini, even I abhor the advertisements that talk about fairness creams. Forget about whether it works or not, but have you seen the way the advertisements are presented.  I recently saw one on fairness cream for men.  The man removes his head band and there is a fair skin under it while the rest of the face is dark from the sun.  Really !! I can clearly see the dark make up used for the face.  Terrible sharing for vulnerable men and women out there who have been told fairness matter. Miss Malini too believes that, "The problem with fairness creams is the emotional damage they do. Our skin is a representation of our rich history, why hide? Feel beautiful with the skin you are in."

Then it is Q&A time and I ask a good question and got her  book  "To the Moon" duly autographed that read "Continue to be the rock star you are!!" I guess my madness showed, because wow, in a few minutes Miss Malini had got me totally. I am going to cherish those words forever indeed.

My question to her :.

Hi Malini. It was a pleasure listening to you and especially about the blogging, because I do blog but as you said I do not focus on any blogging, particularly any topic till now and I will probably seek your help on that.  My question to you is that networking is important for entrepreneurs, I do know that, but how we go about it is really not the right way, I've seen.  Women think that walking into an event, meeting women, talking to them, sharing your cards,  and that kind of thing is really networking. But to me I am not very sure that whether you actually achieve what you set out to achieve in that way.  What tip would you give me if I were to walk in for a specific networking  for maybe growing my own business, or sharing my own story or learning more.

  

Miss Malini replied:

Great question. So the one thing I have learnt about networking is that the best thing you could do when networking is don't  spend that time talking about yourself.  When you go to a room of people you want to meet, go and understand their story. Ask them what they do, how they came up with the business, their plans are and tips because one they will be endeared by the fact that you care about their stories. So you are going to be memorable immediately and you will learn something from them.  I am a talker and the one thing I had to teach myself is to listen more talk less, because you are talking and you are not learning anything from them. Let someone else talk and then you will learn. So when you network, go in and ask people their stories and genuinely listen. It is more effective if you went and spoke to three people and had that kind of a conversation than you went and handed your cards to fifty people. In most cases it is going to be dropped somewhere and forgotten. People don't really use it until they really need someone's numbers, right. So go and have a genuine conversation and ask that person about themselves. They will always come back and ask you, your story.

I too truly believe that the more friends you make, the more people you meet, the more you talk to people and connect to, the more you get to learn..... and I do just that.  The number of stalwarts that I have met at #ShethePeopleTV #Bombaywali like  RJ Malishka, Tisca Chopra, Bachi Karkaria and many more has indeed been an enriching experience.  As the quote says -

"I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path

for a purpose. There are no accidents; we're all teachers - if we're willing to pay attention

 to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks

or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door"  ~ Marla Gibbs